Subject: [OT] There Are No Off-Topic Posts In ASVS Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2002 21:52:24 -0600 From: "Charles Sonnenburg" Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Allow me to give an on-topic look at the on-topic nature of ASVS' many on-topic subjects. [Denizen] El Boydo Boyd, you see, plays a Starfleet captain, which is a Star Trek topic. El Boydo is his non-union Mexican equivalent we use when we can't afford to use real Boyd. AMERICANS! Affirm your patriotism! This thread speaks to the plight of terrorism, the plot of last weeks Enterprise episode and its relation to American terrorist attacks. At least, that's the implication. Finally saw entire Broken Bow(1&2) Broken Bow was the Enterprise pilot episode that involved Sam Beckett and a buxom Vulcan outwitting what looks like an army of moldy gingerbread men. OT] Hehe, er, I mean um.. disgraceful! Deals with the perspective of this newsgroup. Since ASVS exists for its own sake, then all discussion of ASVS must be on-topic. Ditto for the rassm's opinon of ASVS thread. [OT] CD/ZIP on same IDE This is a post by Dalton. Dalton introduces the newbies to the group and helps them understand what goes on here, but he is nothing if not cryptic. One must often sift through his posts to find the hidden messages about the FAQ he has posted, as this message here is, cleverly disguised as a discussion of computers. To help break the code, the FAQ is usually referred to by the cypher: "donut." [ENT] *Spoilers* Shuttlepod One Observations Discussion of an Enterprise episode that I didn't watch, but I speculate explains the origins of T'Pol's extremely pouty lips, most likely caused by an Angorian bee sting. Best Crossover This is my post. I write professionally about Star Wars, therefore everything I write is Star Wars material in potentia. As a result, my posts are on topic by definition. Saw a little bit of Broken Bow today Another discussion of the Enterprise pilot, this time by a person who saw little of it. Lucky bastard. [OT] On Wes Hutchings This one may look off topic, but I have a theory. Note the first name, "Wes." Is it or is it not a shortened version of the first name of the vanished Star Trek: TNG character of Wesley Crusher? Also note that Wes has a cat and Data has a cat, and it seems pretty much cut and dried that Wes is in fact Wesley Crusher gone into the witness protection program. Olympic scandle update I should think it's painfully obvious that the entire figure skating fiasco is in fact the sinister work of Darth Sidious. [OT] Bakula on The Daily Show Scott Bakula, star of Enterprise, appears on The Daily Show for their annual new episode. I hate my job... A post by Paradox that links to 7 of 9. 7 of 9 is the second most commonly discussed topic on ASVS. Her breasts are first. [OT] Angelic speed. The seeking of astronavigational data for future discussion of Star Trek warp speed calculations. Also the name of Gaernin's favorite drug. [OT] Brutual Uninhibitated Extreme Violence and Carnage If anything sums up ASVS, that would be it. [OT] Mouse Balls This post explores the distant past of Star Trek technology to when they utilized primitive handheld input devices for their computers. It's also one of Phil's favorite dishes. [SPOILER] Anakin's fighting style I'm trying not to read any spoilers, but unless I miss my mark Anakin's moves are roughly similar to the ones by the white chick in Save The Last Dance. [OT] For the Canadians in the group... More on the Olympic controversial wherein Senator Palpatine remarks, "Enter the beauracrats, the true rulers of the Games..." [OT] Help Wanted A discussion of Federation communism and a request for evidence. In response three tons of video tapes are dropped on him from a passing humor cloud. [WEB] USVSD Update The Ultimate Star Trek Vs. Star Wars Database is by its nature on topic. Wayne at the moment is boasting of how the ultimate database currently is limited to an explanation of the website and forty pictures of Chewbacca. [FICTION] Paradise Lost, Part III Latest posting of my fanfic wherein I milk my one success for another year. William Shatner The man who played Captain Kirk now appears on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. He is booted out when he's unable to recall whether Doohan or Takei played Scotty. Return of the Jedi: The missing scenes A discussion of the alleged "coming out" scene of Nien Numb. Newly added sub-titles include his musings on life and love as well as his warning for Lando to be careful when firing the Concussion Missiles at the reactor core because he needs to keep in mind that Concussion Missiles aren't the same as laser blasts no matter how much they sound like it. Then he sings some Yanni. And so on. As you can see, there are no off topic posts in ASVS of any kind. So, moving on, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back comes out in a week and a half on DVD. Get one. -- Chuck "I've noticed that people who live in their parents' basement now speak better English than ever. The reason is that they're all trying to be like Harry Potter."