Subject: [Fan Fic Review] It's here sort of.. Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 01:58:19 -0400 From: "LT.Hit-Man" Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars With all that is going on with me I only had time to get part of the fan fic review done, don't sweat it I'm starting the second part of this soon so sit back and enjoy. LT.Hit-Man's Fan-Fic Review 11 or Willie Forsyth's lesson in humanity Part 1 Willie Forsyth was walking down the street with a smile on his lips as he shifted the package under his right arm. He had picked up a new web cam for his mother's web site where she would do all sorts of nasty things to herself and if she wanted her son as well, the reason they needed a new web cam was that the donkey that they had been tag teaming after they had taken a few hits from the crack pipe had gone berserk and smashed there web cam and computer leaving the vast horde of sickos that had been watching the show very disappointed. Willie looked up at the bright sunny sky and took a few seconds to enjoy the calm afternoon air then decided to stop and grab a cup of kaffa and a donut and made his way into the local kaffa shop. After paying for his extra large kaffa and cream filled donut Willie sat down and started to drink his coffee after he had finished with his donut he made his way to the pay phone near the doors of the kaffa shop and slotted his calling card. " Hi mom I have the new web camera." Willie said in a sweet voice, " That great son so what do you think we should do for tonight's show?", Willie rubbed his chin for a moment and said into the phone. " I think we should go with a fetish theme tonight." as he felt his dick starting to go hard as obscenely erotic images ran though his mind. " Ohhh we have not down one of those in a long time-" his mother said be she took a long snort from the tray of coke that she had in front of her and then added "-let me see what I can find in the magic toy box for tonight ok sweety?" " Ok ma, but are going to be ok for tonight?" Willie asked as he felt a slight pang of concerning for his mother who had been hurt when the donkey went nuts, " Yes son I'll be fine I was damn lucky the donkey did not bite off my clit when it flipped out, I don't think we'll be doing anymore animal shows for awhile, I know how you love them but I need time to get over it." " Ok mom I'll see you in a few hours ok and be sure to save some of that coke for me ok?" Willie said with a slightly disappointed tone in his voice, " Ok sweetums, love you bye." With that said Willie hung up the phone and drew his light spring coat around his waist to help hid the slight bulge in his paints as a sudden gust of wind raced over his body sending a chill racing up his spine causing him to walk a little faster. Unknown to anyone a shadow stirred on the roof of a building across from the kaffa shop, it's one glowing red eye burning brightly as it began to smile and within the blink of an eye it was gone. A few hours later and four lines of coke later Willie was ready for the show as he started to stoke the lube on his harding cock as his mother got on all fours in front of the web cam. " That's it harder harder I say S-" Willie's mom was starting to say as her son started to fuck her up the ass when suddenly the door to there dirty one room apartment exploded into flying wood fragments that missed Willie and his mom by a few scant inches, though the smoking hole where the door once was stood the Grim Ripper himself. ************** LT.Hit-Man had decided that the time had come to brake in his new Death armor that was part of the loot he had gotten from when he had taken over the level of hell set aside for the so called sin of lust but he had no more enemies to kill the Empire had finished wiping out the last of the Federation remnant and the Vong that had fled after the last great war that also had seen the end of the New Republic and the Imperial Remanent. So LT.Hit-Man had been spending most of his time sitting by his comatose wife's side, no matter what he did with his dark side powers or the latest innovations of Imperial medical technology he could not bring Admiral Daala out of her coma, Quess had been a big help in taking care of his and Admiral Daala's three children that had been killed in a christmas sneak attack by the Federation remanent and hence his journey into hell, The kids just loved there aunite Quess despite the fact that she was an Alu demon. Spike, his and Admiral Daala's adopted son had been tending to matters of the Sith and the Empire while he kept his bedside vigil over Admiral Daala who was slowly wasting away before his very eyes. But one night LT.Hit-Man had been sitting at home spending some time with his children who had missed there father very much, he had given Quess a few days leave to explore the four galaxies that made up the Empire, after he had given her a few piloting courses and loaned her _The Angel of Death_ . After the children where tucked in for the night LT.Hit-Man logged on to the Holo-Net and stopped in to see how his friends in ASVS where doing, it had been far to long since he had posted to ASVS and after a few posts he posted a message telling his friends that things where looking very bleak for Admiral Daala. That's when it happened a low down son of whore called Willie Forsyth posted a mocking reply to the LT's pain filled post about his wife as well as being an asshole to the rest of ASVS. Well that was the last straw that broke the rancor's back, LT.Hit-Man who had always been a lose turbo-laser cannon to start with flipped his lid at Willie's reply, with a raging filled roar that woke his children from there fitful slumber LT.Hit-Man put out a called to Spike and told him to get his ass home and watch over the kids until he got a hold of Quess and told her to come watch over the children, with that said LT.Hit-Man started looking around his home for the tools of his trade when he spied out of the corner of his human eye the Death armor that he had put in a glass case along with the soul stealing light scythe from his trip into hell to bring his kids back. * SMMAAASSHHH! * Ryan, Jessica and Rob snuck out of there bedroom when they heard the sound of braking glass, there hands tightening there grip on there light sabers that there father had crafted for them on there seventh life day. When there three heads peered around the doorway to there bedroom they saw there father putting on a set of black armor painted with white to look like bleached bones of a skeleton, his old blaster and phaser scared stormtrooper armor lay scattered around him. " Your brother Spike is coming home to watch over you while I'm gone and so is Quess-" Rob, Ryan and Jessica's faces lit up when they heard that, they also loved there older brother who would take them for a joy ride in his heavily modded Scimitar assault bomber when ever he stopped by. "- and I want you three to BEHAVE yourselves while I'm gone or I'll be very *upset* when I get back." LT.Hit-Man snarled as he finished put on the Death armor. " Ummm ok dad." Rob said in a meek voice, the Sith triplets had never seen there dad this angry before in there lives and they felt the icy cold hand of fear give there heart strings a few tugs. " When will you be back?" Jessica asked as her father as he pulled the hood of his pitch black Sith cloak over his head, LT.Hit-Man looked at his kids and they saw the look in his one human eye that spoke of terror and death that would soon be dished out on some poor fool that had dared to arouse the anger of the dark side though there father that was enough to send them scampering back into there beds mindful of his command to behave themselves when he was gone. LT.Hit-Man paused for a moment, he knew that he had given his children a bad fright and wished nothing more then to walk into his children's room and reassured them that things where going to alright but then that burning flame of hate surged up in his soul, with a force pull he made the light scythe jump into his outstretched hand. * Snap-HISS! * The light scythe hummed and trembled malevolently in LT.Hit-Man's hand as he turned to leave his home when he saw a data pad on the kaffa table, with an truly evil grin he force pulled the data pad to his left hand and tucked it away in one of the belt pouches on his Death armor and set out on his mission of death and terror. Yes folks it seems the LT has come out of retirement to leave doom and woe in his wake. ********* LT.Hit-Man would have laughed his damn fool head off had he not ben disgusted at the sight of Willie Forsyth who was dressed up like superman while fucking his mother who was dressed up like wonder woman in the ass. Before either he or his mother could scream LT.Hit-Man with a force burst of speed swung the light scythe and cut Willie's mother's head off in a torrent of blood as her soul was ripped from her body and sent to LT.Hit-Man's level of hell to be tormented for a time before it was fed to the Dark Side as her dead body released the shit and piss in it all over Willie who was no longer the man of steel if you take my drift. " So you think you a heartless son of a bitch do you?" Willie heard the Grim Reaper say to him in a low rumbling voice as he let go of his dead mother who's body fell to the dirty mattress. All Willie could do was just make some cool stuttering sounds as the Grim reaper reached up to pull back the hood of his black cloak to reveal a scarred face of a cyborg. " Yo-yo-your not Death." Willie wimpered like a whipped dog as he felt like his bladder was going to explode on him. A cold smile creeped across LT.Hit-Man's face when he heard that and he added in an even more menacing tone of voice, " No I'm worse then Death, I am LT.Hit-Man" Had Willie be in a coherent state he would have died of embarrassment as he pissed himself in mortal terror. " When I'm done with you, you will learn what it is to be a truly heartless being." LT.Hit-Man snarled with a venomous hate as he started to swing his light scythe that sounded like it was screaming with all the voices of the dammed that had fallen victim to LT.Hit-Man " NNNNOOOOO!" Willie's terror leadened shriek was savagely cut off as the weighted, blunt end of LT.Hit-Man's light scythe smashed into Willie's mouth knocking a few teeth lose and sending Willie into the nightmare filled land of Nod. LT.Hit-Man reached down and grabbed the shit, piss and blood covered Willie by the cape of his cheap costume, LT.Hit-Man looked at the web cam that had been broadcasting all that had transpired in the charnel house that had once been the home of two perverts. " Woe to all who have annoyed me and my friends on ASVS for your end is nigh!" he rasped as he pulled the hood of his pitch black Sith cloak back over his head after leaning his light scythe ageist the wall closest to him. LT.Hit-Man then took up his light scythe in his free hand and dragged Willie out his apartment, leaving the sickos that had been watching Willie and his late mother get it on sitting there in horror when a few minutes later an armed thermal detonator flew though the ruined doorway of the blood drenched apartment and when it went off a minute or so later the blast leveled the apartment complex, luckily for the few other tenets that had been living in the run down apartment complex they had been evicted by LT.Hit-Man before he ruthlessly pulled the plug on the Willie Forsyth and family happy hour. LT.Hit-Man looked over his shoulder at the bloody, filth covered troll that had pissed him off as his * borrowed * Kuat Drive Yards HAVw A5 Juggernaut tore though the cold Corascant winter's night. LT.Hit-Man shook his head as he began to mentally review the list of trolls that had a heavy judgment call owewing on there worthless asses, LT.Hit-Man let out a slight chuckle he had missed hunting down the low life scum that had gotten on his bad side and bringing an agony filled end to there worthless lives. After a few near beers Max Rodlai was felling a bit horny as he was sitting at his computer, when he decided to call it a night. After shutting down his computer Max A.K.A 80 Knight as he was known on the holo-net grabbed a coat and walked out of his home in western Corella and started wondering from bar to bar looking for a whore when he saw a some what overweight woman standing on a street corner after he had left the last bar he had stopped off at, with a slight sigh 80 Knight walked towards the hooker who was talking with a man in a snappy 70's pimp outfit. Spyda Blade was about to put the beat down on the new ho he had in his stable, it had been well over three hours and Natasha had not made him a single credit not that the fact that this was Natasha's first night of working the streets mattered to him. " Hey how much for a blow from the pig?" a voice called out from behind Spyda and Natasha. Spyda turned around and looked Max over, " I'll tell you what since this is the ho's first night out I'll let you have her for say 20 creds." Spyda told Max in a cheesy late 70's blackxpoltion pimp's voice. 80 Knight looked Natasha over and saw that her tits where sagging slightly and that her brown eyes had the look of blown fuses but he did not care. 80 Knight handed Spyda the creds and took Natasha into an alley by the street corner and behind a dumpster. " You know what I want." 80 Knight said as he undid the fly on his paints and pulled out his slightly hard cock. Natasha knelt down in front of her first trick with a slight smile on her heavily done up lips, 80 Knight closed his eyes as he felt the whore's breath on his cock and got ready to feel her lips around his cock as she sucked him dry. But when he felt her breath on his cock yet again he open his eyes and saw that Natasha was still exhaling on his cock. " What do you think your doing?" 80 Knight asked in a slightly pissed off voice. " I'm giving you a blow like you asked for?" Natasha said in a stunned voice as you can tell she's about as sharp as a bowling ball. 80 Knight was pissed right off, pissed that he had wasted good creds on a bitch who had no idea of what she was doing. " YOU STUPID FAT COW!, THAT NOT HOW YOU GIVE A BLO-" 80 Knight started to scream but suddenly his body stiffened up and became a pale, almost bloodless shade of while and slumped to the grimy ground of the dirty alleyway. Even though Natasha was about as smart as a dead whale on roller skates she could tell from the fear filled look in her trick's glassy stare that something bad was happening and she looked up. Her terror filled screams last for a few seconds before she was put down for the count by a bone white armored fist. Spyda knew that something was happening and from the sounds of Natasha's scream that was suddenly cut off he knew that what ever was going on was not a good thing and made his way into the suddenly chilly alley where he saw the back a tall figure in a black hooded cloak standing over his whore and her costumer. " What do you think you're doing with my ho-OOOOH SHIT!" Spyda's tough pimp voice changed into an uptight squeak as the black hooded figure turned around to revealing one very cold faced LT.Hit-Man After a minute or so of staring at each other Spyda found his voice and worked up the nerve to speak to the LT, " Hmmm LT I thought you where married?" Spyda said as he tried to figure out what the insane Sith lord was doing with he new whore and her trick, but when Spyda saw the LT's eyes narrow into hateful slits he quickly added, " Ya right, none my business I understand, well I hope you have fun with them, don't worry I'm not going to charge you for the us-" Spyda felt his throat slowly being crushed that cut off the gush of words that he had been blubbering towards LT.Hit-Man who was slowly reaching into a belt pouch of the skeletal armor that he was wearing under the pitch black cloak. Spyda started gasping for breath as LT.Hit-Man walked over to him, the corner of his human eye twitching slightly. Spyda suddenly found that he could breath as LT.Hit-Man loomed over him with a menacing look in his human eye and held up a data pad for Spyda to see and he was struck with a sinking feeling as he read it and saw that it was the ASVS FUQ list of idiots and trolls. " Oh for fuck sakes how's a guy to make an honest living if someone keeps bumping off his whores?" Spyda griped, in the last week six of his whores had been killed by there tricks who played a tat to rough with them. " That's not my problem." LT.Hit-Man said as he put the data pad back into the pouch on his Death armor and then added in a coldly sarcastic tone of voice, " Some how I can not see you standing on a street corner in a leathereen mini and fish net stockings." leaving a very insulted Spyda standing there as LT.Hit-Man grabbed 80 Knight and Natasha Bell by a foot and dragged them off into the darkness of the alley that seemed to swallow them up. Grand Admiral Sheppard was sleeping and fondly dreaming of the time he blew the head off of the Klingon Emperor as the first of the long wars had begun when he and his band of rouges had started there take over the milky way galaxy. *PING* *PING* Grand Admiral Sheppard rolled over in his bed, looked at the wall crono and saw that it read 2:45am. " This had better be good or I'm going to have who ever is on the line fed to LT.Hit-Man" Grand Admiral Sheppard snarled as he walked over to the vid-com. When Grand Admiral Sheppard activated the vid-com he saw the haggard face of one very overwrought Grand Admiral Dalton. " Dalton do you have any idea of what time it is?" Grand Admiral Sheppard rubbed his tired eyes. " Well losing your beauty sleep is least of our worries, LT.Hit-Man is on a tear!" Grand Admiral Dalton said as he slammed his hands down on his desk as he leaned closer to the vid-com. Well when Grand Admiral Sheppard heard that he woke up really quick. " Ok do you have any idea of what set him off this time?" Grand Admiral Sheppard called over his shoulder as he began to get dressed. " I have no idea of what flipped his cookie this time how ever you might want to see this." Grand Admiral Dalton said, then his images was replaced by a man in some odd costume doing an older woman doggie style in an equally odd costume. Grand Admiral Sheppard stopped buttoning up his uniform's dress coat as the there was an explosion that sent a hail of wooden fragments flying pasted the two lovers then the video showed what looked to be the Grim Reaper himself standing there at the point in the video Grand Admiral Sheppard felt the need to have a weapon in his hand, preferably one in the tera-ton range. After the Grim Reaper beheaded the older woman the man in the strange getup and then when the Grim Reaper spoke with the voice of LT.Hit-Man Grand Admiral Sheppard felt his guts turn to ice water. But what really put the hoo-doo on Grand Admiral Sheppard was when the Grim Reaper pulled back it's hood to show the face of LT.Hit-Man, that also gave Sheppard a good look at the new armor that the LT was sporting, LT.Hit-Man had been wearing that old set of stormtrooper armor of his for so long that Sheppard could not picture the LT decked out in anything else. After the video was done the image on the vid-com flipped back to that of Grand Admiral Dalton who had a look in his panic filled eyes that told Sheppard that there was more bad news to be had.. Without any prompting from Sheppard Grand Admiral Dalton told Sheppard about Sypda's run in with the wigged out LT, after the last war Spyda had retired from the Imperial armed forces and set up shop on Corella as to why he took up pimping was anyone's guess. Grand Admiral Sheppard finished getting dressed, he looked over at the vid-com and told Grand Admiral Dalton to put out an Empire wide warning that the LT was on a rampage as he walked over to a rack of weapons and grabbed the AR-15 that the LT had given him as a gift, slapped a travum loaded clip into it and loaded the 0.1KT 40mm micro-nuke into the grenade launcher. After grabbing a few more travume loaded clips for the AR-15 he told Grand Admiral Dalton to meet him at the home of LT.Hit-Man then Grand Admiral Sheppard made his to the shuttle bay with beads of sweat raining down from his troubled brow. Promethues was relaxing in front of the H.V. (Holo-Viewer) with a cold beer as his fav show The History of the Galaxy started to play. Promethues was leaning back in his high backed, overstuffed leatereen chair, he took a swing from his drink as he watched the H.V. Promethues let out a yawn and began to fall asleep after watching a few more shows on the H.V. when the tempature in his living room began to drop slightly. At first Promethues did not notice the change but after about three minutes he began to shiver, " What the hell? " Promethues thought to himself as he ordered the computer to increase the living room's tepature. * Soon * a ghostly voice wispiered behind him, this brought Promethues out of his sleepy state. After looking around Promethues settled back into his chair as the living room began to slowly warm up. " Must have been something on the H.V. " Promethues muttered to himself to enplane the strange wispier that had slightly rattled him and began to nod off to sleep. * You will * The same ghostly voice that had awoken him earlier spoke again but this time there was deadly and malevolent tone to that voice as the tempture in Promethues's living room dropped sharply. Promethues jumped out of his chair and began to wildly look around his home for the source of that menacing voice that had pulled him back from the edge of sleep and back to the land of the awake. After an hour of searching every nook and cranny of his small home Promethues turned off the H.V. after he had retrieved a small lock box from the closet of his bedroom and sat back down in his chair. " Ok asshole I don't know what sick game your up to but I'm going to make you wish you had never been born." Promethues thought to himself as he started to assemble his DL-44 heavy blaster pistol that he had stashed away a few years ago after he had been mugged by a bunch of low life son of a bitches. Promethues watched the clock in his living room as the minuets seemed like hours as he waited for who or what ever was fucking around with him to make his or her or it's move, as he waited fear began to build up within Promethues so fearful was he that he would jump at every little sound and it had been a hard fought battle not to pull the blaster's trigger before he realized that there was nothing around him that could do him harm. Slowly the hours passed but his fear kept right on growing with each passing hour, Promethues had gone though four pots of super strong kaffa to keep himself awake but soon his mind and body began to slowly shut down as the need for sleep slowly began to get the upper hand in it's battle with his fear. " Damm it! " Promethues snarled to himself as he let out a long yawn as he felt his eyes starting to grow heavy, he could have called the stormtroopers and reported the incident to them but he misguidedly believed that he could handle what ever was going on, so he slapped himself in the face to wake himself up. Promethues looked up at the clock on his wall and it read 11:58 pm and without warning the blaster fell from his tired hand and hit the floor with a dull thud. " No damn it I have to stay awake!" Promethues screamed to himself in his fear ravaged mind as his eye lids began to slowly close and the last thing he saw before his tried eyes closed completely was the clock that read 11:59 pm. * DIE! * the same terror inducing voice snarled from behind Promethues who's eyes opened and saw the clock on the wall that read 12:00 am but there was something different and it took Promethues a few second to realize that a shadow had fallen over him as the air around him dropped to near freezing. LT.Hit-Man was smiling that deadly smile of his as he watch his lasted victim start to slowly turn around and look over his shoulder as his eyes grew wide with fear that caused the raging Sith fire within the LT's warped soul to rage all the more as he started to rise his light scythe. Promethues finished looking up at the being that had cast such a dark shadow over him and just about shit himself when he saw Death standing behind his chair and slowly raising what looked like to be a bladeless scythe as much as he wanted to scream Promethues found himself paralyzed as he looked at the blackness under the hood of the Grim Reaper's black cloak and only seeing a glowing blood red orb where a human being's left eye would be. * Snap-HISS! * a wickedly curved glowing black blade sprang to life where a normal metal blade would be on a normal scythe, the snarling hum of the light scythe was enough to bring Promethues out of the state of mortal terror that had stolen his will to move as the Still One brought the scythe crashing down towards him. " FUCK! " Promethues screamed as he threw himself out his the chair he had been sitting in as a firey line of pain raced down his spine, his trembling hand stanching up the dropped blaster pistol. " Hehehe. " LT.Hit-Man chuckled to himself as he watched his victim hit the floor, his clothes falling off his body, not only had he cleaved the chair that his victim had been sitting on in two but he had artfully cut his victim's clothes off from the back of the neck down to the ass of his paints while opening up three layers of skin along his victim's back. Promethues felt goose bumps ripple across his body as his clothes fell away from his body as he swung his blaster and pulled the trigger as fast his he could as the pain from his slightly filleted back fueled his ever growing terror LT.Hit-Man used a burst of force speed to duck and wave around the blaster bolts that had been fired at him with such speed that to the normal human eye the blaster bolts seemed to harmless pass though him. As the last blaster bolt sped towards him LT.Hit-Man moved his light scythe and sent the blaster bolt back on an exact reverse trajectory that knocked the hastily emptied blaster from Promethues's hand. With a low rumbling chuckle on his lips LT.Hit-Man brought the blunt end of his light scythe crashing down on Promethues's skull. Soon the real fun would began but first all the players would have to be brought into the game. Dave Dugan was running out of his house, he had slept in and was going to be late for the meeting. " Damm it!" Dave snarled as he slid his ponderous bulk into the some what cramped cabin of his DR-90X SUV, after he had gotten his lame ass out of the bed he had made a hasty breakfast of toast with nut butter and mint jelly, extra heavy on the mint jelly after he had gotten dressed. Dave started up the SUV and was driving along the highway when he saw that there was a splotch of mint jelly on his white shirt, " Ahh well save that for a snack at the meeting. " Dave muttered to himself as he kicked up the SUV's speed to 95 as he came to a busy turn off. There was a loud blaring of car horns as Dave's SUV sped though the turn off causing a car to swerve to the left to avoid getting clipped by the speeding tan SUV and causing the car to slam into a tanker truck that was hauling a fresh load of chilled braman milk and the side of the tanker caved in when the car hit it, there was a tidal wave of chilled milk that had flooded the car. Dave was laughing as he saw the driver of the car tumble out of his crippled car, stagger to his feet and started shaking his fist at him while screaming a storm of obscenities that would have made a Sith lord cringe. " I'll have to the rest of the I.D.F.H. about this one." Dave snickered as he made a left turn. Not only was Dave a member if the I.D.F.H.( Idiotic Drivers From Hell) he was the founder of the I.D.F.H. and his code name was Virus-x. The I.D.F.H. are a group of men, woman and non-gender specific beings who's main goal in life was to make driving a miserable experience for everyone else As Dave was mentally reviewing the minutes from the last meeting he failed to notice the tricked out black van with heavy duty mags on the back with a red pin stripe along it's sides. * CRASH! * There was a loud sound of metal hitting metal that was followed seconds later by Dave's equally loud cursing as he fought to keep the SUV from fish tailing into a ditch. Dave looked into his rear-view mirror and saw a flaming skull with fangs that where dripping blood that had been painted on the front of the souped up black van that had clipped him. " Mother of fuck!" Dave swore as the black van started to bear down on him. " Come on you fucker! " Dave snarled as he got ready to make his move, wondering who the driver was of the black van. When Dave was sure that the driver of the black van was committed to ramming him he swerved his SUV to the left and slammed on the brakes and watched as the black van shot passed him. " Right asshole it's your turn! " Dave yelled as he gunned the SUV forward towards the back of the black van that had a metal fist painted on the back that was flipping the bird, under the fist there was some words that said " How's my driving?, Call 1-9999-Eat-Shit and Die! " Dave stomped down on the gas petal and clipped the black van's left side, with a sound of grinding metal the black van began to swerve wildly. " HANG ON TO YOUR LUG NUTS,WE'RE IN FOR SOME CHOP! " LT.Hit-Man yelled over his shoulder with a manic grin as he wrestled with the van's steering wheel. Willie Forsyth let out a yelp as he landed on Promethues who started swearing at him when 80 Knight suddenly puked all over Natasha who slugged him. " BELAY THAT SHIT YOU LOW DOWN DONKEY KRIFFER! " LT.Hit-Man snarled as he wrenched the van's steering wheel hard to the left, the back end of his van slamming into the front right side of the SUV, the force of that impact sent the two warring vehicles spinning out of control. Virus-x had time to let out a scream before his SUV slammed into a tree head on, LT.Hit-Man was laughing like the loony he is as his passengers started screaming like a bunch of ninnies as the van flipped over a couple of time before it spun to a stop on it's roof. " Noting like a spin in the country side to unwind eh folks?!?!" LT.Hit-Man chirped in a pleasant and slightly dazed voice as he undid his seat belt, the LT might be an insane son of a rancor but he was no fool, and landed on the roof of his overturned van. However the passengers in the caged off back of the van where not afforded the luxury of a seat belt and had suffered a few broken bones, a mess load of bruises and a concussion or two throw into for good measure but they would live. Unfortunately....for them that is. Virus-x was starting to come around when he felt something wet on his hurting face, it was blood lots of it. " Hun? " was all Virus-x was able to mutter to himself as his addled brain was trying to recover from the crash. Suddenly there was sound of tearing metal that caused Virus-x to snap out of his dazed frame of mind, he looked over to see the Grim Reaper standing beside the hole where the driver's side door had once been. " Fancy running into you here." Virus-x heard the Grim Reaper say in a pleasantly malicious voice as he reached for him. Kathryn Jordan was returning her all time fav move "A Beautiful Mind" the best romance movie she had ever seen and clung tightly to the move as she waited in line when suddenly there was a loud crash followed by scores of screams. Kathryn Jordan turned to see what the fuss was about and was shocked to see black van plowing though the mall as panicked shoppers dove out of the way of the van while screaming there heads off as rack after rack of good where send flying into the air as the black van made like a fright train towards her. *SCRREEEAAAACCCHHHH* Kathryn was dimly aware of something warm running down her leg as the fender of the hellish black van came to rest less then 1/100th of a millimeter from her kneecaps as the videotape fell to the floor from her nerveless fingers. LT.Hit-Man opened the door of his van The Black Death and slowly walked towards the stunned woman who just about became a new hood ornament for The Black Death. " You know I always said Wal-Mart needed a drive thu don't you think?" LT.Hit-Man snickered evilly as he walked towards the brain dead Kathryn and saw the vid tape she had dropped as some of the more bolder shoppers in the store had slowly started to gather around the black van that had plowed a path of devastation though the store. " A beautiful mind eh?" LT.Hit-Man said to the brain dead Kathryn who was starting to quake with fear " Don't you be worrying about that cause when I'm done with you, you will not have a mind left, beautiful or otherwise." LT.Hit-Man added as he reached out and grabbed Kathryn by her hair as she started to scream and dragged her to the van. Grand Admiral Sheppard and Grand Admiral Dalton where sitting in the living room of LT.Hit-Man's house, doing there best to relax as there gaze wandered to and fro and seeing the various trophies mounted on the walls of the dread Sith lord's home from countless battles that LT.Hit-Man had fought in. There was the head of the hated Luke Skywalker as well as the heads of the various Fed and NR leaders above the skull lined fire place, at the end of the trophy rack there was the pussy of the borg queen. ( don't ask you do not want to know ) Grand Admiral Sheppard tugged at the collar of his uniform as Quess walked into the living room with a tray and three cups along with a big pot of kaffa. " So Quess do you have any idea of why LT.Hit-Err your Master has gone of his latest rampage across the Empire? " Grand Admiral Dalton asked as Quess set the tray down on the kaffa table that made from the rib bones of countless victims of the LT. Quess poured herself a steaming mug of kaffa, she then folded her bat wings along her sides as she leaned back on the over-stuffed klingon hide chair. " I have no idea of what has angered my Master so." she told the Grand Admirals who had not for the first time given her the once over, true that Quess was LT.Hit-Man's slave, nanny and maybe lover but it would be a sad if not lethal error in judgement to mistake the blood red haired, light jade green eyed Alu demon as a chew toy for anyone who knew the LT and as such the two Grand Admirals showed her the respect that was do to her, not only because if any dumb fuck dis'ed her the LT would be all over them like a bad case of travume poisoning or even the fact the young, teenage looking demonness could more then and willing deal with any fool who dared to be anything less then civil to her as one unlucky crewer found out as his very life force was drained from his body by a light cress from Quess, the said crewer had dared to wispier to one of the other crewers a very obscene remark of what he would like to do with her. Quess who was being taken to the med lab to be healed after LT.Hit-Man had taken over the level of hell set aside for the so called sin of lust had overheard the comment that involved her, the crewer and a vat of lubricant. LT.Hit-Man watched with interest as Quess slowly walked over to the very doomed crewer who was rooted to the spot where he stood in fear as his children began to smile with unholy glee as Ques slowly reached out with a clawed hand towards the terror filled crewer. The crewer let out an unholy scream that was half filled with unimaginable pain and half filled with a scream of unearthly pleasure. Quess let a charming smile that was on par with her master's fourth most terrifying smile play across her face as the crewer's desiccated corpse fell to the deck of the hanger bay having been drained of it's very life essence as the rest of the crewers in the hanger bay began to slowly back away from the demon woman that had arrived with the dreaded Sith lord and three evilly charming children. Quess looked over to her master and his resurrected children and saw that he was smiling as he nodded his head in approval of her method of dealing with the disrespectful crewer. There was nothing said as she fell in line behind her master and his children as they left the hanger bay, with in less then fifteen minutes of LT.Hit-Man and his demonic slave woman leaving the hanger bay word had spread though the ship to say clear of the demon woman and for the loving of living don't be disrespectful towards her. Grand Admiral Dalton and Sheppard looked at each other with a certain amount of fear as they had a mental image of a counter that was rattling off numbers that ranged in the hundreds of thousands, each number representing the violent and blood end of some unlucky being's life. " Well do you know who might have any idea of what caused your master of fly off the handle?" Grand Admiral Sheppard asked as he watched Ques pour herself a steaming cup of kaffa. " Well my Master's off spring might know, they where here when my Master left for parts unknown." Quess said in a purring voice that the two grand admirals found alluring. So all Grand Admiral Dalton and Sheppard could do was sit there and wait for the Sith triplets to return from there joy riding around the Empire with there older brother Spike. Meanwhile one very irate Sith lord was reading from a data pad while his terrified victims watched, every so often LT.Hit-Man would look up from his data pat and giggle at his victims who in turn would start crying for they knew that the remainder of there lives was now measured in hours that seemed to pass ever so slowly as there fearful minds showed them images of death so gruesome that they started to wish that LT.Hit-Man would get on with killed them and be done with it. But LT.Hit-Man had other ideas in his warped and twisted mind for them. Four hours later Spike and the Sith triplets walked into there home with loony grins on there faces, they had spent the better part of the day bombing the shit out of the ruined city of San Francisco scaring the living shit of the ghoulish beings that had been the prisoners of war between the Federation and the Empire. They had been condemned to live the rest of there lives in that hell zone of city by Imperial law, the Empire had turned what was left of that city into one vast prison. " Grand Admiral Sheppard, Grand Admiral Dalton what an unexpected surprise to see you here." Spike said as he sat down and poured himself a mug of kaffa, the Sith triplets got themselves a bottle of fuzzy-glug drinks and sat down beside the two Grand Admirals who for very good reasons felt there discomfort shot up another notch. The Sith triplets had been terrors when they had been alive as they where growing up the best way to describe there upbringing would be to take the Spanish inquisition and have it ran by children. " Umm it's good to see you Spike, Ryan Robert, Jessica. " Grand Admiral Sheppard said with a slightly nervous gulp in his voice, he had suffered greatly at the hands of the LT's kids as they where growing up. Namely the time that the Sith triplets had rigged his shower to spray him with fizz wiz that had been laced with not only an indelible ink that had stained his skin a sicking shade of pea soup green but the fizz wiz had also been laced with the sap of a Kemo plant that gave Sheppard a full body rash that had itched and burned so badly that it made poison ivy look tame in comparison. Grand Admiral Dalton had also suffered at the hands of the Sith triplets, after they had put the zap on Grand Admiral Sheppard they had snuck into the hanger bay of the ESSD _The Killing Joke_ and started to monkey around with Grand Admiral Dalton's personal Tie InD so that ten minutes after it was launched the flight controls with swap directions with each other so that if Grand Admiral Dalton put the Tie into a climb it would streak to the right left of into a downward spiral at full speed while this missile threat indicator would scream at him that his ship had been painted by a shit load hostile crafts that where not there. Unfortunately for Grand Admiral Dalton he had deiced to take his Tie out for a spin though an astroid field unaware of the sabotage that had been done by the Sith triplets, to make a long and terrifying story short Grand Admiral Dalton got the ride of his life as his Tie went berserk into the middle of the astroid field but the worst part of the matter was that the Sith triplets had also buggered up his Tie's comm system so that when Grand Admiral Dalton had tried to call for help the comm system had said to him in that annoyingly pleasant voice that had been programmed into the late UFP's computers " You call can not be placed that this time, please hang up and try your call again, this is a recording." It could have been worse, that Sith triplets had thought about messing with the Tie's hyper drive but decided to leave it alone. After his unplanned joyride Grand Admiral Dalton had gone to tell Grand Admiral Sheppard about what had happened to him but when Grand Admiral Dalton had found out what had happened to Grand Admiral Sheppard who was taken a vacation in the ESD's med bay he had conducted a short but very through investigation and found out that the Sith triplets where behind it all. After Grand Admiral Sheppard was released from the med bay he and Grand Admiral Dalton ha told LT.Hit-Man about what his kids had done, LT.Hit-Man called out the Sith triplets and began to thoroughly chastise them right then and there, he ground them for a week with no H.V, no treats and told them that they would pounder upon what they had done but what really put the fire up Grand Admiral Dalton and Sheppard's asses was that the LT along with the Sith Triplet's mother Grand Admiral Daala had punished the Triplets not for what they did but for getting caught after the fact! Wisely Grand Admiral Sheppard and Grand Admiral Dalton did not complain about the punishment meeded out to the Sith triplets, at lest not with in a light year of LT.Hit-Man or Grand Admiral Daala. " Well do you have any idea of why your father has gone off the deep end? " Grand Admiral Dalton asked Spike who had finished his mug of kaffa, Grand Admiral Sheppard had noticed that the Sith tipples had ben talking between themselves while occasionally glance over at the two Grand Admirals with that ever so innocent smile on there angelic faces but the evil glint in there eyes gave Grand Admiral Sheppard the willies big time. " No I have no idea of why my dad have as you say gone off the deep end, I was in the Temoralg system in the Baka galaxy at the time when I got the call from father to come back home and take care of my brothers and sister." Spike told Grand Admiral Dalton then he turned to the Sith triplets and asked them if they knew why there father had gone on another one of his rampages. For a moment the Sith tipples looked at each other debating if they should tell the Grand Admirals what they knew about the matter but what finally convinced the little hellions to fess up was there father's admonishment to behave themselves while he was gone. " Well I really don't know why dad have taken off for." Robert said in a voice that sound like a shy child who had been asked a very important question as his hand rested on the kid sized DL-44 heavy blaster pistol on his hip but before the flustered Grand Admirals could said anything Jessica spoke up in a menacingly sweet voice, " Well before dad left he had been reading from a data pad, it seemed like that what ever was on it had really upset him." as she causally tossed her small light saber from one hand to the other with a look of fined ignorance. Grand Admiral Sheppard let out an exasperated groan, " Look do any of you have any idea as to what was on that data pad?" Grand Admiral Sheppard asked with a slightly pleading tone in his voice because he knew full well that what ever was on that data pad was the key to the reason why LT.Hit-Man was tearing across the Empire and leaving death and terror in his wake but he also knew that the Sith triplets where taking an unholy delight in his and Grand Admiral Dalton's madding frustration about the LT as he felt that he was fast approaching his breaking point. Robert looked over to Jessica and shrugged his shoulder as if to say " I don't know, do you know?" with a sadistic smirk, Jessica shook her head, " Nope I have no idea, do you?" she said as she looked over to Ryan with a mad twinkle in her eyes. Ryan was sitting there with his arms across his chest with a look in his eyes like he wanted to say something but he would get in trouble if he did, After a few seconds of looking into the Grand Admiral's pleading eyes Ryan spoke with a tone in his voice that was like he was telling them a big secret that he sound not be telling them, " Well I think it was something called..." he stop speaking for a moment as if he was trying his hardest to remember something that was vaguely important and drawing out the two Grand Admiral's agony for a few more sweet minutes and added " ... The ASVS FUQ list of idiots and trolls... I think?" with a malevolently innocent look in his eyes. There was a very sudden drop in the living room's temaptuer as a sense of impending doomed creeped up the spines of the two Grand Admerials, Quess had a slightly puzzled look in her eyes but within her heart she knew that something bad was going to happen soon, very soon, Spike looked at Ryan for a moemnt then started to giggle nervously he had an idea of what was going to happen be he was not sure so he found himself waiting in breathless anticipation. " Oh fuck no!, no, NO IT JUST CAN'T BE!" Grand Admiral Dalton blubbered as he fought down the urge to puke as the fill implications of what Ryan had said to him finely sunk in, Grand Admiral Sheppard had that far way look in his suddenly pale face. As if in cue the H.V. crackled to life and there was the manically grinning face of LT.Hit-Man on every H.V though out all four galaxies of the Empire. " HOODLY HI NEIGHBORENOS! guess what time it is!" LT.Hit-Man said in a way wacked out hick voice that was slowly turning every being that was watching this transmission blood to ice water. " That's right boys and girls it's time for another one of my super dupper not to be missed, get you game on FAN FIC REVIEW! " LT.Hit-Man said as the flames of madness in his human eye began to burn a lot more brighter, the hellishly insane smile on his scared face trying to reach around the back of his skull. Across the Empire all activity came to a crashing halt in some cases it was quite literally a crashing halt as the fear began to increase thought out the Empire. " So grab some Jedi crispises, a cold brew, sit back and enjoy the show! " then LT.Hit-Man let out such a hideously, soul crushing laugh of the dammed that caused over a million cases of heart failure and countless attacks of blatter hostility that Grand Admiral Sheppard and Grand Admiral Dalton found themselves victims of. LT.Hit-Man looked over at his victims and spoke with a low rumbling tone of voice. " Each of you low life scum bags have been chosen for this fan fic review because your names are on the ASVS FUQ list of idiots and trolls." he pused to let his words sink in and added " I don't know why your names on the list but that is a good enough reason to frag your sorry asses but if it had not been for this gun-gan shit stain-" LT.Hit-Man pointed to Willie Forsyth " - I would have been happy to have let you live out your worthless lives but no ass face here had to get on my bad side, you can thank him now because you won't be able to later!" as he marched his chained victims over to the top of a hill, in his left hand was what looked like a picnic basket, in the background on could see a city that was some three thousand miles in length with a few skyscrapers that seemed to reach up into the clouds as LT.Hit-Man and his victims sat down on the top of the hill. Grand Admiral Dalton let out a strangled gasp when he saw the city, it was the capital city of Ubar on his home world of El'Boydo XXXXXXXXVIII ! By the time the day was done the beings that lived on El'Boydo XXXXXXXXVIII would never be the same or sane again. LT.Hit-Man dug into the picnic basket and pulled a foot long sub that had over eight kinds of meat in it along with some super hot mustard and loaded with onions and garlic. After taking a big bite out of the sub LT.Hit-Man put it on top of the picnic basket and pulled out a data pad from a compartment on the belt of Death armor. " First up is Wolves at the Border by Colin Brain (The Yosemite Bear) Witz." LT.Hit-Man said before he took another bite from the sub, he could see that his victims where hungry but he had made sure that they had food to eat if you could call the gray sludge known as Leola root stew food. " This fan fic deals with the late Federation's so called Prime Directive and what happens when it gets violated." LT.Hit-Man said as he reached for a can of Tall Toad beer, after opening it and taking a swig he added " In this fan fic a Federation scientist is hiding out of a shit hole of a world that is populated with scientist beings call the Fenari they are a wolf like creatures that is very similar to the werewolves of ancient earth legends while they are very war like they have some fairly advanced technology for such a war like race namely primitive slug throwers and the like." LT.Hit-Man told his captives who where wondering what the loony Sith lord was up to, they had heard about his other fan fic reviews and while they had been scared shitless by them they had never suspected that they would be in one so all they could do was sit and wait for the end in growing fear. " Well the shit hits the fan when a bunch of Cardassians show up and set up a mining complex on the world of the Fenari, as you can guess the Fenari are none to happy about that and wipe out the mining complex, the Cardassians in turn wiped out a few villages from orbit, including the one that the Fed scientist is observing." " So what does the dumb kriff feddie do?, not only does he give the Fenari Federation technology but he helps them to take over the cardie ship." LT.Hit-Man let out a slight chuckle before continuing with the review, " Well after the Fenari rip the cardies a new one they throw the Feddie in the clink and start there own little empire by trading with the Marquis and the Ferengi for more ships to protect and expand there sphere of influence." After finishing off the sub and the beer LT.Hit-Man grabs the chain that his victims are tethered to and drags them to there feet as they start walking towards Ubar city. If there was one thing that LT.Hit-Man it was a nice stroll though the countryside while reading fan fics. " Anyways to wrap things up with this nice fic, it's not a Starwars vs Startrek fic but all in all it's not to bad and leaves one with two lines of thought on the Prime Directive, one that such an idea as the Prime Directive is a good thing you know what I think of that, IT'S A KRIFFING WASTE OF TIME!, no wonder why the Federation got there heads handed to them by us, they where a bunch of weaklings, shit if the Empire ever encounters a bunch of primitives we usually cut them a deal if we're in a good mood that is, however most of the time we just crush them and take over, after all only the strong will survive in any kind of conflict." LT.Hit-Man snarled as they stopped by a newly constructed freeway and he took enjoyment as he watched his victims jump at the sound of his voice. " I give this fic an eight out of ten blaster bolts, the combat between the carides and the wolfies could have been done better, more descriptive of the bloody free for all between them and I also feel that this fic is unfished.", " I mean how would the Fenari figuer into the dust up between the Feds and the Dominion as well as the conflict between the Maquis and the Cardassians, hell they would see that as a golden opportunity to grab some more planets or at lest scavenge some more tech from the ruined ships of the Feds and the Dominion." LT.Hit-Man chained his victims to a near by tree and unhooked 80 Knight from the rest of them. " Ok you coda choke'n yoda I'm giving you one chance to live." LT.Hit-Man snarled as he dragged 80 Knight to a part of the new freeway where fresh hot asphalt had been laid just a few minutes ago, the road construction crew looked over to where they saw one freaky looking stormtrooper was ripping off the shoes of one badly frightened looking man, they stopped there work to see what was going on, that was there last mistake. " Since this fan fic has much to do with wolves I'm going to set a pack of rabid wolves lose on you-" LT.Hit-Man pointed to where a cargo hauler droid was floating towards them with a cage full of snarling wolves that looked like they had been fed just enough bloody meat to keep them alive and from the white foam around there muzzles there was no doubt that they where rabid. " So if I where you I'd make like a flaming ewok running for a pool of water." LT.Hit-Man said to 80 Knight with a sadistic smile as the cargo droid came to a halt beside them, giving 80 Knight a long and unwanted look at the snarling wolves. " To help you in this race I'm going to give you a little something to help you along." LT.Hit-Man said as he slowly reached over and grabbed 80 Knight's left hand with his left hand and then ripped off the baby finger of 80 Knight's left hand, relishing the agony filled scream that the doomed troll let out. LT.Hit-Man threw the finger into the cage with the wolves in it as soon as the bloody digit landed in the cage the rabid wolves went insane as they fought over the bloody scrap of meat that had been given to them as LT.Hit-Man walked over to the cage door. 80 Knight looked at the manically grinning Sith lord as he stopped screaming as he clutched his maimed hand. " On your mark, get set and GO!" LT.Hit-Man shouted as he opened the cage and the mass of snarling rabid wolves lunged out of there cage towards 80 Knight who was running for his life not giving a flying fuck about the hot asphalt that was burning his beat feet as the howling of the wolves spurned him on. " FOR LOVE OF THE GODS HELP ME! " 80 Knight screamed as he ran towards the seven road crewers who at the sight of the slightly blood drenched man with a pack of snarling, rabid and pain and hunger maddened wolves bearing down on him tried to restart the asphalt layer in order to escape from that nightmarish sight. But alas it was to late from them all as the wolves lunged at the screaming 80 Knight who was slammed into the hot asphalt that seared his face as the starving wolves began to rip him into bloody gobbets of dying meat starting with his legs at the knees that where ripped from his body in a spray of blood that smoked and sizzled as it hit the hot asphalt as the dying troll tried to drag himself along the hot asphalt however his dying struggles where ended as the alpha male of the pack grabbed 80 Knight by the throat and with a might pull of it's jaws tore 80 Knight's head clean off. Well the seven road crewers lost all coherent thought and began to run in every direction to escape from the carnage that they had bore witness to and that is what sealed there fate. The rabid wolves had finished ripping 80 Knight into scraps of bloody troll bits when they spied the rapidly retreating road crewers, the alpha male let out a baleful howl that gave the other wolves of the pack pause from feasting on the remains of 80 Knight and they joined in the howling for a moment before the pack hunted down the seven road crewers and finished them off. " Well now it looks like that fan fic has gone to the dogs won't you say? " LT.Hit-Man said with a slightly off key chuckle as he walked over to the rest of his victims who had pissed themselves in fear. After making his way back to The Black Death with his victims in tow LT.Hit-Man was taking a leisurely drive though the city of Ubar and after an hour or so he stopped the van in front of an Imperial army base. " The next fic on the list is The Division by Mark Sheppard." LT.Hit-Man said with a truly manic smile as he lead his victims though the front gates of the Imp army base, wisely the two stormtroopers that where standing guard at the gates said nothing as they prayed that the LT would take no notice of them. " This fan fic is set on the Klingon world of Ikonos where the mighty Imperial army is engaged in the complete take over of the Klingon Empire's last free world but what really makes this fan fic stand out is the way Sheppard catches the grim and bloody business that is war, the depiction of the ruined world of Ikonos as the Klingons and the Imperial army are duking it out on reminds me of the battle at Stalingrad in the late 20th century earth juring world war two the ground combat is really well done, the main mission of the triple niners is to take over a klingon temple where the Sword of Kahless is being held, in this fic it was figured that if the sword was taken on combat the klingon moral would fall though the floor and that would be the end of the fighting." LT.Hit-Man said as he and his victims where walking over to a combat training zone for the Imperial army most of the Imp troopers backed away from the LT, dimly wondering what the hell was going on. After all it's not everyday that one would see a dark lord of the Sith stroll into an Imperial army base with a bunch of civvies in chains. " The two main characters in this fic are Corporal Mark Sheppard and Heinz Falkenhorst, these two are loony tunes I mean the " Recommend a closed casket funeral, though." crack for Timmothy Jones and the reason why cracks me up and the way Falkenhorst made some extra chump change was a nice touch." LT.Hit-Man told his victims as he watch a few new troopers run though there live fire exercises unfortunately for one of the rookie troopers he was a tat to slow in diving for a fox hole as mock combat zone was being liberally painted with frag grenades and was diced into raw hamburger. " CEASE FIRE YOU LOW DOWN WOOKIE KRIFFING SHIT HEADS!"LT.Hit-Man screamed at the top of his lungs while using his dark side powers to enhance his the loudness of his voice so that he would be heard over the din of weapons fire. Once the weapons fell silent he called over the rookie troopers and ordered them to fall in line behind him and is prisoners when suddenly the CO of the army base pulled up to them in a hover car. " What is the meaning of this!" the CO shouted at LT.Hit-Man, he was pissed no one and he meant no one fucked around with his troopers or his base. LT.Hit-Man simply smiled and told the CO that he was finding that the quality of training for Imperial army troopers was not up to his standards of what training should be, when the CO heard that he just about blew a gasket but before he could say another word LT.Hit-Man grabbed the CO and choke slammed him a few times to drive his point home. After the medics came and collected was left of the CO LT.Hit-Man with his prisoners and the squad or rookie troopers force marched to a mock city combat zone, unfortunately for some of the rookie troopers they where a little to slow in keeping pace with LT.Hit-Man and where shot down like dogs. Once they reached the city combat zone LT.Hit-Man began to read the rookie troopers the riot act big time. " You weakling scum!, if you can't move any faster then that you might as well stand out in the middle of a combat zone with a bull's eye paint on your heads!" he snarled at the rank of rookie troopers who where standing at attention. LT.Hit-Man let out an exasperated groan, " And to think I had to end up with a bunch of nancy boy panty wastes like the you." He then walked over to Promethues and unhooked him from the chains. " Ok you trollish shit stain I'm giving you one kriffing chance to live and by the force you had better make good use of it or I'm going to be really pissed off!" LT.Hit-Man snarled as he back handed Promethues a few times strangely enough Promethues managed to keep from soiling himself. LT.Hit-Man then ordered one of the rookie troopers to haul his ass over to the base's armory and fetch him a few things with the dire warning that if he failed to return with the proper items within fifteen minutes that he would take the trooper and impale him on the top of the base's flag pole as a warring to the rest of the troopers not to fail him. " Well what the kriff are you waiting for a gold plated invitation!?!?!" LT.Hit-Man snared as he flicked on his light scythe. Well that was all that was needed to sent the rookie trooper running to the base's armory that was about three and a half klicks from the city combat zone. Fourteen and three quarter minutes later the rookie trooper returned with the things that the LT had sent him to get, the trooper managed to give them to the LT before keeling over as he started to suffer from a heart attack, wisely none of the other troopers said anything or made a move to help the dying trooper. LT.Hit-Man quickly looked over the things that he had asked the trooper to get for him and he was pleased to see that the trooper had gotten the order right, " Medic tend to that trooper now." LT.Hit-Man said over his shoulder as he walked over to Promethues. The rookie combat medic in the squad fell out and began to threat the dying trooper, luckily for the stricken trooper fate was smiling on him and he would live to see th next day as the medic worked feverishly to save his live fearful that if the trooper died that the LT would be very annoyed that he had failed. LT.Hit-Man gave Promethues a klingon Bat'leth as well as a klingon style disrutor pistol with three power packs and six klingon frag grenades. " Ok shit heel this is the deal." LT.Hit-Man said to Promethues as he pointed towards the ruined cityscape. " If you can outwit and out fight these rookies you get to live, make no mistake about it they will kill you if they can so it's kill or be killed." The LT added as he lit out a stoogie, " You have two hours to make like a ghost before I sent the boys in to kick your sorry ass so GIT!" Promethues turn and ran for his life doubting very much that he would live though this hellish ordeal but he was determined to take a few of the rookie troopers with him before he bought it. Half an hour later LT.Hit-Man told the troopers to form up, after Promethues ran for his life he told the rookies to take five after they checked there weapons. " Ok this is the mission you will enter the city find and kill that kriff face troll know this I'll be heading into the city fifteen minutes after you leave to hunt him down and if I find any of you before you kill the troll I will kill you." LT.Hit-Man said in a rumbling voice as he march up and down in front of the squad of rookies. " If any of you live though this you will be put at the top of the list for membership into the Cleaners." that caused a few gasps from the rookies, The Cleaners where the top of the line elite fighting force of the Empire next to the Sith many beings have sought out membership into the Cleaners very few lived though the hellish training that it took to become one of the Cleaners but those that did survive the training enjoyed a respect that none of the other armed force of the Empire save for the Sith enjoyed but on the flip side the Cleaners got some of the worst missions of all but still to be one of the Cleaners was to live a very privileged life in the Imperial armed forces that drew hundreds of thousands of being across the Empire. " Further more those of you that live will be bumped up to the rank of sargent, regardless if you decide to join the Cleaners or not and your pay will be increased to five thousand credits per pay period." LT.Hit-Man added as he butted out his stoogie. " But if any of you think that you can not hack this mission there you might as well eat a blaster bolt here and now because your only options are to fight or die there is no other chose in the matter." LT.Hit-Man said in a deadly rumbling voice that made it clear to all of the rookie troopers that the shit had hit the fan for them all. as the loony Sith lord looked each other right in the eyes to see if there was any sign of weakness in there. To there credit not a one of the rookie troopers took there lives. " Hmmm there just might some Cleaner material here." LT.Hit-Man said with an approving smile that would send chills down a normal person's spine. " Very well let the hunt begin!" LT.Hit-Man barked in his most commanding voice that send the rookie troopers running into the city as the sound of a ticking clock echoed in there minds. After the last of the rookie troopers stormed into the city combat zone LT.Hit-Man spoke into the helmet mike of his Death armor. " Flight control this is LT.Hit-Man dark lord of the Sith I want a flight of Tie bombers to set up a bombing run on the city combat zone at 35 by 21 every half an hour until I order them to stand down is that clear?" LT.Hit-Man said with a hellishly evil snarl that had the unlucky flight controller nearly to the point of shitting himself. " Ummm Yes sir what kind of ordnance do you wanted the Tie bombers loaded with?" the flight controller squeaked as he raced to scramble the Tie bombers. LT.Hit-Man thought about that for a moment there with a chilling smile he spoke " I wanted a random loading of ordnance on every bombing run." as he took a drink from his flask that was clipped onto the belt of his Death armor, enjoying to ice cold water. " Ok sir is there any particular set of coordinates within the City combat zone that you want bombed?" the flight controller asked after he finished screaming his orders to the ordnance techs. " Nope I want a completely random bombing targets and bombing patterns, you will also ignore all Imperial transmissions from the target zone, fail me and it's your hide worm!" With that said LT.Hit-Man shut down the com link took another swing from his flask then opened another com line. " Is this the 21th heavy artillery division? this is LT.Hit-Man dark lord of the Sith I want an immediate bombardment of the city combat zone at 35 by 21 every ten minutes until I say to stop you will use random munitions and you will shell random positions within the city combat zone, ignore all Imperial transmission from the city combat zone, fail me and I launch a napalm shell so far up your sorry asses that you not need a match to have a ciggrra is that understood, good now get to it you low down maggots!" With those orders given LT.Hit-Man put on the helmet of his Death armor, activated his light scythe and made is way into the city with a loony grin on his scared face. Promethues had no idea of where he should hide or even if he should hide at all when suddenly there was a low wilssling sound that was growing steadily louder and louder and the burned out building some three hundred meters to his right exploded in a roaring, churning cloud of flaming debris. " FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKIDON'TWANTODIE! Promethues screamed like a whining bitch as he half jump half flinging himself into a crater as more and more shells rained down around him turning the landscape around him into a moonscape off in the distance a flight of tie bombers where dropping a few hundred napalm bombs that turned a large section of the northern most part of the city battle zone into a howling firestorm that consumed a few of the rookie troopers that had the bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The squad of rookie troopers thought it was a good idea to split up in order to increase there chances of finding the troll before the LT found them. It was a good idea but they had not counted on the shit storm of heavy bombardment that was plastering the city battle zone like a monsoon. LT.Hit-Man had caught sight of three of the rookie troopers and decided to hang back for a bit and tail them instead of killing them out right as he followed them he could since there fear that suddenly went though the roof as a brace of arty shells slammed into the ground in front of them killing two of the rookie troopers outright and sending the third one flying though the air with a terrified scream that ended when he hit the ground. LT.Hit-Man walked over to where the trooper had landed and saw that he was alive, " Looks like you crapped out there bubba." he said to the barely conscious trooper before he bought his light scythe crashing down on the doomed rookie and rip his soul from his dying body. When suddenly there was a low wilsling that was growing louder and louder with each passing second, LT.Hit-Man would have been turned into mincemeat had he been a few seconds slower as he took off from where he had offed the rookie. " Hot damm! " LT.Hit-Man thought to himself as the arty shells crashed down around him, he was starting to enjoy himself, it had been a long time since he had been in the bloody game of iron, the random death that would strike down an unlucky combatant in so many and veryed ways, the fear and madness as battle lust washed over all the combatants as they fought for there lives with haltered. With an inhuman howl ripped from his lips the LT stalked off after the rookie troopers as shells continued to rain down though out the city combat zone. " BLAST THAT TROLL SCUM! " one of the rookie troopers yelled to the other troopers that where with him as he saw Promethues's head stick up from the crater that he had dived into. " OH FUCK! " Promethues yelped as he dove back into the crater as a barrage of blaster bolts screamed over the lip of the crater that where quickly followed by the sound of foot falls from the charging rookie troopers, " Suck the fuck on this assholes! " Promethues muttered to himself as he pulled the pin from one of the klingon frag grenade with hands that where shaking so badly the he nearly dropped the damm grenade in his lap and threw it over the edge of the crater. " GRENADE! " one of the rookie troopers screamed a split second before the frag cooked off, shredding two of the unlucky troopers before Promethues whipped the klingon disruptor up and started blasting away over the lip of the crater and nailing the third trooper by dumb luck as he dove for cover behind some flaming rubble of a bombed out building, the last rookie trooper saw Promethues's hand and was about to blast it off when there was a another low wistling sound of an incoming shell and he dove into a pile of premacret rubble as a cluster round cooked off sending it's deadly payload around the area and when the cluster munitions cooked off the entire bombed out block of the city combat zone was covered in a thick pall of itch gas. Luckily for the rookie trooper his stormtrooper armor spared him from the effects of the itch gas, unluckily for Promethues he had no such armor and huge weeping pustules began to brake out across his skin. As Promethues started to scream in agony the surviving trooper creeped up to the edge of the crater as a wind started to blow the itch gas away from him and his prey, once the trooper got to the edge of the crater he saw that the troll that he had been sent to hunt down had been rendered harmless due to the itch gas he stood up and took careful aim at the trashing troll's head. " Who's your daddy?" the trooper said with a cocky tone of voice as his finger tightened around the trigger safe in the knowledge that there was no escape for the doomed troll. " I'm your daddy!" the rookie trooper heard from behind him, the last thing he saw as he turned to look behind him was a blur of black light then nothing. Promethues knew that if he did not get out of the gas filled crater he was dead meat as his lungs started to burn in hellish agony as the itch gas started to work them. As he crawled up towards the edge of the crater something wet hit him and though his half blind eyes he could barely make out the two half of one of the rookie stormtroopers fall past him into the gas filled crater. Suddenly Promethues felt something clamp around his face and a strange sensation of flying though the air for a few moments as what ever grabbed him was playing pressure to his face, causing the pus filled boils on his face to rupture. " I can't see why your being so sore at being in one of my fan fic reviews, most beings would give there left nut, ovary or what ever to be in one of my fan fic reviews." LT.Hit-Man said to the weakly struggling Promethues as he stabbed the troll with a long needle tough the rib cage and injecting Promethues with a load of bacta and then dropping him to the ground. After a few moments of pain Promethues was starting to feel a little better so much so that he could clearly see LT.Hit-Man standing over him with a sadistic smile on his scared face as his eyes healed. " Don't worry shit head I'm not going to kill you yet I still have need of you." LT.Hit-Man said as he grabbed Promethues by the left ankle with his left hand and hosted him into the air. Before Promethues could say or do anything LT.Hit-Man slammed his cybernetic fist into and though Promethues's left kneecap in a spray of splintered bone shredded flesh and spraying blood that ripped a weak, rasping scream from Promethues's tortured lungs. LT.Hit-Man dropped the troll to the battle scared ground artillery shells screamed over head and watched for a few moments as Promethues writhed on the ground holding his ruined left leg. " I just get my kicks from a good fan fic review." LT.Hit-Man said with mirth as he booted Promethues in the right kneecap and turning it into a bloody pulp before he dropped a knee on the troll's right shoulder and shattering it, causing Promethues to scream even more. LT.Hit-Man shook his head at the pitiful sight before him then he reached for something on his Death armor's belt and leaned over Promethues. " Oh do shut the kriff up if there's one thing that really pisses me off it's a whiner." The last three members of the squad of rookie stormtroopers dropped to the ground as a flight of tie bombers streaked over head, dropping there deadly payload of thermal detonators that blasted one of the rookies into atoms after a long ten minutes of mind numbing terror the Tie bombers flew off leaving the last two rookie troopers to thank the gods that they where still alive as they ran from there cover in hopes of finding the troll and killing him. " THERE HE IS LET'S GET HIM! " one of the rookie troopers shouted as they saw the mangled body of Promethues laying face down and covered in blood among the bodies of there dead squad mates. " Hold it man this could be a trap." the other rookie trooper told his eager squad mate as cold fear gripped there hearts, so they took cover and began to scan there surroundings for any hint that the dreaded Sith lord was in the area. After a few long and tense moments the two rookies made there was towards Promethues, hoping that the troll was still alive because they knew that if he was dead so where they, when they got with in about a foot or so of the troll they saw Promethues starting to stir they dared to allow themselves the luxury of hope that they would make it out of this mess alive. " Ok fuck nuts we have you now!" one of the rookie troopers said as he reached out and flipped the maimed Promethues over, the sudden look of terror on there faces mimicked the look of terror on Promethues's mangled face as the thermal detonator that had been set on a dead man's switch popped out of Promethues's busted mouth. LT.Hit-Man watched as the mushroom cloud rose into the sky with a cruel smile on his scared face and turned towards the hovering holo-recorder, " I had hopes for those two but it looks like the Cleaners are not going to be getting any new troops anytime soon if the training of rookies troopers does not improve drastically." he said with a slight sigh. " But I always said that training missions are such a blast." then LT.Hit-Man turned and started to hike back to where he had left the other trolls chained up with the hovering holo-recorder in tow as visions of pain death and terror danced in his warped mind. -- " Remember only you can prevent canablistic murder, feed your local Sith Lord today." LT.Hit-Man