------------------------------------------------------------ Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Subject: [FANFIC] The Voyage of the Filthy Whore - Part 1 From: the_blackjack@my-deja.com Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 22:54:13 GMT I've been lurking on the NG for some while now, and I thought I'd write up my own fanfic for shits and giggles. Enjoy. heh heh heh heh heh :^) THE _FILTHY WHORE'S_ VOYAGE - PART 1 BY BLACKJACK [Alpha Quadrant] The tramp freighter _Filthy Whore_ slid through the airless vacuum of space, seeking it's next target. Suddenly, in front of it, a massive wormhole opened. [Bridge of the _Filthy Whore_] "A wormhole's opened. Energy readings are off the scale at 2.32E11 Joules, Cap'n." said "Dutch" Sonnenburg, the _Filthy Whore's_ helmsman/sensor guy. "Bwaaaaa!!! Joules and watts are interchangeable! Wahhh!" wailed Timothy Jones. "Shut the fuck up, BITCH!" shouted Jonathan Boyd, the _Filthy Whore's_ Captain, and with that, he jerked the chain he kept his Bitch on. Jones gagged as the choke chain cut his air supply off. All around the bridge, everyone looked around uneasily. Everybody knew Boyd's 'relationship' with Jones, and there were...rumors floating around what Boyd did to him in their quarters when Boyd was off-duty. The last person to ask Boyd directly about this had gotten strung up by the balls (literally), so no-one asked. "Take us through the wormhole, *now*." "But, Cap'n, the shear levels are too high...we'll fr..." "No BUTS! God will see us through in His infinite widsom." replied Boyd. Unhappily, the crew set about their tasks. It was bad enough having a sick freak like Boyd for Cap'n, but he had to spout off all that crap from a long-dead religion. Everybody knew that Scientiology was the one true religion. Slowly, the _Filthy Whore_ began to move into the wormhole, her jerry-rigged engines firing out of sync, causing the entire ship to shudder. Moments later it slipped into the wormhole. After ten tense seconds of avoiding pulses strong enough to fry the ship in no time flat, the _Filthy Whore_ reemerged billions of lightyears away from where she'd entered the wormhole. "Cap'n...we're in another GALAXY!" shouted Sonnenburg. "I can see that, ya fuckhead! Anything around to loot?" snarled Boyd. "Sir, just one...a very faint beacon just barely audible against the background noise...sounds like a colony beacon." "Excellent. Set a course for it. I shall be in my quarters." With that, Boyd got out of his command chair, and walked to the bridge doors, dragging Jones behind him. [Several hours later - Boyd's quarters] "Say it like you mean it, Bitch!" shouted Boyd as he whipped Jones with a leather whip, while wearing his black facemask. "Hit me harder! Harder!" whimpered Jones. At first, when Boyd had begun his daily 'sessions' with him, he'd hated them. But now he waited eagerly each day for each 'session'. As the sessions went on, he'd realized that in a sick way, he loved Boyd, and Boyd in his own way, loved him back. Panting, Boyd began to whip Jones' back ever so harder, rasing angry red welts. Boyd was getting tired and horny. "Enough of this damn foreplay!" snarled Boyd. And with that, he entered Jones from behind. Grunting together, the two fornicated well into the night. [Imperial Sector Headquarters - Tau Eridani 23 System] Admiral Robert Dalton twiddled with his old fashioned letter opener as he waited for Captain Highwind to show up. It was no wonder the bastard had been re-assigned to this sector, since he was habitually late, and had a gross disregard for following and respecting his superior officers. Finally, ten minutes late, Captain Kynes Highwind strode into Dalton's office. "Sir, Captain Highwind reporting for duty, sir!" With a disgusted look on his face, Dalton slowly turned to face Highwind. "You piece of shit. No wonder you were assigned to this sector, the ass-end of the universe, if there is one." Kynes shifted uneasily, not expecting this from his new CO. "Here, you play by *my* rules. If you don't I'll have you spaced and replaced." Kynes' face began to take on an ash-like complexion upon hearing that last tidbit. _Good_, thought Dalton. "I have a simple job for you. There's this new pirate who's been raiding colony worlds and transports in this sector. Uses completely unfamiliar tech to do it as well. It is your mission to stop this fucker *cold*. To do so, I am assigning you my best gunner, Commander Kenneth von Lowe." Dalton took a scrap of paper out, with a series of numbers on it. "Here is his personal comm-number. Call him, and if he gives you any crap, tell him I reassiged him personally, and if he feels otherwise about my decisions, he's more than welcome to take it up with me." Taking the scrap of paper, Kynes nodded. "Good. Now get out of my sight, Captain." [10 minutes later - von Lowe's apartment] "Harder! Harder!" screamed/panted Alexandra Sutton-Lowe, Lowe's wife. Grunting, Lowe continued to pleasure his wife, until when just before blissful release, the dammned com unit chattered it's head off. Grumbling, he withdrew, causing his wife to groan at being denied the ultimate release. Slapping the 'recieve' button on the communit, Lowe spoke. "Lowe here. Whoever's calling me better have one fuckin' good reason to do so, since I just got off a deployment." "Baron, this is Captain Highwind. You've been re-assigned to me. Be ready to ship out within the hour." "What the FUCK is this shit, man? Who the fuck are you? I ain't fucking going!" screamed Lowe, angry at having his long-deserved leave so rudely interrupted. "Orders. If you want, you can take them up with Admiral Dalton himself." replied Kynes. Snarling, Lowe slammed his fist down onto the table. Damn him. Again. [END PART 1] You like? If you do, I'll write Part 2. 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