Subject: MiSTing: The Federation is in Ruins! Date: Sun, 27 May 2001 20:43:45 -0500 From: "Chuck" Newsgroups: alt.org.starfleet, alt.startrek, alt.startrek.bajoran, alt.startrek.borg, alt.startrek.cardassian, alt.startrek.klingon, alt.startrek.role-playing, alt.startrek.vs.starwars, alt.tv.star- trek.ds9, alt.tv.star-trek.next-gen, alt.tv.star-trek.voyager, rec.ar 6....5....4....3....2....* "Commodore Rollins" wrote in message news:DwXP6.1011$Fk2.585351@news.uswest.net... > For two years after the end of the Dominion War, the Alpha Quadrant > political and military powers believed they had seen the last of the > Founders and the Jem'Hadar. They were wrong. Tom: They ran into them at a Ferengi cocktail party. Boy, were they ever embarrassed. > > Using new technology, the Dominion launched a surprise attack against > the Alpha Quadrant. Mike: The subject of a film starring Ben Affleck and Cuba Gooding Jr. Tom: "December 7th, 2341. A date which will live in infamy." > An attack intended to destabilize the quadrant, to throw the > Federation and it's allies into disarray, Crow: And to get revenge for that awful Battlefield Earth movie. > so they could sweep in and take > control, finally. Tom: "You have no chance to survive. Make your time." > > They were partly successful in their endeavor. Mike: They managed to find good parking anyway. > The Federation is no more. Tom: Make way for Federation Lite! Mike: All the taste you love with half the fat! > From the ashes of the fallen civilization of peace and exploration > rose a new power. A power determined to retake what was once theirs. Crow: An army of Bill Gates clones is unleashed upon the universe. Tom: God help us all. > A power > seeking to revenge the loss of millions of lives. Mike: Ah, revenge, what the Federation stood for. > > Arose the Alliance. Tom: This is no time for your haikus! > > Composed of the remains of Star Fleet and the Federation, the Klingon > Empire, and the Romulan Star Empire, they fight to revenge their > dead. Crow: Screw the living! > To > retake their quadrant. To teach the Dominion that the line has to be > drawn here! Mike: Watch with pride as Starfleet dares to say "No!" to attempted genocide! > > Upon hearing of the demise of Star Fleet Headquarters, Admiral > William Ross Tom: Declared himself High Emperor God of the Federation! Mike: Then he uploaded his brain into a computer. > assumed command of what remained of Star Fleet. Joined by Chancellor > Martok, Tom: Who valiantly stayed out of the fighting! > and the Romulan Proconsul, they formed the Alpha Quadrant Alliance. Mike: Patent pending. All rights reserved. > With > assistance from Commodore Jason Rollins, Crow: I wonder who that is? > they resurrected an Academy in > order to bring new talent to their fight. Tom: Maybe this time you should skip the Latin courses and focus more on how to kill people. Mike: I wonder if "new talent" is Starfleet for "cannon fodder." > > The United Trek Simming Federation Mike: The Dominion cower in fear before the Bolean swim team! Tom: Mike, that's "simming" not "swimming." Mike: Shut up, you're ruining my joke. > takes place in an alternate timeline from > the Star Trek you know. But, who is to say which future timeline is > the correct one? Tom: My money's on the mega-corporation with the army of lawyers over the on-line roleplaying club. > > Join us in our campaign to right the evils perpetrated against the > Alpha Quadrant. Read our information, Mike: This is the most complicated Jehovah's Witness pitch I've ever heard. > and you will see that we fight the honorable > fight. You will see that we will one day be victorious! Crow: For galactic peace. OUR kind of galactic peace. > > You can find our webpage at http://www.utsf.org . The site is > undergoing a MAJOR revision right now, but is still available. Tom: Please come and visit our outdated page. > > Commodore Jason Rollins > Commandant, Alliance Fleet Academy > United Trek Simming Federation > speltzer@hotpop.com > Crow: And remember, if the women can't find you handsome, at least they can find you handy. All material related to Mystery Science Theater 3000 property of Best Brains, Inc. All material related to Star Trek property of Paramount. MiSTing performed by Charles Sonnenburg. Stinger: "But, who is to say which future timeline is the correct one?" -- Chuck "You know where I come from, there's a race car driver. Go to the track and whisper his name, say Tazio Neuvalari, and watch the heads nod up and down. Or go to a bullring and say Mano Latei. Both men face death daily, and both are legends. You never make the great at anything by playing it safe." -Fats Brown, A Game of Pool Subject: Re: Alternate Timelines Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 14:10:02 -0500 From: "Chuck" Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars "Commodore Rollins" wrote in message news:wojS6.1025$0%3.802952@news.uswest.net... > The United Trek Simming Federation Mike: Is in need of your support. Just a few dollars a week can help buy a life for so many needy people. > is a play-by-email simming group that > operates under a different timeline than current Star Trek cannon. Tom: Deploy the Star Trek cannon; fire at will! Crow: Can anyone stop the barrage of one-dimensional characters?! > In our > universe, the Dominion eventually destroyed the Sol system, Crow: All in all, a small price to pay to stop the Battlefield Earth Cartoon. > and most of the > Federation. The remains of Star Fleet, the Klingon Empire, and the > Romulan Star Empire formed a new alliance, Tom: And we're passing the savings on to you! > the Alpha Quadrant Alliance, in order to > defeat the scourge that destroyed their home. > > We are a relatively small group, but always looking for more players > who enjoy Star Trek, or Star Gate, or even Science Fiction in > general. Mike: Star Wars Crow: Terminator Tom: Waterworld Mike: Starship Troopers Tom: X-Men Crow: Babylon 5 Tom: Man, I wouldn't want to run this adventure. Crow: A planet where apes evolved from Klingons! Damn you all to hell! > Our > current openings are : > > Deep Space 12 (Headquarters for the Alpha Quadrant Alliance) : > Security Officer(s) > Fighter Pilot(s) > Civillian(s) Mike: Previous experience required. Your resume will be kept on file. > > USS THUNDER : > Chief Security Officer > Marine Commander Tom: The Federation deploys its crack squad of dolphins! > > Star Gate Field Unit (A SG1 Cross Over, currently with one team, but > always looking to expand the number of Field Units in play) > Field Medic > Alliance Diplomat (Experienced players prefered) Mike: Why would a group seeking total revenge have a diplomat? > Communications/Linguistic specialist > Marine/Security (2-3 positions available) Crow: I'd like to recommend a position. Bend over. > > Check out our newly renovated website, http://www.utsf.org/ for > information on our game, how to apply, etc. Tom: Try out our new pyramid scheme. > > Thank you, > > Commandant Jason Rollins, Mike: Hey, did he get a promotion? Tom: I am zee ruler, und you vill all bow down before me! > Academy Commandant > United Trek Simming Federation > speltzer@hotpop.com > >