LT.Hit-Man put his modified Tie Defender "The 
Fearmeister" on auto-pilot as he made his way into the 
small galley for a snack.

        "The Fearmeister" had an extended hull behind the 
command ball of the standard TIE Defender that extended out 
to two meters. In the extended hull, LT.Hit-Man had made 
room for a quarter ton of weapons and equipment, even a 
small cot, galley and bathroom as well as a single bacta 
tank and med droid.

        The weapons lockers were set flush into the walls, 
ceiling and floor of the extended hull, but the pride and 
joy of this fine ship was the micro cloaking device that 
LT.Hit-Man had "liberated" from the dead Emperor's private 
shuttle.

        LT.Hit-Man smiled as he sat down to enjoy a hot cup 
of chicken broth and some mustard-dipped pretzels  (one of 
the few things that made being in this Sith-forsaken galaxy 
bearable). He thought back to the long hours that he had 
spent in the hangar bay that he had taken for his personal 
use under personal security measures of his own design. As 
LT.Hit-Man was enjoying his snack, he began to think back 
to the time he had been working on "The Fearmeister". 

********** 

        "Look, hon, I need some time to myself. I have a 
lot on my mind. Besides, I'm working on something that 
might help the Empire in it's war to clean our new 
territories," Voltrick said to his wife as he hugged her 
and stole a quick kiss.  Daala looked at her husband as he 
started talking with their adoptive son. She knew that this 
was not going to be good, but something in her heart told 
her this was the way things had to be, so she steeled 
herself as best as she could for what was to come. 

        He had not even allowed his wife Grand Admiral 
Daala, his adoptive son Spike, or any of the others that he 
had served with when they came to lay claim to the 
Federation's galaxy in the name of the Empire inside of the 
bay.

        Daala and his son understood that he needed some 
time to himself after he had been jumped by the Borg. 
Sheppard and his staff understood the reasons why to a 
lesser extent after he had taken over the main hangar bay 
of the SSD Terminus. Sheppard had told him that he had 
better finish up whatever he was doing and fast, but 
LT.HIT-MAN had told Sheppard to blow it out his ass. For a 
few moments, LT.Hit-Man thought Sheppard was going to order 
the sealed blast doors to the hanger bay cut open. If he 
had he and his men would have found themselves staring down 
the barrels of the twelve fully automated E-Webs that he 
had set up to cover the doors. If they had some how gotten 
through that they would have been finished off by the traps 
that LT.Hit-Man had personally set up in the hangar bay.

        "The Borg," LT.Hit-Man muttered as he finished his 
broth. It seems that after their first encounter with the 
Empire, the Borg got a wake up call and they started to 
show a rudimentary understanding of tactics. This took the 
Empire by surprise; as the battle raged on, the Borg 
adapted to the Imperial style of war faster then they had 
expected. Truly, the Borg were now a real terror to behold.

        LT.Hit-Man's smile grew as he thought about how the 
Borg wanted him so badly. After he had interrogated a 
captured Borg drone, he, along with Sheppard who wanted to 
hear the info from the Borg drone as it was crushed from it 
by LT.Hit-Man, were shocked that the Borg considered 
LT.Hit-Man to be the most dangerous being they had even 
encountered. He was to be assimilated at all costs.

        After what was left of the Borg drone was sent to 
the boys and girls in R&D, Sheppard called LT.HIT-MAN and 
Sheppard's personal staff to an emergency briefing. There 
he found out to his surprise that several on the Empire's 
newly conquered sectors had fallen to the Borg.

        LT.Hit-Man knew that there was a good chance that 
the Empire just might fall to the changed Borg. The mental 
image of his wife and son, neither living nor dead, but a 
bastardized parody of living beings after the Borg had 
gotten a hold of them. His mind filled with rage, a rage so 
powerful that he had crushed the arms of the chair that he 
was sitting at without realizing it. It also filled his 
mind with the unfamiliar feeling of cold, unreasoning fear.

        Daala saw that her husband was just sitting there, 
as still as death. She reached over and put a reassuring 
hand on his shoulder. This seemed to snap him out of 
whatever state of thought he was in, and he dropped the 
splintered remains of the chair's arms and slowly got to 
his feet. 

        Sheppard stopped talking when he saw LT.Hit-Man get 
to his feet and from the cold look in his human eye, he 
knew that this was not going to be good. "Ahh, LT.Hit-Man 
is there something you want to say?" he asked the grim 
cyborg, hoping that he would answer with his mouth and not 
his fists. 

        "Come with me," was all he said as he walked out of 
the briefing room, leaving them to wonder just what the 
hell this madman was up to. Sheppard look over to Admiral 
Daala, who just shot him a "Kriffed if I know" look. 
Sheppard had a feeling that it might be a good idea to 
follow LT.Hit-Man and see what he was up to. One by one 
they filed out of the briefing room and caught up with 
LT.Hit-Man. 

        "Just what are you doing?" Sheppard asked the 
strangely tense LT.Hit-Man as he fought down his fear at 
what the grim man was going to say. 

        "Well, boss, it looks like the Borg are handing us 
our asses on a silver platter, so I think that a fast raid 
on the Borg homeworld is in order," he said as the got into 
a turbolift. 

        Sheppard was stunned by LT.Hit-Man's foolish 
statement and he started to read LT.Hit-Man the riot act. 

        "Don't be stupid. We would never be able to get 
anywhere near the Borg homeworld before we were detected, 
and if we did, our fleet would suffer catastrophic losses. 
Sorry, but that's not an option for us," Sheppard said as 
they got out of the turbolift. There was a grim smile on 
LT.Hit-Man's scarred face that started to make Sheppard 
nauseated. 

        "You and your fleet can't do it, but I can," 
LT.Hit-Man said as they made their way to the hanger bay 
that LT.Hit-Man taken over. 

        "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU RANTING ABOUT!" Sheppard 
yelled. He was no mood for this madman's games. They were 
facing the very real possibility that they were going to be 
put down for the count by the Borg and it had him really 
freaked out. 

        LT.Hit-Man turned his head and looked at Sheppard, 
smiled, and opened the blast doors of the hangar bay and 
walked in with out a word. Sheppard and the rest of his 
staff stood there for a second before they followed him in, 
each one of them wondering if they were going to live 
through this before they faced the Borg. Each of them knew 
that they were too far into what was transpiring to back 
out now. 

        "Grand Admiral Sheepred, this is how I'm going to 
get to the Borg homeworld undetected," LT.Hit-Man said as 
he pointed to "The Fearmeister" and his smile grew as he 
saw the puzzled look on Sheppard's face. 

        "So what's the big deal?" Sheppard said in a raspy 
voice. He hated when LT.Hit-Man pulled this kind of 
cryptic, high-handed shit. Trying to get a straight answer 
of LT.Hit-Man when he was in one of his moods was like 
trying to get a Hutt to go straight: almost impossible. 

        "Well, sir, you remember that micro cloaking device 
I brought with me when I joined up with you?" LT.Hit-Man 
asked and he saw Sheppard's jaw hit the floor in surprised 
wonder. He allowed himself the luxury of a small laugh. 

        "But how?" Sheppard asked. When LT.Hit-Man first 
gave him the micro cloaking device, he just about kissed 
the loony LT. He knew that if they could get past the 
double blind problem of the cloaking device, their war to 
take over this new galaxy would be over sooner then 
expected. Even more, once they had this galaxy under their 
fist, the cloaking device would give them a decisive edge 
over the New Republic when they went back home. 

        But alas, after months of endless testing, they 
could not solve the problem and Sheppard ordered the 
cloaking device stripped down for any useable parts and 
that was that was the end of it. 

        "Well, Sheepred, I knew the problem with the 
cloaking device could be overcome, so I countermanded your 
orders to scrap it," LT.Hit-Man said, enjoying to look of 
shock on Sheppard's face. Shock that he had dared to go 
against his orders and the outrage at LT.Hit-Man's new 
nickname for him. After all, fair was fair. Sheppard had 
given him a nickname so LT.Hit-Man decided to return the 
favor. 

        LT.Hit-Man could see that Sheppard was about to pop 
his top, so he handed him a data pad in order to calm him 
down. "Here are the complete technical details of the 
modded cloaking device," he said as he watched Sheppard's 
eyes light up, much like a kid who was in a sweets store 
with a pocket full of credits. All was forgiven, and even 
if all was not forgiven, he'd like to see Sheppard try to 
discipline him. 

        "Phong, take this and get the R&D teams working on 
it, top priority," Sheppard said as he handed Phong the 
data pad. Everyone smiled as they saw Phong's eyes light 
up, much like Sheppard's had when he was given the data 
pad. 

        But without warning Sheppard's mood changed to a 
darkly somber one.  "But how are you going to take the Borg 
out all by yourself? It just can't be done." 

        LT.Hit-Man gave them a cold, hard stare that turned 
their blood to ice water as he spoke, "Even though the Borg 
are start to change their battlefield strategy, they are 
still a collective. From what I have been able to make out 
of our intell reports about the Borg, the queen is their 
weak point. Cut off the head and the body dies."  LT.Hit-
Man looked them over and added, "The Borg want me. They 
fear me and I have a personal score to settle with them."

        Sheppard nodded his head as he thought back to the 
time that the Borg had assimilated Admiral Daala. LT.Hit-
Man was in the battle for the Federation's HQ when it had 
happened. Somehow he knew what had happened and he ran from 
the field of battle, hijacked a shuttle and came back to 
the _Revenger_. 

        When Sheppard heard about LT.Hit-Man going AWOL, 
he, along with a full platoon of stormtroopers, headed down 
to the _Revenger's_ hangar bay where they found him loading 
his shuttle with all sorts of weapons. Sheppard was about 
to ask him just what the hell was going on, but from the 
look that he had in his human eye as well as the mangled 
remains of the forty crewers and stormtroopers who had 
gotten in his way, he knew that trying to stop the out-of-
control cyborg was a sure ticket to the afterlife. Wisely, 
they let him go. 

        A week later, LT.Hit-Man returned to the _Revenger_ 
with the Borged Admiral Daala. The look of horror, pain and 
fear along with the a single tear, a tear of blood was on 
his face, then all that changed to a soul-distorting hate 
as he wiped away that tear. The Borg had made their last 
mistake. 

        As LT.Hit-Man sat in the med bay where the med 
droids and med tech worked around the clock to save Admiral 
Daala's life as the Borg nano-probes slowly tore Admiral 
Daala from the inside out. 

        Sheppard had once walked into the med bay to see 
what was going on with the two of them, but when he saw the 
cold lifeless face of LT.Hit-Man he began to fear for his 
life. But when he saw the look in his human eye, a look 
that no words could describe, that was the moment he truly 
feared LT.Hit-Man. Because, from that look, he knew that 
LT.Hit-Man was close to the edge of insanity and if Admiral 
Daala should die, everyone, Imperial, Federation, Rebel, 
Borg, whatever would die at the hands of the out-of-control 
LT.Hit-Man. 

        Three long, terror-filled weeks later the med-techs 
told LT.Hit-Man that the woman he loved would live. After 
they had told him that, he told everyone, including the 
droid, to leave the two of them alone. They left thankful 
to whatever God there was that they had lived through this 
mess then went and told Sheppard the good news. Sheppard in 
turn told the legion of stormtroopers who had been on stand 
by to try to take down LT.Hit-Man if Admiral Daala had died 
to stand down. 

        Two days later Sheppard was getting ready to tear 
into LT.Hit-Man for going AWOL, but then he and Admiral 
Daala walked into his briefing room and asked him, as Grand 
Admiral, to marry the two of them. 

        "Huh?" Was all Sheppard could say, and they told 
him again that they wanted him to marry them. 

        Sheppard fought to keep a straight face. Inside he 
was smiling like a loon because he was happy for the two of 
them, happy that they finally came and admitted what they 
had felt for each other. For months it was well known that 
the two had feelings for each other and for months they had 
been playing games with each other; a look here, an off-
handed comment there. Although they did not see what was 
happening between them, everyone else could see what was 
going on. However, no one dared to voice their thoughts on 
this matter after one crewman had said something about 
LT.Hit-Man and Admiral Daala flirting with each other. The 
poor S.O.B. found himself laying on the deck, half blacked 
out after LT.Hit-Man put a Force choke on him, saying that 
he had better stow that shit. That he and Admiral Daala had 
nothing more then a professional relationship going, then 
the poor dumb officer fell unconscious. 

        When the crewer came to, he found himself looking 
right into the cold eyes of Admiral Daala, who told the 
crewer as she summarily beat the living shit out of him 
that if she ever heard any kind of rumor that there was 
something going on between her and LT.Hit-Man, what she 
would do to him would make LT.Hit-Man look like a drunken 
Jawa. She broke a rib after each of her words. Once she was 
done she shot a withering glare at the rest of the crewers 
that had the misfortune of being there when Admiral Daala 
put the beatdown of the motor mouth crewer before she 
stormed off to her quarters. She then had herself a few 
strong drinks as the pain of losing Grand Moff Tarkin to 
the rebel scum back home came back to haunt her. 

        However, there was one rumor that was spoken of in 
hushed whispers of a less-than-professional encounter 
between the two of them on DS-9 when she and LT.Hit-Man had 
been sent there by Sheppard to scout out the Federation. 

        The next day the newly promoted Grand Admiral and 
the lone LT were married. 

        Sheppard snapped himself out of his stroll down 
memory lane. He was about to tell LT.Hit-Man to forget it; 
what he was suggesting could not be done. But when he saw 
the look in LT.Hit-Man's human eye, he knew there was no 
way that LT.Hit-Man was going to listen to anyone. 

        "Do you really think you can do it? "Sheppard 
asked, he knew that LT.Hit-Man was not overconfident about 
himself or his skills, skill that had been honed to a 
razor's edge, a well used razor's edge from the long years 
of working for the Emperor as the Emperor's left hand of 
death.  But still, one man against a whole planetful of 
crazy cyborgs it did not seem likely LT.Hit-Man would be 
coming back from this mission alive, or worse, he would 
assimilated by the Borg. 

        Sheppard shivered at that thought, but when he 
heard LT.Hit-Man say, "Consider the bitch muzzled!" in a 
voice so low and menacing that it made Darth Vader sound 
like a pre-pubescent school girl in comparison, Sheppard 
and the rest of his command staff knew that whether LT.Hit-
Man would be coming home or if he died, the Borg would not 
live to see the next day. 

********** 

        LT.Hit-Man sat back down at the controls of "The 
Fearmeister" as it hurtled through hyperspace, tired of 
just sitting around waiting to pop out of hyperspace close 
to the Borg homeworld. LT.Hit-Man pulled out a data pad, 
and as he started to read it, a truly nasty idea began to 
form in his mind. "Perhaps the time has come for me to 
introduce the concept of a fan fic review to the Borg." 
LT.Hit-Man started to laugh at the thought of the Borg as 
he rounded them up for a fan fic review. 

        But alas fate was not going to be kind to LT.Hit-
Man.

         LT.Hit-Man was napping when "The Fearmeister" 
started to pitch and yaw wildly. He was thrown to the 
floor, landing face first. His nose exploded in a spray of 
blood as it broke. 

        "WHAT THE KRIFF?" he snarled, clawing his way back 
into the pilot's chair. He looked out of the window and 
gone was the normally long white streaks of light that one 
would normally see in hyperspace. All around him was blood 
red space covered with black blotches. 

        LT.Hit-Man looked at his nav comp and all he saw 
was a blank screen. With a vile cruse he started to wrestle 
with the flight stick of "The Fearmeister". As LT.Hit-Man 
fought to get his ship under control the ship was rocked by 
a hyperspace shockwave that sent the ship spinning out of 
control. The flight systems began to spark out and fail, 
filling the flight cabin with a thick acrid smoke. 

        LT.Hit-Man reached out to shut down the hyperspace 
jump systems when suddenly he was thrown clear across the 
small ship, hitting his head on the small galley table. "Oh 
kriff," was his last thought before darkness claimed him. 

**********

        LT.Hit-Man woke up to see the med droid hovering 
over him with a long needle filled with bacta. He tried to 
get to his feet but he found that he could not move. 

        "Lie still, you have received quite a bad blow to 
your head. Your prosthetic legs have been severely damaged. 
However, they can be repaired," the med droid told him as 
it finished injecting him with the bacta. 

        "Just bloody wonderful. What the hell happened?" 
LT.Hit-Man snarled as he closed his eyes to stop the 
pounding in his head.

        "Well, cerebral hemorrhaging certainly hasn't done 
anything to improve your already cheerful personality," the 
med droid quipped as it started to repair his left leg. The 
droid, as it turned out, happened to have a cutting and 
ever-so upbeat personality and bedside manner that it made 
the Voyager's EMH look timid in comparison, much to LT.Hit-
Man's growing annoyance. 

        "Where the hell are we?" he asked, ignoring the 
med-droid's jab. Some in the medical division would pay 
dearly for this outrage. 

        The med-droid finished with the left leg and began 
to work on the right. "Damn it, I am a med-droid not a 
navigator, so I don't know. Perhaps you want me to shove a 
broom up my backside and sweep up the ship like a valet 
droid?" 

        LT.Hit-Man fought down the urge to rip the droid 
into bits right then and there. He knew that he need it, 
but he was not going to let this droid smart mouth him, 
hell no! 

        "If your bed side manner does not improve, I will 
reprogram you with something large and heavy, do we have an 
understanding?" LT.Hit-Man said in a quite yet menacing 
voice that shook the droid to its solenoids.  

        "YES SIR!" the med-droid squeaked as it just about 
vented it's lubricants all over the floor. 

        LT.Hit-Man laid back and let the droid finish 
repairing his right leg. 

        When he could sit up without feeling like his guts 
were making a jump to lightspeed, LT.Hit-Man walked over to 
the window of his ship and looked out to see that he was in 
orbit of a moon. With a curse on his lips, he began to take 
stock of the ship. Once that was done, he began to repair 
what was busted up, starting with the nav computer. 

        An hour later he fired up the nav computer. After 
it was finished rebooting, he started to look over its 
readouts. "Son of a bitch!" he snarled as he found out for 
the nav computer's readouts that he was in orbit of the 
moon that was circling around the planet Earth. He started 
to repair the comm system. "Well, at least I'll be able to 
get a hold of one of our ships," he thought to himself, 
knowing that there was a small fleet around the conquered 
Earth before he left on his ill-fated mission to destroy 
the Borg. 

        With the comm system repaired, he got on the horn. 
"To any Imperial ship, this is LT.Hit-Man requesting a pick 
up. My engines are out and my life support is failing. 
Respond, damn it."  But when he received the following 
transmission, "Tonight on your Federation station," he just 
about went through the roof and he started to monitor all 
the comm traffic as he began to repair his ship's engines. 

        Once they were repaired he activated the cloaking 
device and made his way Earth side. There was something too 
screwy for his liking. As LT.Hit-Man landed his ship near 
an abandoned factory of some kind, his apprehension started 
to grow. He cracked the hatch and got a whiff of smoggy 
air. "Man, I've got a bad feeling about this mission," he 
muttered to himself as he put this stormtrooper helmet on 
and started skulking through the sewers, starting to gather 
some info about the city he was in. 

        As he listened to what the people above him were 
saying LT.Hit-Man began to get the feeling that he was no 
longer in his own time. He heard a few people speaking. "So 
are you going to the Federation convention?" a girl asked a 
guy she was standing arm in arm with. "Yep, I'll be there 
armed with phaser and combadge," the man said as he leaned 
over to stole a quick kiss from the girl on his arm, 
neither of them knowing the hell that was about to rock the 
city of LA 

**********

        "Ahh, sir?" the Star Wars convention is in the next 
building," a pimply face teenage boy said as he saw the 
tall person in a cheap-looking set of stormtrooper armor. 
When the tall man just stood there looking around, the boy 
got a strange and unnerved feeling in the pit of his guts. 

        LT.Hit-Man was shocked to see the sea of Federation 
personnel, aliens and other people milling around as they 
lined up to enter the huge building through it's single 
entrance. All the while he was waiting to enter the 
Federation convention, LT.Hit-Man began planning a tactical 
assault on the Federation convention, mistaking this 
gathering as the birth of the Federation. He was hoping 
that by taking out as many Feds as he could that the birth 
of the Federation would be aborted, so that when the Empire 
came to this pissant galaxy they would have an even easier 
time of conquering it then they had the first time around.

        LT.Hit-Man was about to kill the boy where he 
stood. He could feel the contempt pouring off the pencil-
neck geek and it took all of his will power not to waste 
him right then and there. What, might you ask, could be the 
reason LT.Hit-Man would show such restraint? 

        "Are they still here?" LT.Hit-Man said in a calm 
voice that hid the raging firestorm of hate within him as 
he pointed at a cardboard cutout with his E-11. 

        The pimply-faced boy (Think of the pimply-faced 
dork off of the Simpsons, voice and all) looked behind him 
for the umpteenth time, and every time he did so he felt a 
slight throbbing between his legs as he spied the pic of 
Neelix. After a few seconds of looking at the cutout, a few 
seconds longer than he should have, the boy turned to face 
our lovable if slightly loony defender of the Empire. "You 
just missed them, sir. They left five minutes ago," the boy 
rasped nasally as he felt a slightly warm and sticky 
feeling between his legs as his thoughts turn back to 
Neelix. 

        LT.Hit-Man let out a snarl. "Damn this sucks." He 
looked down at the boy, who was just staring at him. "Ah 
well, a missed opportunity, but I think I can do some 
serious harm to the Federation," he thought as he started 
to walk into the convention. 

        Meanwhile in the men's room of the Federation 
convention...

        "SUCK HARDER, YOU HONORLESS SON OF A TARG!!!!" A 
gruff male voice yelled, followed by a loud cracking sound, 
then a high-pitched scream. 

        Sean Collins let out a loud gasp as Anton "Elim 
Garak" Polinger sucked his cock harder. Sean and Anton had 
been ardent lovers and rabid trekkies for years, and after 
watching an episode of DS-9 (The one where Garak and Worf 
started to get chummy in and alternate universe). Sean, 
Anton's Klingon lover (Well, a guy dressed in a lame 
Klingon outfit complete with head bumps), had Anton dress 
up as his Klingon love slave. They thought it would be fun 
to go like this to the Federation convention. 

        A few guys walked into the men's room where Anton 
and Sean were performing the Klingon dick-to-mouth meld. 
They guys did not pay them any attention as they relieved 
themselves; after all, this is LA. But then, Sean brutally 
shoved his Klingon pain stick up Anton's ass and flipped 
out the taser he had built into the end of it, deep-frying 
Anton's prostate. Hearing Anton lovingly tortured shrieks, 
the men finished relieving themselves as fast as they 
could, then they quickly jetted out of the men's room, 
Anton's screams echoing in their ears.

        A few minutes later Sean blew his load all over 
Anton's puffy face. After shoving a kotex up Anton's ass to 
stop the bleeding, they went down to the convention 
classroom for Treknobabble 101. Sean lead Anton on a length 
of chain that was welded to the heave steel collar that was 
around Anton's neck. 

**********

        "Ahh, sir, you didn't pay the door fee. SECURITY!" 
the boy yelled as the guy in the stormtrooper armor walked 
passed him. Two burly men stepped in front of LT.Hit-Man, 
blocking his way, their arms crossed over their chests, and 
a nasty look in their eyes that would have made most people 
back down, but that just made LT.Hit-Man all the more 
annoyed. 

        "You're right, how thoughtless of me," LT.Hit-Man 
in a condescending voice as he pointed his E-11at the 
teenage boy who was just smirking at him. 

        "Yah, right, a-" the pimply faced teenage boy was 
about to tell the man who was pointing his toy E-11 at him, 
when suddenly his words died off - as did he - when the 
fully functional E-11 spat out a blaster bolt that slammed 
into the boy's chest, flash frying his lungs as his thorax 
was ripped apart. 

        LT.Hit-Man slowly reached up and removed his 
stormtrooper helmet as the stunned crowd watched in horror 
as the boy's blacked corpse slumped to the floor, "Run!" 
LT.Hit-Man snarled as he mentally flicked on the laser 
sight that was built into his cybernetic eye, his scarred 
face a blank lifeless mask of coldness. 

        Then he shot the two fleeing security men as the 
crowed started to stamped back out the way they came, 
crushing the slower members of the crowed under their fear 
driven feet. 

        LT.Hit-Man then got to work as he dug out some 
things from his stormtrooper's backpack.

********** 

[Back Home] 

        Grand Admiral Daala was hovering over the toilet as 
her guts were being ripped apart by the nausea she felt 
when she got up that morning, without warning she threw up 
noisily as her trembling hands grabbed the sides of the 
toilet. 

        When she felt that her guts were not going to try 
and crawl out of her body she flushed the toilet and slowly 
made her way to the sink as splashed some cold water on her 
pale face. 

        "Damn it what is wrong with me?" Daala snarled as 
she walked out of the bathroom, thankfully it was her day 
off because she doubted that she would be able to handle 
and kind of assignments at this point in time. 

        As she was walking towards the med-lab she ran into 
Spike as he was heading back to their quarter's to get 
dressed up for his first date "Hi mom are you OK?" Spike 
asked when he saw who sickly looking his adoptive mother 
was as fear began to worm it's way into his soul. 

        "I'm OK son, just feeling a little under the 
weather," Daala told Spike as fear began to eat away at her 
mind. This all started after she had returned to the 
Imperial bio-weapons lab on Terfa prime, after LT.Hit-Man 
left to take out the Borg queen. GA.Sheppard had ordered 
Daala to go to Terfa prime to pick up a supply of bio-toxin 
that the Empire was going to unleash into Species 8472's 
watery domain. Once the bio-toxin was released the Empire 
would wait for Species 8472's to sue for peace with the 
Empire before they would give them the counter agent. But 
should Species 8472 attack them after they had gained it, 
the Empire would release a different kind of bio-toxin and 
they would sit back and watch the eradication of Species 
8472. 

        Daala was wondering if she had picked up something 
from the bio-weapons lab as she oversaw the loading of the 
bio-toxin. That thought scared her, but when she saw the 
look of concern on Spike's face she beat down her fear and 
asked how was his lessons with Wayne Poe were coming along. 

        Spike gave his adoptive mother the once over and 
decided to play it cool. Lord Poe is pleased that I am 
doing well with my lessons, so much so that he gave me the 
day off," Spike said with a smile. It had been a long six 
years for him since he and his family had been spared from 
LT.Hit-Man's fan fic review, six years that were marked 
with triumph and despair. 

        After LT.Hit-Man had begun young Spike's training 
in the ways of the Sith, Spike had studied hard and was 
able to pick up on the teachings of the Sith with relative 
ease. But after he had given coffee to the clone of Darth 
Maul that LT.Hit-Man had been growing and seeing look of 
rage on his adoptive dad's face he thought he was a goner. 

        Luckily it had worked out for the best. The 
caffeine-crazed clone had proven to be an effective terror 
weapon as was demonstrated on the Klingon homeworld. Two 
legions of crazed lightsaber-wielding Darth Mauls had 
overran the heavy fortifications that the Klingons had set 
up, but it had been prohibitively expensive to keep the 
clones in stasis, each one of them under close medical 
supervision, so the project was scrapped. 

        LT.Hit-Man had forgiven the boy for his youthful 
indiscretion but the time had come for Spike to complete 
his training under the supervision of Lord Wayne Poe. 

        As the first month of training under Poe was coming 
to an end, Spike's real family had been killed in a tragic 
airspeeder crash.  Spike had kept a calm cool air about 
him, but he was busted up badly on the inside, so much so 
that he nearly lost his mind as the dark side saw a 
weakness to exploit. Somehow, he managed to get his wits 
about him and carry on with his training. He had turned to 
LT.Hit-Man and GA.Daala who had been his adoptive family 
and claimed them as his blood kin, much to their surprise 
and delight. 

        Daala saw the look of concern in Spike's eyes and 
she told him that she would be OK.  "Behave yourself at 
Jenny's place," she said as she walked down the hall. Ever 
since Spike had met a young lady by the name of Jenny 
Talya, Spike had been a bit more cheerful and outgoing than 
he had been for the last year or so. When she and LT.Hit-
Man found out that Spike was seeing her they had a long 
talk about the birds and the bees. 

        It had been a difficult talk at first. Neither she 
nor LT.Hit-Man had ever considered a family, so when 
LT.Hit-Man took Spike in they got a quick lesson in 
parenthood, but it was LT.Hit-Man who explained it to the 
young boy. Daala had felt her face flush a few times as her 
husband got into really graphic detail on the matter of 
sex. 

        After he was done she took him by the arm and they 
started to talk. 

        "Don't you think that was a little too 
descriptive?" she asked him as she looked him over, trying 
to figure out where his head was at, but she could not read 
his blank face. 

        "No, I don't. When my mother was raising me, the 
moment she knew that I was interested in girls, she sat me 
down and laid it all out on the line, just like I did with 
Spike. Look at me, I turned out all right, not like some 
freaked out pervert," LT.Hit-Man said as he stripped out of 
his stormtrooper armor and got ready to settle down for the 
night. 

        Daala just shot him a sly stare. "And what was all 
that about with the licorice whips on DS-9?" she asked as 
she shucked out of her uniform, crawled up behind her 
husband and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

        "That, my dear, was a sample demonstration of my 
vast culinary skills," he said as he turned to face her, 
seeing the look in her eyes that said "The 'cuda is hungry 
tonight."

        Daala snickered. "Yah, right, ya perv." She gave 
him a shot in the ribs. 

        "Oh ho, you want to play rough, eh?" LT.Hit-Man 
said as he wrestled her to the bed. "Two can play that 
game," he said before he kissed her deeply. 

        "LIGHTS!" was all Daala said before they had a long 
heart to heart that last into the wee hours of the morning. 

**********

        Spike told his mom that he would be spending the 
night at Jenny's place and that if she need him to give him 
a shout. "I'll be fine, you just be good down there. If you 
can't be good, then be careful, and if you can't do that, 
be lucky," she said with a smile as she saw Spike grinning 
like a loon. 

        "Don't worry, mom. I'm not a hormonally challenged 
Jedi, you know," he said as he gave his mother a hug then 
made his way to the hangar bay to grab a shuttle to 
planetside. 

**********

        Daala laid down on the bed as the med droid began 
scanning her, a few minutes later it took a blood sample 
and began running a battery of tests on as she watched the 
droid with apprehension as the minutes ticked by, one after 
the other. 

	  "Congratulations," the droid said as it walked over 
to the shocked Daala who looked like an AT-AT had just 
started dancing a jig on her body and handed her a data pad 
with the medical read outs from the tests that had been 
performed on her. 

        "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU RUSTED 
PEICE OF SHIT!" Daala shouted, scaring several patients 
that were there. Those that could walk hastily left the 
med-bay, the others that could not found a way to follow 
the more mobile patients that had left before them. 

	  "You are a week pregnant." the droid said as it 
started to put away the medical instruments that it had 
just finished using as Daala felt a wave of mind numbing 
shock that turned to fear then to rage and lastly to 
despair. 

        "How the hell could that happen? I just had a 
derma-plant two weeks ago! I should still be good for a 
year!" she rasped as her mind tried and failed to 
understand what was going on. When the droid heard that it 
hastily took back out the medical equipment that it had 
just finished putting away and took out several more. 

        It would be six hours before the droid would stop 
with its tests, unable to explain why Daala was knocked up 
higher than a kite in a Force storm. 

	  "It looks like your derma-plant was completely 
absorbed by your body a week and a half ago," the droid 
said as it started to put away it's tools for the second 
time, leaving Daala to sit there in despair. She had no 
idea how she was going to tell her husband about this when 
he got back. 

        "If he gets back, you mean," her mind thought as 
she got up from the bed. The thought of being a mother all 
alone in the middle of a war scared her more then she 
already was.  "Sith!" was all she could say as she felt her 
world come crashing down on her. 

********** 

[Federation Convention] 

        LT.Hit-Man walked into the huge auditorium. The 
doors were of a thick oak that had muffled his blaster's 
shots, so no one knew what had happened. No, the sea of 
trekkies was to busy paying attention to the speaker who 
was blabbing about Borg mating rituals, or the lack of so. 
LT.Hit-Man used the Force to make himself unseen by the 
weak minded trekkies and started to set up laser trip mines 
around the two doors. 

        After the mines were in place, LT.Hit-Man drew a 
bead on the speaker's forehead as he slowly squeezed the 
trigger, savoring the fear and chaos that was to come. He 
dropped the Force invisibility as he took up the final 
ounce of pressure on the E-11's trigger. 

	(blaster shot sound, sound of a person's head 
exploding like a ripe melon being blasted to a pulpy mess 
with an M-90) 

	(see Sheppard's site award for a good visual) 

        There was a hushed silence as the mob of trekkies 
watched as the headless corpse of the guest speaker fell to 
the floor, twitching like a suddenly beheaded ST ensign. 

        "All right, you miserable panty-waists, listen up 
and listen good," a low voice rumbled as the air suddenly 
chilled to near freezing. Slowly the shocked mob turned and 
saw someone in a set of stormtrooper armor, watching as the 
man slowly reached up and pulled his helmet off.

        LT.Hit-Man smiled a cold lifeless smile that had 
been the last thing countless beings saw before he killed 
them as he watched a good number of trekkies dropped dead 
of fright. 

        "I would not try and leave through the doors," 
LT.Hit-Man said as he walked down the main aisle to the 
podium where the headless corpse finally stopped twitching. 
"The doors are rigged with laser trip mines. Can you say 
BOOM?" he said as he kicked aside the corpse of Mr. Braga. 

        After a few long and tense minutes someone in a 
cheesy Vulcan costume worked up the courage to ask this 
loony toon just what the hell was going on. 

        "It's simple really." LT.Hit-Man said as he just 
looked out at the fearful crowd, deliberately taking his 
time in answering them as he reached into utility belt and 
pulled out a data pad. 

        "Fan Fic Review." Then he shot the mock Vulcan, 
covering the two screaming people beside him with chunks of 
sizzling flesh, boiled brains and shattered skull bones. 

        The trekkies had no idea of what hell on Earth was, 
but before the day was done they would. 

        "First up is Fist of the Empire Part 1 (prologue to 
chapter 8), by Commander Mrith'hele'arana," LT.Hit-Man said 
as he looked up from the data pad and out at the crowd 
whose fear was starting to ease up just a tad from near 
fatal level. That was about to change dramatically. 

        "Kriff, that's a long name to go with a long fan 
fic," LT.Hit-Man said as he took out his insulated canteen, 
flipped the top open and took a slug of coffee. 
"Well, from now on, I'm going to call her Commander M. I'm 
sure she'll understand." He smiled a toothy grin before 
adding, "And if she doesn't, oh well. Ladies can be like 
that some times, but I'll tell you this never ever play a 
game of sabacc with a Chiss and expect to win all your 
hands." 

        The crowed looked at the at the crazy man who was 
standing there talking to them, then to each other, not 
understanding what the hell this guy was talking about. 
LT.Hit-Man could see that they were confused as well as 
fearful. "Perfect." he thought to himself as he explained 
it to them. 

        "Well, you see, the Chiss are well known for their 
cunning. Especially the understudy of the late and great 
Grand Admiral Thrawn, as is demonstrated in the first 
chapter through to the eighth chapter of Fist of the 
Empire." LT.Hit-Man could see that the trekkies still had 
no idea of what he was going on about and this was starting 
to annoy him. 

        "Commander M's tactical sense is almost as great as 
that of her mentor. Yes, good old Thrawny could put an 
entire system under the Empire's control with nothing more 
than a beat up VSD and a handful of Carrack cruisers as she 
demonstrated in chapter 2 as she set out to conduct hit and 
run raids into Federation, Klingon, Gorn, Breen, Cardassian 
and Tholian space, cutting supply lines and hitting small 
groups of ships as hard and as fast as they could be 
hammered on before taking off, leaving any pursuers to 
wonder just what the hell was going on while bringing a 
faction of the Romulans also known as the Rihannsu to our 
side as we took out the Tal'Shiar." 

        LT.Hit-Man grinned as he saw the strange looks that 
the trekkies were giving him. He took a big slug of coffee 
knowing that it was going to be a long day. 

        "And as an added bonus, the demoralizing effects of 
such raids. I mean how are you going to keep cool knowing 
that your enemy is out there waiting, not knowing where or 
when you're going to get your ass kicked? Fear is a fine 
weapon, a weapon to be used like a scalpel. You neatly cut 
away your enemy's will and resistance bit by bit; it's not 
to be used as a club to smash them down." 

        "Commander M's sense of naval combat is top of the 
line. She really captures the grim and bloody business that 
is war. The descriptions of how ships from both sides duke 
it out are on par with some of the finer fan fics that have 
graced the hallowed halls of ASVS. I loved the bit where 
she gave me a 10mm railgun and a shitload of ammo to waste 
on you dumb ass Feds," LT.Hit-Man added as he took out a 
stogie and lit it with the micro flamethrower that was 
built into the middle finger of his cybernetic right hand. 

        "What the fuck are you talking about?" one of the 
trekkies shouted as he stood up. Before LT.Hit-Man could 
answer the lippy trekkie, the doomed man added, "Star Trek 
and Star Wars are not real." 

        LT.Hit-Man reached out with the Force and slowly 
ripped the man's tongue out, leaving him to drown in his 
own blood. The crowd of trekkies just looked at him, not 
believing their eyes. 

        "Shall we continue?" LT.Hit-Man asked as he let out 
a plume of smoke. 

        Everyone there just looked at this insane whatever. 
They could not comprehend the idea of a slightly insane but 
lovable Force-using cyborg. 

        "In closing I must say that I was most pleased with 
every aspect of this fanfic. I loved the lyrical openings 
for each chapter and I was surprised to see a love story 
starting to grow out this fic. Rare to see that in a war 
fic, and the battle for Borg world 9741 was a nice touch. 
All in all this fic gets a ten out of ten blaster bolts per 
part!" LT.Hit-Man said as he ordered ninety trekkies to 
drag their sorry asses up to the podium. 

        But not one of them moved. LT.Hit-Man took out what 
looked to be a slightly larger then normal thermal 
detonator and held it up so they could see it, adding, "You 
all are going to die, be assured of that. I am immune to 
the bio agent in this gas grenade. You are not. Allow me to 
demonstrate just how nasty this shit is." 

        LT.Hit-Man put the gas grenade down and pulled out 
a dart gun loaded with Travem-filled darts, calmly shooting 
some Kira wannabe chick in the leg. 

        Slowly her leg began to liquefy as the Travem 
started to work on the rest of her body. Within thirty 
seconds, thirty seconds of unbelievable suffering, all that 
was left was a bubbling pool of steaming goo. 

        "You can go out like that, or step up and die with 
some kriffing dignity. The choice is yours," LT.Hit-Man 
said as he looked out at the terrified mob before him. 
Then, slowly, one by one, ninety people stepped up to the 
podium as terror began to spread through the auditorium 
like a plague. 

        LT.Hit-Man took out what liked to be a hi-tech 
blunderbuss and pointed the obscenely huge barrel at the 
ninety luckless trekkies as he cleanly slapped a clip into 
the weapon. "You know, I was on my merry way to waste the 
Borg before I ended up on this jerkwater planet," LT.Hit-
Man said as he started to pull the trigger. The Borg 
wannabes began to really get scared. "I have been itching 
to test out some of the new anti-Borg weapons I had been 
working on. The Borg had done gone and made the war with 
them a personal vendetta, but since I here I might as well 
try out some of my new toys," he said as the weapon belched 
out a swirling blue stream of lighting. 

        LT.Hit-Man used the weapon like a fire hose as he 
played the crackling blue beam over the ninety lucky 
contestants, his grim, hellish smile made more so as the 
glare from his lighting gun lit up the auditorium. When the 
lighting stream touched one of the trekkies, their body 
began to char, their blood boiling before their torso was 
vaporized. 

        "Not bad at all," LT.Hit-Man said as he put the 
weapon into his trooper backpack. The scent of charred 
flesh mixed with the scent of vomit as the trekkies puked 
their guts out at the sight of the horrific fate of the 
ninety trekkies. The sight filled them with a mind 
shredding fear.

        "Our next fan fic is Ante Magnum Bellum Chapter 1 
by Webber McGravin," LT.Hit-Man said as he dropped the butt 
of his stogie. He could see that the trekkies are just 
about at their wit's end but he did not care.

        "This fic gets a ten out of ten. Admiral Sheppard 
getting Force lighting-fried by the Emperor because 
Sheppard offended him. I wonder what happened with that? 
But it turns out that Seifert had done something to get 
Sheppard in deep shit with the Emperor. Hmmm, pay back 
time. I wonder who the lost trooper from Sheppard's fleet 
is? The funniest thing about this fic is a tribble-powered 
ship. Damn that's strange, but I like it," LT.Hit-Man said 
as he walked up to the front row of trekkies and handpicked 
ten of them to fill out the blaster rating. 

         "You know, I'm not a complete barbarian, so I will 
give you one last meal before the end," LT.Hit-Man said as 
he dug out eleven meal packs and handed each one of the 
trekkies a pack, opening up the last from himself and 
eating from it. 

        "Sorry, that's the best I can do for you, so eat up 
your Ewok kibble and enjoy it," LT.Hit-Man said as he 
wolfed down his eggs and bacon meal pack. If there was one 
thing he did love as much as putting a Force choke on 
someone who had annoyed him, it was army meal packs. 

        LT.Hit-Man then took out a remote with an evil 
smile. "Suckers!" he shouted with glee as he saw their eyes 
widen with fear. He gently rubbed his thumb on the large 
red button, much like he would his wife. 

        "You see, I laced the meal packs with highly 
explosive nano-probes. If they work well, I intend to slip 
them into the Borg food supply if I can find it," LT.Hit-
Man said as he stabbed his thumb down on the button. 

        "But you ate one too! You'll die just like us!" one 
of the doomed trekkies screamed as the sound of a click 
came from the remote. The last things the doomed trekkies 
heard before they were reduced to a wet lingering red mist 
and pairs smoking boots was, "I ate a different one."  
(Thanks for the idea McGravin) 

        Unknown to them, four cop cars pulled up to the 
convention center after they had gotten a call of a 
shooting. With a curse, the cops got out of their cars and 
made their way to the shattered glass doors.

********** 

        "Sir, how do you want to play it?" police officer 
Hulk said to officer Jones as the eight police officers 
ducked behind their cruisers. "Well, let's see if the son 
of a bitch is still in there first," Jones said as he 
flipped on the bullhorn in his hands. "This LT. Timothy 
Jones of the LAPD! Throw down your weapons and come out 
with your hands up!" he said into the bullhorn, but all 
that came back was silence. Fear began to play in their 
minds as they pulled out their sidearms. 

        "Well, Skinny, it looks like no one is there," 
Jones said to Hulk, who was itching to kill someone.

        "So what are we waiting here for? Let's get in 
there and see if the motherfucker is gone," Officer Hulk 
said as he got to his feet. The fourteen coffees that he 
had during the day were starting to really make him 
restless.

        "Ya, let's go and take care of this shit," LT.Jones 
said as he ordered the rest of the cops to follow him and 
Officer Hulk into the convention center.

        They ran towards the convention center, acting like 
that nothing was going to hurt them because they were the 
good guys. Obviously, someone had been watching to many 
cowboy shows when they were kids.

        Officer Skinny Hulk took the lead, thanks to his 
coffee-induced energy burst, Jones following close behind 
with the other officers bring up the rear.

        Skinny Hulk stepped across the entryway to the 
convention center and died as he went from being a man to a 
pile of bloody jibs that had the consistency of raw 
hamburger. Jones let out a terrified scream as he came to a 
sudden halt less then a centimeter way from the entrance to 
the convention center, but fate was calling him out. The 
officer that had been trailing behind him tried to stop, 
but his forward momentum slammed him into Jones, who was 
slammed into and through the microfilament wire that 
LT.Hit-Man had strung up across every centimeter of the 
convention center's doorway.

        Once the officers saw what had become of Jones and 
Hulk, they started to puke their guts out. It would be a 
long five minutes before they were able to stop upchucking 
and get back to their squad cars and call for 
reinforcements.
(Thanks for the idea, Doomriser)

        LT.Hit-Man smiled as he felt the sweet taste of 
death and fear flow from the entry.

        "Well, that should keep the law officers at bay," 
he thought to himself as he looked out at the trekkies who 
saw the grim smile on LT.Hit-Man's face grow, as did their 
fear when they saw it.

        "Next up is Balance of the Force by Chuck 
Sonnenburg. This one gets a 10 out of 10," LT.Hit-Man said 
as he pulled out the spool that the microfilament wire had 
been on. Finding a bit left he started to floss his teeth 
with it.

	"Time traveling Romulans, Klingons and the like all 
trying to stop Anakin from becoming Darth Vader, the Sith 
lord we all know and fear, heheheh. They bumped off Obi-wan 
so that Qui-Gon would live and complete Anakin's training 
so that he would not fall to the dark side and help give 
rise to the Empire."

	LT.Hit-Man could see the confused looks on the 
trekkies' faces and smirked. This was getting good.

        "But since they changed time around, everyone and 
everything started dying, so in order to save all life 
Anakin gave himself to the dark side and everything was set 
to right. I love it," he said as ten trekkies found the 
guts to step forwards.

        LT.Hit-Man took out a black rifle with a large red 
crystal on the end of the barrel and flipped the power on.

        "Well, since this fic was dealing with time and 
what happens if you mess with it, I'm going to try this new 
crono rifle out and see how it works," LT.Hit-Man said as 
he opened fire on the ten trekkies.

        Everyone watched as the bodies of the ten trekkies 
began to age, then suddenly grow younger, then tried to age 
and grow younger at the same time.

        "Oh shit!" LT.Hit-Man yelped as sparks began to 
shoot out of the crono rifle. LT.Hit-Man threw the 
malfunctioning weapon towards the ten dying trekkies as it 
started to spark wildly. There was a strange sucking 
sensation as the crono rifle imploded, sucking the ten 
dying trekkies into some kind of vortex that was the size 
of a car tire, then just as suddenly as it started the 
vortex dissipated.

        LT.Hit-Man looked at the spot where the vortex had 
formed and then he looked at the rest of the shocked 
trekkies.

        "And let that be a lesson to all of us: DON'T KRIFF 
WITH TIME!"

        "Artoo's Encounter Prolog to Chapter 2 by Allen W. 
McDonnell is a strange kind of fic. Not you usual type of 
fic. It's interesting. Luke Skywalker giving the Ferengi 
blaster technology? Oh boy, the crime rates going to go 
thought the roof! Then he gives astromech droid and 
starship tech as well as starfighter tech to the 
Federation. Well, this is going to be interesting to say 
the least. I give it a 10 out of 10. I like the different 
approach he took with this fic," LT.Hit-Man said as he dug 
out a droid repair kit and a few other interesting items, 
then he went to work on twenty trekkies. 

        LT.Hit-Man stepped back to take a look at his 
handiwork. Yes, it had been a bitch to implant the droid 
restraining bolts. Not that the agonized screams from the 
trekkies had anything to do with the difficulties that he 
had encountered while slowly and methodically implanting 
the restraining bolts. No, the bitch of it was trying to 
connect the impulse command leads to the autonomic nerve 
centers of their brains. As you can tell, LT.Hit-Man is not 
a brain surgeon. 

        "Okay, let see what happens now," LT.Hit-Man said 
as he flicked on the droid controller unit and just about 
pissed himself laughing as two of the implanted trekkies 
ran into each other. Another started making whooping noises 
as she ran around in a circle, her arms flapping like a 
crippled bird. One trekkie just sat there drooling. LT.Hit-
Man could not tell if that was before or after he turned on 
the droid controller unit. Six trekkies then soiled 
themselves as they flopped around like a fish out water as 
LT.Hit-Man pushed buttons on the unit at random. 

        As the rest of the trekkies watched in horror, five 
of the implanted trekkies began to howl, rant, rave and 
foam at the mouth before they start to mate with the 
nearest inanimate object. Two more trekkies start to fight 
with themselves while three others started turning 
cartwheels before slamming into a wall. 

        "Now that's something to write home about," LT.Hit-
Man said as he pushed the blue button on the top of the 
controller unit. The restraining bolts had been modified by 
LT.Hit-Man to house a shaped explosive. As he pushed the 
button there was the sound like wet popcorn being popped in 
a microwave as the air was filled bits of skull bones and 
pulped brain matter. 

        LT.Hit-Man was thinking about how these restraining 
bolts could be used as a weapon when he got an idea. He 
took out his data pad and began to type away at it for a 
minute as the sound of a fresh wave of cookie tossing 
mingled nicely with the bubbling sound of boiling blood. 

        "The Merging prolog to chapter 1 by Anders Russell 
is one fic that takes the Star Wars, Star Trek, Red Dwarf 
and Babylon 5 and mixes them up nicely with a hint of mint 
on the side. I like how it's turning out so far so I'm 
giving it a ten out of ten."

        "This fic is looking like it's not only going to be 
a well done fic, but it's going to have some humor in it as 
well that I like. Commander Mrith'hele'arana and Thrawn 
having a not-so-private affair...mmm, I bet the Coruscant 
Inquirer would pay a tidy sum for that story. I wonder what 
else Mr. Russell is going to add to this fic." 

        LT.Hit-Man walked along the front row of trekkies 
who were rooted to their seats in fear. Before anyone could 
say or do anything, LT.Hit-Man, at random, grabbed twenty 
trekkies, throwing them one by one over to an area a few 
feet from the podium. "A black hole is the main way SW, ST, 
B5 and RD got together for this meeting, so lets try this." 
He pulled out a gravity grenade, armed it and threw in the 
middle of the twenty trekkies who had but a few seconds to 
get out a choked scream before the gravity around then 
became four hundred times greater. Soon, all that was left 
of them was a thin red paste. 

        "Damn, that was depressing to say the least, don't 
you think?" LT.Hit-Man said to the trekkies who were now 
praying that the convention center would collapse on them, 
ending their misery as LT.Hit-Man did something he rarely 
did. He started to laugh a laugh that made the mindless 
gibbering of all the inmates of an insane asylum sound like 
a fine opera in comparison. 

        "Next up is Battleground Alpha: Knights and Pawns 
Chapters 1 to 3 by Jonathan Boyd," LT.Hit-Man said as he 
paced back and forth like a hunting predator in search of 
fresh meat after a long day in the hot suns, hunger gnawing 
at it's rumbling belly. 

	  "The New Republic and the Federation are duking it 
out as the Empire is rebuilding it's fleet. The reason the 
New Republic is laying the boots to the Federation is 
because the Federation wasted the whining bitch of a Jedi 
knight know as Luke Skywalker or so the Empire would have 
the New Republic believe. The space and ground combat in 
this fic is excellent; I am enjoying this fic to no end, 
I've read it over five thousand times and it just keeps 
getting better every time. 10 out of 10, no doubts about it 
whatsoever." LT.Hit-Man said with a grin as he had thirty 
trekkies line up against the wall. He took out a modded 
railgun and took aim at one of the trekkies and pulled the 
railgun's trigger. 

        BEUMMM! 

        A pellet the size of a pea slammed into and through 
the trekkie, who died from a massive hydrostatic shockwave 
before the pellet smashed through the wall and LT.Hit-Man 
found himself on his ass. 

        LT.Hit-Man got back up and smiled at the sight of 
the dead trekkie. "Whoo, I had the power cranked up a wee 
bit too high there," he said as he made an adjustment to 
the railgun.  "Now let's try this again," he said as he 
took aim at another trekkie, who fell to his knees begging 
and screaming for his life. 

        "Stand the kriff up! Have some kriffing dignity 
when you die! You're not Luke, the whining Jedi bitch!" 
LT.Hit-Man yelled as he grabbed the trekkie by the face 
with his human hand and stood him up. So sickened by the 
trekkie's whining was LT.Hit-Man that he cranked the 
railgun up to full power and stood facing the trekkies who 
are standing one behind each other. LT.Hit-Man lined up the 
railgun with the first trekkie's head and pulled the 
trigger. 

        BEUMMM! 

        The pellet smashes it's way through the heads of 29 
trekkies, imploding as the pellet hit them and smashed into 
the wall behind the last trekkie. 

        "Damn, that was annoying," LT.Hit-Man said as he 
got to his feet. He was tempted to kill them all, but he 
decided to get real nasty instead. 

        "We have two fics from good old Michael January. 
First is Independence. Independence is about the chance 
meeting between a New Republic ship, named the 
Independence, and a Federation ship called the 
Constellation. Due a slight problem in hyperspace, the 
Independence ends up in the Federation's Galaxy. Thinking 
that they had pulled out of Hyperspace by the Empire they 
open fire on the Constellation, nearly destroying it." 

        LT.Hit-Man reached for a stogie, lit it, and 
carried on with the review 

        "But they realized their mistake and help to repair 
the fed ship then they drag the fed ship back to the 
Federation and make their peace with them. All in all it 
was not a bad fic; I hope to see more of it, so I'm giving 
it a 10 out of 10." 

        "The next fic by Michael January is The Mighty 
Python's Guide to the Milky Way," LT.Hit-Man said, then 
after a few seconds started to roar with uncontrollable 
laughter. For the next five minutes the trekkies began to 
shuffle around in their seats as they watched the mad 
killer before them fight to get himself under control. 

        "I love this fic. Grand Admiral Grandus 
Stultissimus is someone that even Boba Fett would not want 
to kriff with. I'd kill 'em, but as the Emperor said to 
Vader, and I quote, "The Force seems to takes sadistic 
pleasure in supporting idiots such as he." LT.Hit-Man 
smiled at the cowering trekkies. "I pity you Feds. When he 
shows up, oh boy, you're going to get it bad. I mean, this 
guy sicced a World Devastator on the founders, that was 
nice." 

        "I am most definitely give this fic 10 out 10. I 
just can't wait to read more of this fic. I'm in for a riot 
with this." LT.Hit-Man pulls out a Mac-10 Uzi chambered for 
a 10mm round and dusts off twenty trekkies in short order. 
There were lots of fics to be reviewed. 

        "You know what? The members of ASVS who have posted 
fan fics to that most hollowed corner of the web are each 
an artist in their own right. Take, for instance, Jen 
Dare's fic Darth Takes a Holiday is about a Sith battle 
lord named Darth Maul who ends up in the middle of the 
Federation. His ship was about to go boom when he his 
rescued by the crew of the USS Enterprise under the command 
of Captain Picard, and much to Maul's horror neither his 
lightsaber of his Sithly dark side powers seemed to work in 
the Milky Way. So, he has to start adjusting to this new 
galaxy he finds himself in, and as an added bonus he is 
considering taking a vacation on Risa. Maul seems to be 
somewhat of a "babe magnet" on the Enterprise much to 
Riker's dismay. Looks like there's another rooster in the 
hen house! Hehehe." 

        "Doomriser's fic Imperial Spearhead has a small 
Imperial strike force stuck in the Milky way and on the 
defensive for starters and under the command of a kriff 
head Moff Jerios who does not know his ass from a hole in 
the ground. The Imperial strike force gets jumped by the 
Borg, they end up having to waste their own base to keep it 
from falling into Borg hands, and their is mutiny in the 
air." 

        "Not your usual style of SW vs. ST fan fic, and 
ever since I've read that one I've made it a habit to have 
some microfilament wire on hand. It does wonders for dental 
care." 

        "Kynes Highwind seems to be the ASVS's resident 
historian. His fics ASVS-History Chapters 1-3 and ASVS-
History The Fall of the First Troll King are about the 
valiant fight that the ASVSers are putting up against the 
trolls that lurk in ASVS, defiling it with their foul 
presence as well as how ASVS started up and where it is 
going." 

        "Commander Mrith'hele'arana's fic The 
Revolutionaries is about droids from the SW galaxy who 
tried to throw off their chain of oppression, but they 
failed, so they take off for the ST galaxy. Their mission 
the eradication of organic life. The take down of DS-9 was 
a fine work of Machiavellian art. I look forward to reading 
more of this fic." 

        "Next is Critical Reality by Spyda. The Earth is 
toasted a nice golden brown, the shadows have start 
invading the SW galaxy, and the Q are helpless and dying 
all because one Q went somewhere he shouldn't have gone to. 
Now all hell is braking loose. I love it, looks like 
Spyda's out to really make everyone miserable in this fic." 

********** 

[Outside the convention center]

        The police officers that had been the first to 
arrive on the scene were drinking coffee after coffee, 
wishing for something stronger as they tried to put the 
horrific images of the Officers Hulk and Jones being diced 
into bloody hamburger. After the S.W.A.T. team showed up 
they grilled the officers about what had happened. Once 
they had their answers, they began to plan their assault on 
the convention center, though it was not a great loss that 
officers Hulk and Jones were dead. The LAPD have to cover 
up their constant mistakes and stupidity, but still they 
were a part of the LAPD so their was pay to be handed out. 
Grimly they made way towards the convention center's main 
entrance. Sergeant Mike Cortec took out a mirror on a long 
steel pole and pushed it across the entryway, but as soon 
as the mirror crossed the threshold of the entryway doors 
it was cut to pieces by the microfilament wire that LT.Hit-
Man strung up across the doorway. "SHIT!" Sergeant Cortec 
said as the mental image of him being sliced into giblets 
flashed through his mind. 

        The S.W.A.T. teamed pulled back to their van and 
revised their plans to storm the convention center. After 
about five minutes, S.W.A.T. officer Pete Ulgrich placed a 
small demo charge at each of the corners of the convention 
center's doors while being covered by S.W.A.T. officers 
Drake Frost and Joe Sloppy. Once the charges were in place 
they ran back to the S.W.A.T. van. 

        BOOM! The demo charges were detonated, then the 
fifteen-man S.W.A.T. team stormed into the convention 
center's main lobby. It was going to be a slaughter. 

        * Drone 1 online* 
        * Drone 2 online* 
        * Drone 3 online* 
        * Drone 4 online* 
        * Drone 5 online* 
        * Drone 6 online* 

        * Drone 1 of 6 Targets are fifteen humans in 
primitive body armor. Armaments consist of high rate of 
fire slug throwers, attack pattern Beta-3a * 

        The six modified Combat remotes began to weave a 
lethal web of blaster fire. The first two drones had been 
hovering at ceiling high above the convention center's 
doors so when the fifteen man S.W.A.T. team stormed into 
the convention center the last few members were dropped as 
blaster bolts began to fall on then like rain. When the 
S.W.A.T. team turned to open fire on the Drones two more 
Drones zipped out from the hallways to the left and to 
right at ground level and added to the deadly storm of 
blaster fire. The last two Drones had been hiding behind 
the plants on either side of the mined auditorium doors. 
They hovered into place in front of the auditorium doors 
and opened fired on the rapidly dwindling S.W.A.T. team 
that had been filling the air with automatic weapons fire, 
but they were too slow as the drones zipped around to 
complete their orders. 

        * Drone 1 of 6 all targets *TERMINATED* 
        The Drones began to take up new positions around 
the killing grounds of the blood soaked lobby and waited 
for more targets to arrive. 

        LT.Hit-Man smiled as he looked out at the trekkies 
who just sat there stunned after seeing the fifteen-man 
S.W.A.T. team get mowed down like grass under the blades of 
a lawnmower. When the drones had come on line, LT.Hit-Man 
fed the drones' visual and auditory feed from their sensors 
through his data pad and set the data pad for holographic 
display. Six
two foot squares, one above the other, formed up in the air 
above the data pad giving them all a fine and commanding 
view of the carnage that was taking place in the lobby. 

        Once it was over LT.Hit-Man killed the display from 
the data pad. 

        "Well, that was fun. Those troops lasted 0000.0005 
seconds longer then I thought they would have. Not bad at 
all now sh-"

        LT.Hit-Man never got to finish what he was saying 
because a trekkie by the name of Virus-x who was dressed as 
a transgendered Ferengi slave woman shouted, "YOU THINK 
YOU'RE SO DAMN SMART, DON'T YOU!"  The rest of the trekkies 
that had been sitting beside Virus-x cleared the area 
around him, not wanting to be anywhere near him when 
LT.Hit-Man dealt with him. Could you blame them? 

        LT.Hit-Man just looked at the freak trekkie, shook 
his head, and reached into his backpack as the trekkie kept 
on blabbing, "JUST WAIT UNTIL THE ARMY SHOWS UP! THEY'LL 
FUCK YOU UP BIG TIME, YOU'RE SO DEAD!" LT.Hit-Man took out 
from his backpack something that looked like a pair of 
brass knuckles and slipped it onto his cybernetic hand. On 
each of the knuckles were the letters H.C.T.I.B. in 
standard galactic lettering. He slowly walked towards 
Virus-x, who suddenly shut his mouth as he saw the wicked 
grin on LT.Hit-Man's face. "Well, it's nice to know that my 
tireless work in bringing you all this fine star-filled 
cast fan fic review has been appreciated," LT.Hit-Man said 
as he hoisted Virus-x into the air with his human hand as 
he drew his cybernetic hand back. "It's nice to know that 
I'm making an impact in someone's life." he said 
sarcastically to the cowering Virus-x as he slammed the 
brass knuckles lightly into Virus-x's forehead. 

        There was a slight crunching sound as the brass 
knuckles buried themselves a few centimeters into the 
trekkie's forehead, impressing the letters in reverse 
order, then he dropped Virus-x to the floor leaving him to 
hold his aching head. 

        "That was most impressive, if I do say so myself," 
LT.Hit-Man as he started to snicker. A few of trekkies put 
their hands over their mouths to hide their strained 
smiles. Virus-x was well known in the trekkie circles and 
no one liked him whatsoever. Yes, even trekkies could enjoy 
the irony of the situation.

        "Shadows of Night by Chuck Sonnenburg is a pick me 
up from where Worlds Without End left off. The Borg have 
assimilated Species 8472. Looks like there's going to be a 
whole lot of asskicking coming down the line. If this is 
anything like Worlds Without End, we're in for a treat big 
time." 

        "Yes, all the fan fics on the ASVS archive are a 
fine show of talent and creativity. I give them all a 10 
out of 10. Each of them puts a new spin on the question 
"What if Star Trek and Star Wars got together for a 
rumble?" 

        As LT.Hit-Man looked out at the mob of trekkies, he 
could feel their fear starting to grow like the blooming of 
a poisonous plant. Sean Collins and Anton Polinger clutched 
each other in fear, knowing that their time is just about 
up. 

        "I love you, I have always loved you," Sean says to 
Anton in a low, sappy voice as he looked Anton in the eyes. 
Anton grabbed Sean in a loving embrace. "I know," Anton 
said as he planted a huge wet soul kiss on Sean's quivering 
lips and Sean returned Anton's kiss noisily as his tongue 
slithered down his lover's throat. His hand slithered down 
to Sean's crotch. Sean growled slightly as he returned his 
lover's favour and they slowly began to wank each other 
off.

        LT.Hit-Man was putting the beat down on a Borg 
trekkie who had made the mistake of looking at him the 
wrong way when he heard some gagging sounds. He dropped the 
beaten down Borg and looked up to see two guys getting it 
on as the trekkies around them puked their guts out. Sean 
and Anton were so wrapped up with and in each other that 
they failed to notice when the trekkies that had been 
puking around them suddenly disappeared or the approaching 
LT.Hit-Man. 

        "WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE SITH IS GOING ON HERE!?" 
LT.Hit-Man snarled as he looked down on the lovers who were 
just about at the breaking point under the other's touch. 
Suddenly their interest in each other died away as they 
began to moan in fear as LT.Hit-Man stood there, glaring at 
them. 

        "This is a fan fic review, not a visit to Jabba's 
palace!" Lt.Hit-Man said in a cold, calm voice, a shocking 
counter to his yelling when he first saw them getting hot 
and heavy. 

        Anton and Sean just lay there in their embrace as 
their fear held them in place, then without warning LT.Hit-
Man grabbed Sean by the throat as Anton grabbed LT.Hit-Man 
the leg screaming, "PLEASE DON'T HURT MY FLUFF MUFFIN, TAKE 
ME INSTEAD!" 

        "Get off of me!" LT.Hit-Man snarled as he started 
to shake the leg that Anton was hanging on to, but try as 
he might LT.Hit-Man could not get the sobbing trekkie off 
of his leg, so he dropped Sean and reached down and cuffed 
Anton up side the head, stunning him. 

        As Anton lay there stunned, he watched LT.Hit-Man 
reach down and pick Sean back up by the face and hold the 
struggling trekkie in the air for a few moments. Then, 
there was an obscenely loud crunching sound as Sean's head 
was crushed like a rotted grape in a Death Star's trash 
compactor. 

        Then LT.Hit-Man took out his lightsaber, ignited 
it, and began to slaughter the mass of trekkies who started 
to run this way and that. Some of them even tried to run 
through the doors, forgetting that the doors had been mined 
in their blinding fear. 

        There was an explosion that rocked the auditorium 
as the mines went off, showering everyone with the maimed 
chucks of fourteen trekkies who had triggered the mines, 
then the last few trekkies that were left trampled the 
trekkies that had been wounded when the mines went off. 
LT.Hit-Man grabbed Anton by the arm and started dragging 
him through to a back room, leaving something on the podium 
for the troops to find. He cut a hole into the back wall 
with his lightsaber, popped a manhole lid and dropped down 
into the sewers.

        As the trekkies streamed out into the 
slaughterhouse that was the main lobby the drones that had 
so efficiently dealt with the S.W.A.T. team came on line 
and started to blast away at screaming mob, but try as they 
might the drones could not blast all of the fear crazed mob 
of trekkies. Ten of them managed to make it outside of the 
convention center, avoiding the explosions as the drones 
were crushed by the stampeding mass. 

        "FIRE!" Sergeant Jack McNabby shouted when he saw 
the ten screaming blood-covered loonies that were running 
towards him and his platoon of National Guards. 

        With in less then 3/10th of a second after Sergeant 
McNabby ordered the forty men and women platoon to fire 
they let loose with their M-16-A1's. The torrent of 5.56 
full metal jacket rounds turned the ten trekkies into 
lunchmeat. 

        Sergeant McNabby saw that the ten screaming persons 
that had come tearing of the convention center were 
unarmed. Slowly he took out an old Colt .45 and screwed on 
a .45 black talon round.

        Corporal Ted Bandy ordered the rest of the platoon 
into the convention center. As they made their way through 
the butcher's shop that had once been a convention they 
looked over the blasted, trampled bodies that were strewn 
about like a deck of cards in a game of 52 pick up, each of 
them wondering what inflicted the damage to the bodies. 

        "SIR! YOU HAD BETTER GET OVER HERE!" one of  
national guard's men called out. He had been scouting ahead 
after the platoon had entered the convention center. His 
voice was high and reedy with fear. Corporal Bandy walk 
over to the trembling soldier and when he saw what the 
fearful solider came across he soiled himself. "Fuck me!" 
he said before he fainted. 

        What, might you ask, would cause such fear? Was it 
the blasted bodies of the trekkies who had gotten tangled 
up with the mines on the door? Or was it the sliced and 
diced bodies and their parts strewn around like leaves in a 
forest during the late fall? Why, no, it was the gleaming 
white cylinder that was on the podium. But how could a mere 
white cylinder cause such fear? It can't, but the universal 
symbol of radiation and a slowly counting down L.E.D. just 
might have something to do with it.

[Back home]

        Grand Admiral Daala sat at her seat in the briefing 
room as Grand Admiral Sheppard and his staff were going 
over the plans for their attack on Species 8472, plans that 
were put on hold because LT.Hit-Man had failed to check in. 
He was a week overdue. 

        "We have sent out self-destructing probes to follow 
LT.Hit-Man's last know course and heading,"  Sheppard said 
to his staffers. After the first two days went by after he 
had failed to check in they thought nothing of it, but as 
the days passed they grew more apprehensive, fearing that 
LT.Hit-Man had failed in his mission to take out the Borg 
queen, or worse, that he had been assimilated. 

        As the week went on Sheppard ordered the probes 
launched. Now all they could do was sit back and wait for 
the probes to send back their info as they started to 
rework their plans. 

        As Daala sat and listened to Sheppard speak, she 
felt the familiar gut ripping nausea that been plaguing her 
senses since she found out that she was pregnant. She asked 
if she could be dismissed. Sheppard was about to ask Daala 
what was wrong when she suddenly bolted into his private 
bathroom and began to noisily puke. 

        Sheppard knew that there was something way out of 
line going on with Daala. He had seen her moods change from 
calmly cool and efficient to a raging bitch that would make 
a rabid rancor look like a sleeping dewback on spice. On 
one occasion he had stop her from spacing a poor comm 
officer who through no fault of his own was 1/10th of a 
second late in giving her the comm traffic report she had 
asked for. 

        Luckily for the comm officer he had been on the 
bridge of the _Revenger_ when it happened. After ordering 
Daala to stand down, he told the badly shaken comm officer 
to take the day off. But when he chewed her out for 
freaking on the comm officer she just started to cry then 
before he could ask what the hell was going on she walked 
out of the briefing room, fighting down her tears as best 
as she could. 

        Sheppard felt sorry for her. He figured that she 
was stressed out to the max so he let it slide. He had no 
idea how right he was. 

        When Daala came out of the crapper trapper she saw 
that everyone was gone save for Sheppard who was standing 
there with his arms crossed over his chest and a "You-had-
better-tell-me-what-the-hell-is-going-on" look on his face. 

        Once Daala spilt the beans she felt a little 
better. Sheppard on the other hand was just standing there 
with his jaw on the floor. "OK, as of now you are on 
extended medical leave," he said as he snapped back to his 
calm and cool manner. Then he told Daala that the probes 
that he had sent out managed to find the ion trail of 
LT.Hit-Man's ship and that it had gone through some kind of 
wormhole. 

        "What are we going to do?" Daala asked as a fresh 
round of fear was born. Sheppard got himself a drink, then 
he offered Daala a mug of fresh water, but she turned it 
down, not sure if she would be able to keep it down. 

        "I'm having a combat shuttle modded out for a deep 
space rescue mission to find and bring back LT.Hit-Man. 
Commander Mrith'hele'arana, one of our best, if not our 
best, pilots, will be flying the shuttle. If anyone can 
find him it will be her." 

        When Daala heard that she felt much relieved, then 
she asked to be dismissed to take her medical leave. Once 
she was gone, Sheppard waited for a few minutes then he 
started to laugh his ass off at the thought of the look on 
LT.Hit-Man's face when he found out he was going to be a 
papa. But, he vowed, if LT.Hit-Man should be dead that he 
would see to it that Daala would have everything she needed 
in order to raise a child. 

********** 

[LA Sewers] 

        As LT.Hit-Man was heading back towards "The 
Fearmeister" with Anton in tow he suddenly swooned as a 
wave of deadly fear washed over him. "I see someone found 
my parting gift," he muttered to himself as he leaned 
against a slimy, filth-covered wall of the sewer until he 
felt strong enough to walk. 

        Anton was starting to blubber like a baby as he 
started to have a nervous break down as his mind refused to 
deal with the horror he had endured any longer. 

        "Shut the kriff up!" LT.Hit-Man snarled as he 
soundly thrashed the man for a few minutes. Once Anton was 
subdued the two of them carried on with their journey. 

        LT.Hit-Man pushed the manhole cover out of the way, 
stuck his head out and looked around. Once he saw that no 
one was around he dragged Anton out of the sewer and they 
ran into the abandoned factory where LT.Hit-Man had stashed 
his ship. 

        "Ahh, how good to see you again. Who's your 
playmate?" the med droid asked when he saw LT.Hit-Man race 
into the ship, dragging the screaming and kicking Anton 
behind him by the hair. 

        "Not now ya bucket of bolts." LT.Hit-Man said as he 
cuffed Anton to the cot. Then he got a nasty idea. 

        "Hey Rusty (The med-droid's name), why don't you 
have some fun with our guest while I get us the hell out of 
here? But don't kill him; I want him alive, understood?" 
LT.Hit-Man said as he jumped into the pilot's chair and 
started to fire up "The Fearmeister". 

        "Yes sir!" the med-droid said gleefully as it 
menacingly advanced on the whimpering Anton. As the ship 
lifted off, LT.Hit-Man smiled as Anton's screams filled the 
ship. "This droid may not be an Agonizer-6 but it'll do," 
he thought to himself as he started to fly north. 

********** 

[The Convention Center]

        The US armed forces were going crazy as they tried 
to figure a way to disarm the nuke that LT.Hit-Man had left 
behind as they got ready to deal with the casualties that 
there would be if the nuke was not disarmed in time. 

        "What does the device look like?" General 
Schwarzkopf asked as he took a huge gulp of his sixth 
coffee as he tried to figure how to deactivate the bomb. 

        "Well, Sir, the device is about three feet tall and 
ten inches wide. We're setting up the live video feed. 
Standby, Sir," Ted Bandy said as he finished hooking up the 
leads to the small field broadcast sensors. 

        "My God!" General Schwarzcopf said as the image of 
the nuke appeared on the video screen. He saw the radiation 
symbol near the top of the apparently sealed cylinder. 
Under the symbol was an L.E.D. that read "00:10:00" and a 
nice big shiny black button under the L.E.D. 

        "Is there anyway to open the device?" the General 
asked in a shaky voice. 

        00:09:00 

        "No Sir, the device seems to be sealed air tight." 
Ted Bandy said as he crouched down beside the nuke, 
fighting down the urge to run for his life or shit himself. 

        General Schwarzkopf asked where the hell the Tech 
guys from the 2345th tech and ordnance division were. "They 
be here in four minutes," the comm officer said, and 
General Schwarzkopf cursed.

        00:08:00 

        "OK Corporal, I want to get the device into a truck 
and get the hell out of LA as fast as you can," the General 
said, knowing the there was no way that they would have 
time to disarm the device, so they would try and get it as 
far away from the city as they could. 

        "Yes Sir," was all Corporal Bandy could say as he 
reached for the nuke. 

        *Beep beep beep* the device went as the Corporal's 
hands were about to touch the nuke and the L.E.D. jumped 
from 00:07:00 to 00:04:00. Corporal Bandy backed off from 
the nuke as he pissed himself. Several of the national 
guards that were there screamed and fainted. 

        In the pentagon Command Center everyone just sat 
there stunned, knowing that LA was a doomed city as they 
watched in a grim, horrified fascination as the nuke 
counted down toward oblivion. 

        00:03:00 

        00:02:00 

        00:01:00 

        00:00:00

        BEEP ! 

        There was no blinding flash of light that would 
have give a good percent of the population of LA sun tan 
that they would never forget, nor was there any radiation 
that would have blasted their cells, turning their flesh 
into something that had the consistency of overcooked 
oatmeal as it slid off of their bones. 

        "Ah Sir! The device is opening," Corporal Bandy 
said, and everyone looked to see the top of the device rise 
up a few centimeters and unfurl a sheet of paper that read: 
"Congratulations, you've just been mind kriffed LT.Hit-Man 
style. Have a nice day ASSHOLES!" 

        General Schwarzkopf started to rant. "I want this 
LT.Hit-Man found NOW!" he yelled as he pulled out his side 
arm and cocked it, but before he could say or do anything a 
blinding white flash of light belched from the TV and the 
General dropped dead of a stroke. 

        Corporal Bandy opened his eyes and cried when he 
saw to his immense relief that he was still there. The 
device was gone - LT.Hit-Man had installed a small particle 
disintegrator in it. 

        "Sir we're OK here, Sir??? Sir are you OK?" 
Corporal Bandy said into his comm headset but got no 
answer.

[On the Santa Monica Freeway]

        A bus cruised down the Santa Monica freeway at a 
leisurely pace as the day wore on. 

        "Pass me some of that coke you son of a bitch!" 
Kate Mulgrew snarled at Robert Duncan McNeill, who had just 
finished snorting a line of coke from between Roxann Biggs-
Dawson's tits. 

        "Get your own," was Robert's reply as he as he 
wiped his nose. 

        Robert Beltran and Ethan Phillips were sharing a 
bucket of fried chicken when they heard that they started 
to snicker. It seemed like Kate was hurting in a bad way. 
"Serves her right she shouldn't have spent all her cash at 
the bar." Beltran said to Ethan as he took a big bite out 
this drumstick. "I heard that you son of a whore!" Kate 
spat as he took her hand out of Robert Picardo's pants and 
got to her feet intent on bitch slapping Beltran up side 
the head for that comment. 

        "Relax and have some of this," Garrett Wang said as 
he held out the crack pipe after he refilled it. He was 
feeling good as the crack started to work on his brain. 
"You know that shit makes me horny," Kate said as she 
fondled her tits with a lusty smile. 

        "Like there's a difference." Picardo said, not too 
happy that she had stop yanking his crank as he lit up a 
splif. 

"Can it, limpy!" she shot back and the bus erupted with 
laughter. 

        Tim Russ, Jennifer Lien, Jeri Ryan along with Jerri 
Taylor and Rick Berman were have a few drinks when Jeri 
Ryan got up and made her way to the bus's washroom. The 
Jack Daniels was starting to hit her hard. As she was about 
to enter the bathroom Roxann sat up and asked her if she 
want to get a three some going with her and McNeill. Jeri 
Ryan told her that she was not feeling to good. 

        "OK, maybe later then?" Roxann said as McNeill went 
down on her, Jeri just nodded her head and went in the 
washroom, locking the door behind her and puking into the 
can. 

        "This is Officer Mike Torka. There's a bus with a 
busted taillight on Mile 764 of the Santa Monica. I'm going 
to pull them over. The license plate is A6B-38F," the state 
trooper said into his CB as he reached for the switch to 
turn on the lights and siren of his car. 

        "Shit, it's the cops!" the bus driver said as he 
looked into his rear-view mirror. Everyone started to freak 
out as they did their best to get rid of their drugs, 
either by using them or throwing them out a window. They 
started to pound on the washroom door, hoping to flush it 
into the chemical toilet's tank. 

        "What do you want?" Jeri Ryan said as she started 
to clean herself up. "Open the fucking door! The cops just 
pulled us over!" Kate Mulgrew shouted as she pounded on the 
door. 

        Jeri Ryan unlocked the door and was knocked to the 
floor as Kate, Garrett along with Picardo toppled into the 
washroom. 

**********

        LT.Hit-Man was just flying "The Fearmeister" at a 
leisurely pace, wondering what the hell to do when he felt 
a wave of sweetly dark fear wash over him and he let the 
dark side guide him to the source of fear. 

        LT.Hit-Man landed his cloaked ship in a field a few 
yards from the source of fear that the dark side was 
leading him to. He noticed that there was a bus and a car. 

        Using the Force to hide himself from sight he crept 
up to the car and saw that it was some kind of law 
enforcement vehicle. He then took a Merr-Sonn C-22 
fragmentation grenade as he crawled under the cop car and 
put the magnetic grapple on what looked to be the car's 
fuel tanks, gave the timer dial a twist, setting it for a 
minute, then pushing the activation panel. He rolled out 
from under the car and launched himself into a Force-
boosted somersault into the air, landing six feet away from 
the car. Then, using the dark side to boost his speed, he 
ran towards the side of the bus closest to the side of the 
road. 

        After the grenade went off he crept along the bus 
towards the back and waited for his prey. He did not have 
to wait for long as a tall burly man in some kind of 
uniform with a slug thrower pointed towards the flaming 
wreck of his car. LT.Hit-Man crept up behind him, his 
lightsaber in his right hand, then dropped his Force cloak. 

        When the man turned to face him LT.Hit-Man just 
gave him his best fearsome, inhuman look. The man froze up 
and Hit-Man activated his lightsaber, impaling the man like 
the noble Darth Maul had done in ages past to the Jedi scum 
Qui-Gon Jinn. 

        LT.Hit-Man deactivated his lightsaber and watched 
with grim satisfaction as the man's lifeless body fell to 
the roadside with a meaty thud. "Now the real fun begins!" 
LT.Hit-Man thought to himself as he walked towards the 
bus's door. 

**********

        Officer Mike Torka walked towards the bus, his hand 
on his Glock as he approached the driver's side. In the 
back of his mind he felt the hand of death on his shoulder. 
Just as he was about to speak to the bus driver his car 
exploded. 

        "HOLY SHIT!" Officer Torka yelled as he watched the 
flaming wreck of his car flip over and land on its roof. 
His Glock in his hand faster than greased lighting as he 
made his way back towards his burning car. 

        Officer Torka was about to reach for the CB clipped 
to his shoulder when a shadow fell upon him. He spun around 
bring his Glock to bear when he saw a scarred face with a 
glowing red eye, but what made him freeze up in fear was 
the cold inhuman look in the blue eye that was looking him 
right into his fear filled eyes. 

        There was a strange snap/hiss sound and Officer 
Torka felt a stabbing, burning pain in the middle of his 
chest. He looked down to see a crackling black beam of 
energy being emitted from a strange cylinder in the being's 
right hand, the beam penetrating the center of his chest. 
Officer Troka saw nothing more as he died. 

**********

        "SHIT!" The bus driver saw what had happened to the 
state trooper and stamped down on the gas pedal as fear 
crashed down on him like a tidal wave. The bus lurched a 
few feet forwards, then came to a sudden halt, and he was 
slammed forwards into the steering wheel. The rest of the 
cast and crew of Voyager were thrown to the floor in a 
tangled heap of thrashing limbs. 

        As LT.Hit-Man slowly made his way towards the bus's 
door, the bus started to leave. "I don't think so," LT.Hit-
Man said with a chuckle as he let the bus get a few feet 
from him. Then he raised his human hand and reached out 
with the dark side and held the bus in place. A lethal 
smiled crossed his scared face as he felt the pain and fear 
from the bus's occupants as they were thrown around by the 
bus coming to a sudden halt. He reactivated his lightsaber. 
The snapping hiss it made sent a delightful shiver up his 
spine. He then cut the wheels from their axles causing the 
bus to lurch to one side, eliciting more panicked cries 
from the bus occupants. 

        LT.Hit-Man stood in front of the doors. He looked 
up and found himself looking upon the bus driver's 
terrified face. With a sarcastic smirk, LT.Hit-Man raised 
his left hand and let loose with a bolt of Force 
destruction that sent the blasted doors slamming into the 
screaming bus driver, plastering him to his seat in a spray 
of blood, sending his head crashing thought the driver's 
side window and rolling onto the freeway. 

        The cast and crew of Voyager got to their feet just 
in time to see the doomed bus driver meet his bloody end, 
then they heard the low thumped foot falls of someone 
getting on to the bus. When they saw LT.Hit-Man's head come 
into view they started to tremble as fear started to turn 
their drug induced high in a nightmarish trip into hell.

        LT.Hit-Man managed to keep his face unreadable as 
he saw the occupants of the bus. "It can't be?" he thought 
to himself as he saw Captain Lameway, a man who looked like 
Neelix, a tall man with out the pointy ears that was a dead 
ringer for Tuvok and the rest of the crew of Voyager. 

        "Bonus!" LT.Hit-Man thought to himself as he behead 
the fat man who looked like Neelix with one quick flash of 
the blade of his lightsaber, then he put a Force choke hold 
on the Tuvok look alike. "Vulcan nerve pinch my ass, 
weakling scum!" he snarled as everyone started to scream 
and trample each other to get out this lunatic cyborg as 
their minds began to fold in on themselves. 

        Robert Beltran knew that his life was over, but if 
he was going to die, he was damn well going to take this 
murderous freak with him. With a crazed howl, he launched 
himself at the psycho as he was about to tear Garrett 
Wang's head off. 

        LT.Hit-Man started to laugh as the tall man that 
was sure to be a clone of Chakotay attacked him. "At least 
one of these shitheads has some balls to fight back," he 
thought to himself as the man slammed into him, knocking 
his lightsaber out of his hand, sending it on a lazy spin 
that took Jeri Taylor's head off before burying itself into 
the side of the bus. 

        LT.Hit-Man slipped out from under Beltran's grasp 
and got him in a head lock with his cybernetic arm, then 
before Robert Beltran could break free of LT.Hit-Man's 
deadly grasp LT.Hit-Man jumped into the air, not caring if 
he hit his head on the roof of the bus. As he was coming 
down LT.Hit-Man yelled in a cheerfully psychotic voice, 
"And the crowd goes wild as LT.Hit-Man applies the DDT!" 
Then there was a loud, sickeningly wet crunching sound as 
Beltran's face and head were crushed into the floor of the 
bus. 

        LT.Hit-Man launched himself into a foot sweep that 
cut Garrett Wang's legs out from under him. As Wang hit the 
floor of the bus, LT.Hit-Man slammed his left cybernetic 
leg across Garrett's chest with such force that Wang 
coughed up a gout of blood as his ribs, heart and lungs 
were crushed to a bloody pulp. 

        LT.Hit-Man sprung to his feet and slowly pointed 
towards Robert Duncan McNeill, using a Force pull to bring 
the screaming man towards him. "Time to go for a trip 
helmboy!" LT.Hit-Man said in a very Vaderesque voice mixed 
with a happy go lucky edge to it as he grabbed McNeill by 
the collar of his shirt and used the dark side to spin 
around really fast. As the windshield of the bus came into 
view, LT.Hit-Man let go of McNeill's shirt, sending the 
screaming man rocketing into the windshield, breaking his 
neck with a obscenely loud sound of dead wood being broken 
up for a camp fire. His head was outside the windshield, 
hanging there by the neck on the jagged edges of the hole 
made in the windshield by his crushed head. 

        LT.Hit-Man slowly turned towards the rest of the 
cast and crew of Voyager and spied Jennifer Lien. He fried 
her with crackling bolts of Force lighting. "Well everyone 
keeps saying she's hot," LT.Hit-Man said as he walked 
towards Roxann, who was starting to plead for her life, but 
her pleading turned to tortured shrieks as LT.Hit-Man 
reached out with the dark side. Slowly he ripped her chest 
open while saying "Warp core breach in progress" in a 
fairly good imitation of the Voyager's dull annoyingly 
sweet computer voice until all of her internal organs were 
on the bus's floor. 

        LT.Hit-Man reached out with the Force again and 
called his lightsaber to his hand. He swung it at Robert 
Picardo, cutting off his right hand as he sung "The hand 
bone is connected to the wrist bone!" then he cuts off the 
screaming man's right arm. "The wrist bone is connected the 
arm bone!" He went on until Mr. Picardo was nothing more 
than a pile of chunky dead meat. 

        LT.Hit-Man looked over at Kate Mulgrew and Rick 
Berman, who are just standing there, their minds unable to 
deal with the horror show that they had just witnessed. 

        "Damn, who to kill first?" LT.Hit-Man thought to 
himself as he started to pace back and forth as he  
pondered this mystery. 

        Kate Mulgrew managed to get her slightly perma-
fried brain in gear. "I'll do anything you want just don't 
kill me." Her voice was cracking with fear as she began to 
tremble uncontrollably at the sight of the blood and gore 
covered cyborg as it deactivated the strange energy weapon 
and clipped it to his belt. As he looked down at her with 
that blood freezing gaze of his, Rick Berman started to 
struggle frantically to get the back window open. 

        "So the great and mighty Captain Lameway has feet 
of clay after all," LT.Hit-Man said with a hellish grin as 
he saw the strange look that Kate was giving him and he 
added, "Anything I want eh? Hmmmm." Kate Mulgrew got her 
knees and start to reach for the codpiece of LT.Hit-Man's 
armor thinking that by letting this madman have his way 
with her he might stare her life or at the very least make 
her death quick and painless. 

        LT.Hit-Man just about puked when he saw what 
Lameway was up to, then his horror turned to pure hate. He 
was a happily married man, after all. 

        "I want you to die!" he said his most evil, hate 
filled voice as he raised his cybernetic hand towards the 
whining bitch and slowly ripped her soul from her body with 
the full might of his dark side powers. Rick Berman watched 
in mindless horror as Kate's body began to spasm, her flesh 
slowly melting away from her body, then her muscles ripped 
from her bones as her screams were suddenly cut off. Her 
organs then began to implode one by one, covering him and 
the cyborg in her blood, then her bones began to crumble 
into dust, then it was over, but unknown to him Kate's 
suffering was just began as LT.Hit-Man fed her soul to the 
dark side. 

        LT.Hit-Man Looked up at the blood covered man and 
was about to dice him into bloody chunks as he ignited his 
lightsaber, but fate was to cheat him, was going to stop 
him from ending Rick Berman's life. 

        Rick managed to get over his bloody state of shock 
as he let out a scream and threw himself through the window 
he had tried to open, not caring if he was cut to ribbons 
by the jagged glass as he fell to the ground in a tangled 
heap. 

        LT.Hit-Man walked over to the window that Rick had 
jumped through and with a smile he watched as the man got 
up and started to run like there was a pack of Sith hounds 
after him, and LT.Hit-Man just stood there smiling. 

        "I got to get away," Rick Berman kept saying to 
himself as he ran for his life. He looked back to see if 
the cyborg was after him and then he died. 

        Truck driver Mike Haskins was rolling down the 
Santa Monica freeway when he saw smoke around the bend. He 
reached for his CB as he came around the bend. When he saw 
the flaming cop car, he started to call it in but he saw 
something out of the corner of his eye. 

        "FUCK!" Mike yelled as he dropped his CB, laid on 
the brakes, and honked his air horn. 

        Rick looked back to see the crazy smiling blood 
covered cyborg looking at him, then he heard a squealing of 
brakes and then an air horn he turned and let out a 
strangled scream as a 16 wheeler loaded with 90 tons of pig 
iron slammed into him, pulping him instantly, his jellied 
corpse flying over the guard rail and into oncoming traffic 
that bounced what was left of him around like a bloody pin 
ball. 

        "Ohh that had to hurt!" LT.Hit-Man cackled. "Look 
Ma he's road kill!" Then LT.Hit-Man began to laugh his ass 
off.

        Jeri Ryan started to curse. After she had opened 
the door so that the rest of the cast and crew could dump 
their stash, she had been knocked to the floor and knocked 
out. When she regained consciousness she heard them all 
starting to scream along with a strange humming sound and a 
voice so cold and mean she knew that there was trouble, so 
he tried to open the window in the washroom. Luckily the 
washroom door was shut as this was going down. 

        Once she got the window open Jeri tried to squeeze 
herself though the small open window but unfortunately for 
her, her huge tits got in the way. One of them was outside 
the window and the other one was wedged firmly into the 
window ledge and she found she was stuck, unable to move 
forwards or back into the washroom. 

        LT.Hit-Man was starting to leave the bus when he 
heard a low mutter coming from behind a door near the back 
of the bus, so he opened it and lo and behold he saw some 
chick hanging out a real small window, her pretty ass 
making an inviting target. 


        Jeri heard the washroom door open. "Beltran, is 
that you?" She then felt some one grab her by the waistband 
of her pants. "Guess again, sweetheart," that same cold and 
menacing voice said behind her and she began to whimper in 
fear, then without warning she was pulled out of the window 
and found herself begin dragged towards the washroom door. 
She started to raise a fuss, but when she saw what was left 
of the cast of Voyager she let out one long, loud terrified 
scream before she fainted. 

        LT.Hit-Man dragged his prisoner out of the bus, but 
before he went back to his cloaked ship he heard the 
wailing of sirens in the distance. He unclipped his 
lightsaber, activated it and carved on the side of the bus, 
"LT.Hit-Man was here." Then he ran to his ship. 

        "What, another playmate?" Rusty said when the med 
droid saw the unconscious woman slung over LT.Hit-Man's 
shoulder. It started to take out some medical tools ready 
to work over the new "guest" that had been brought aboard. 

        "Back off you bucket of bolts, you've had your fun 
for one day," LT.Hit-Man said as he pointed over to the 
slowly healing Anton who had passed out after Rusty decided 
to take a peek at his internal organs, sans the anesthetic. 
LT.Hit-Man took out his last pair of stun cuffs and clamped 
them on Jeri Ryan's wrists, the he told Rusty to keep an 
eye on her. 

        LT.Hit-Man slid into the pilot's chair and got 
underway. 

        As "The Fearmeister" flew though the night air of 
LA LT.Hit-Man felt his guts rumble. 

        "Hmm, ya, it's time for something to eat. Had a 
long and busy day today," LT.Hit-Man muttered as he put the 
ship on auto-pilot and got up to start rummaging around for 
something to eat. 

        Jeri Ryan had woken up a few hours ago. She had 
looked around to see herself in a set of strange handcuffs. 
All in all under different circumstances it could be a 
pleasant thing. She looked around her and she saw that she 
was in a fairly small room, then she heard someone moan. 
Jeri managed to get to her feet and she looked around. When 
she saw the worked-over Anton she let out a strangled gasp 
as she backed away right into Rusty who was in standby 
mode. When she bumped into him he reached out and pinched 
her on the ass, scaring her even worse than she already 
was. "Who's there?" she demanded, trembling in fear as 
Rusty said, "The one who loves ya babe, the one who loves 
you." There was a low chuckle. Jeri spun around to see a 
night made real standing before her. 

        "Rusty, you will not molest our gust," the towering 
cyborg said to the strange robot that had just accosted 
her. Jeri saw that the strange armor that he was wearing 
was still covered in blood. The blood of her co-workers, 
she thought to herself. Somehow she managed to speak. "What 
do you want with me? And what about that guy?" she asked, 
then she pointed to Anton who was just starting to come 
around. 

        LT.Hit-Man looked down at Jeri. "I want you to sir 
down and be quiet. As for him," LT.Hit-Man walked over to 
Anton who started to scream like he had his balls in a vice 
and was quickly silenced with a cuff to the head. "He 
annoyed me. Don't make the same mistake." 

        Jeri had sat down and made herself as comfortable 
as she could. All the while she just stared at the insane 
cyborg as he flew the ship. When Jeri realized that she was 
in some kind of a ship she began to panic but the metal 
images of her being slowly brutalized to death keep her 
sitting there quietly waiting for whatever was to happen to 
happen. 

        When she saw the cyborg get up from his seat and 
start rooting around for something, the low flame of cold 
fear began to flare up like a sun spot. 

        "Damn, I need something else to eat than this," 
LT.Hit-Man grumbled as he sat back down, then after a few 
minutes he let out a chuckle and changed the ship's course 
and speed. 

********** 

[LA 7-11] 

	  Joe Jackmoff was bored out of his mind. He had four 
more hours of putting up with crackheads on a munchie trip, 
as well as the potheads and seep freaks coming for coffee; 
hell, he even had an old lady who must have been at least 
sixty years old try to put the make on him. 

	  All Joe wanted to do was go home and see if there 
were any new pictures on Alt.Fat.Bloated.Rooster.Corpses. 
After all, his online name wasn't Fuck a Doodle Doo for 
nothing, you know.

	  "Hey Brad, are we well stocked up on the fritos?" 
Joe called into the back room. It was 1 am. It was slow so 
he decided that he and Brad might as well catch up on 
stocking the shelves before the 2:30 am rush. 

	  "No, I was busy fixing the damn slurpy machine!" 
Brad called from the back room as he was filling out the 
order forms for more slurpy mix. "Fine, I'll take care of 
myself. Come and watch the counter," Joe grumbled as he 
started to make his way into the store room.

**********

        LT.Hit-Man was about to leave the ship when he got 
an idea. "Rusty, if you get bored while me and this lady 
here are out, you can work some more on the bitch." LT.Hit-
Man gave Anton a slap up side the head to wake him up, 
grinning malevolently as he saw Anton's eyes open, then he 
added, "But do not kill him and keep him in good health." 
Then he took out a slaver's collar. 

        "I think we can dispense with these." And with a 
flick of his fingers the stun cuffs unlocked and fell to 
the ship's deck. "Stay close to me. If you try and run, 
you'll be in for a "shocking" surprise. Is that 
understood?" LT.Hit-Man said to Jeri, who just nodded her 
head as she rubbed her sore wrists, then the two of them 
stepped out of "The Fearmeister". 

        Brad Fishman was counting the money in the till 
when the doors slid open. Brad looked to see who had 
entered the store and he was torn between fear and lust, 
fear at the sight of the freak cyborg wannabe in bloody 
stormtrooper armor and lust at the sight of a woman who was 
a dead ringer for Jeri Ryan  A.K.A. 7 of 9. 

        "I demand corn chip excellence! Where are your 
Fritos?!" LT.Hit-Man said in a Vaderesque voice as he gave 
the wage slave behind the counter his third more evil 
glare, the one reserved for old ladies, Ewoks and Imperial 
technicians. 

        "Ahhh, we're just stocking up right now, sir," Brad 
said, half looking at the bloody freak and half looking at 
the woman's huge breasts. "That is unacceptable! I want 
those corn chip, not excuses!" LT.Hit-Man snarled, then he 
turned to his captive. "Jeri, go and get six bottles of 
coke while I deal with this pitiful sub-human."

	Jeri Ryan slowly walked towards the back where the 
pop was being kept, praying that she would get out of this 
mess alive.

	Brad just stood there, not believing what he just 
heard. "Is that really Jeri Ryan?" he said in awe. This was 
way beyond his understanding. Shit like this only happened 
in movies, novels and fan fics. 

	LT.Hit-Man could see the lust in the wage slave's 
eyes and decided to play a game with him. "Yes, it's her." 
He just about smiled as he saw that the wage slave was 
about ready to cream his jeans, then he added, "Perhaps if 
you get me the fritos I may let you have her autograph." 
Brad just about dropped a log when he heard that and ran 
into the back store room. 

	"Holy shit, Joe, you'll never believe what the fuck 
is going on!" Brad said exactly as he saw Joe looking 
around for the fritos.

	"Brad, what the fuck are you doing back here! You 
know there is supposed to be someone at the till at all 
times," he said as he looked at his co-worker who was 
jumping around like someone lit his jeans on fire. 

	"Fuck that shit, there's a really freaky gut out 
there and you'll never guess who's with him!" Brad said as 
he felt his blood began to burn with lust. 

	"This had better be good or you in so much shit with 
the manger when I put you on report," Joe said as he went 
back to looking for the fritos. 

	"Oh it is, Jeri Ryan's with this guy," Brad said as 
he started to help Joe look for the fritos.
 
	"Are you bullshitting me?" Joe said as his mind 
flashed back to one of his many fantasies that involved 
Jeri Ryan, six dead roosters and a tube of KY Jelly. 

	"It's true, I swear! And he's will to have her give 
me an autograph so long as I get him some fuckin' fritos!" 
Brad shouted at Joe who found himself in a similar state of 
excitement. "FUCK, WHY DID'NT YOU SAY SO IN THE FIRST 
PLACE!" Joe yelled, and the two of them began to tear the 
store room apart in order to find the fritos. 

	LT.Hit-Man started to stroll though the candy section 
of 7-11 when he saw something that caught his eye. "Hmm, 
Fizz-wiz. Never tried that." He picked up a pack of Fizz-
wiz, tore the top off and put some it on his tongue and 
smiled as it began to fizz up really good. "Whooo, that's 
sour!" LT.Hit-Man said as he scooped up the box and put it 
on the counter. Jeri Ryan walked over to him with the six 
bottles of coke that he had "asked" for and placed them on 
the counter as well. "Is there anything else you want?" she 
asked in her cold 7 of 9 voice. She was scared shitless, 
but she was not going to let this bastard see that. 

	LT.Hit-Man just shook his head and waited for the 
wage slave to bring him his fritos, his annoyance growing 
with each passing second.

	The 7-11 wage slaves tore the stock apart and to 
their horror they found that they were fresh out of fritos. 
With dread in their hearts they walked out into the store 
wondering how bad this freak was going to take the news 
that they were out of fritos.

	"Ahh, sir, I have some bad news for you. We're all 
out," Brad said as he walked to the till, seeing the small 
mountain of goodies that the freak cyborg wannabe had 
placed there. 

	LT.Hit-Man's eyes narrowed into hateful slits as he 
raised his human hand towards the wage slave that had told 
him the bad news. "I find you lack of fritos most 
annoying," he snarled as he unleashed the full fury of his  
dark side lighting, turning the loser wage slave into fine 
ash. 

	"Ahh shit!" Joe yelped as he reached for his colt .45  
as he heard the loony freak that just gave his co-worker a 
really bad case of heart burn as well as everything else 
burn. "I should have taken that job with the army's 
biomedical experiments instead of this job," Joe said he 
saw the loony toon look at him. 

	LT.Hit-Man smiled that cold smile of his as he saw 
the other wage slave reach behind his back, knowing that 
the fool was about to pull a weapon. LT.Hit-Man said in a 
voice that sounded like that of a doomed, balding shoe 
salesman with a hellish home life, "Let's pillage!" 

	Jeri Ryan just stood there stunned, her mind unable 
to comprehend seeing someone deep fried dark side style, 
but what she didn't know was that she was about to bare 
witness to a real horror show. 

	Joe whipped out the .45 and let lose with a wild shot 
that skimmed pass the loony cyborg's head, just missing 
Jeri's head and slamming though the glass door and out into 
the street where it slammed though the windshield of the 
leader of the Los Waygos's car, killing his girlfriend of 
the day as a drug deal between the Los Waygos and the 
Cobators was underway. Thinking that it's a setup, the 
leader of the Los Waygos orders his men to waste the 
Cobators, starting a gang battle that would escalate into a 
full blown shooting war. 

	LT.Hit-Man used the dark side to rip the .45 from 
Joe' shaky hands, breaking three of his fingers in the 
process. 

	"My turn, you low down Jawa fucking freak!" LT.Hit-
Man snarled as he Force leapt into the air, landing beside 
the wage slave who was now emptying his bladder and bowels 
at the same time. 

	LT.Hit-Man grabbed Joe in a head lock and was about 
to break his neck like a dry human leg bone when he got a 
really nasty idea. Slowly, he began to drag his screaming 
and kicking victim towards the object of his demise. 

	LT.Hit-Man grabbed Joe by the back of his head with 
his cybernetic hand as Jeri's screams start to counterpoint 
Joe's fearful shrieks nicely. LT.Hit-Man waited for a few 
minutes to drink deeply of the fear and death that now 
filling the air with it's rich scent, then he slammed Joe's 
mouth over the spout of a slurpy machine that is filled 
with ultra sour cherry sugar bomb slurpy, snapping off a 
few of his teeth as he says, "Say ahh mother-kriffer!" in a 
pleasantly loony voice, reaching for the handle to open the 
spout. 

	"That's right, suck it down! You filthy whore!" 
LT.Hit-Man said in the voice of one of his fav video game 
heroes, a hero with much attitude and pipe bombs to boot, 
as he opened the spout to maximum output. 

	Joe's pitiful screams were turned into low gurgling 
sounds as the ultra sour cherry sugar bomb slurpy started 
to flood his body like a swarm of Borg nanites while 
LT.Hit-Man grinned that soul destroying grin that Joe's 
terror glazed eyes took in as he started to slowly drown. 

	Then just as Joe was about croak, LT.Hit-Man shut the 
spout off and let go for the gagging Joe, who started to 
puke his guts out. LT.Hit-Man waited for it to start, then 
the moment came to pass and LT.Hit-Man reached out with the 
dark side to amplify the bone chilling cold that was slowly 
ripping Joe's mind and body apart a thousand fold and 
cackles gleefully as poor old Joe dies from the mother of 
all brain freezes. 

	Then LT.Hit-Man turned to Jeri Ryan, who looked like 
she was ready to drop dead of fright. "Perhaps you think 
you are being treated unfairly?" LT.Hit-Man said to her as 
he began to loot the 7-11. As he looted the place, lo and 
behold, there in the very bottom corner of the chip rack 
was a lone bag of fritos. 

	LT.Hit-Man picked up the bag with a joyful smile that 
turned to a snarl of hate. "Damn it, this is just plain 
fritos, not too super hot, scorch your asshole off super 
hot!" Someone would pay most dearly for this contemptible 
outrage.

	After loading up with the loot, LT.Hit-Man took a 
proton grenade, set it for five minutes arms it and threw 
it into the 7-11. 

	As he and Jeri were walking out of the 7-11 at a 
leisurely pace, LT.Hit-Man suddenly stopped. He could sense 
a presence close by. An alien presence. LT.Hit-Man reached 
out with the Force and put a choke hold on the alien. 
"That's right, show yourself, you son of a bitch!" LT.Hit-
Man said as the air to the left of him and Jeri shimmered, 
and standing there was a tall alien cover with a light 
black netting that held the bones of it's victims. There 
was a slivery mask on it's face, on it's left shoulder was 
a small device that was slowly swiveling towards him. 

	"Don't try it, don't even think about it," LT.Hit-Man 
said as he slowly increased the pressure of the choke hold 
and the strange device stopped. 

**********

	T'isrrka was on his journey towards manhood. His 
father, the venerable Y'rvic, had sent him to this 
primitive world to bring a trophy of his first hunt. His 
people had come to this world for thousands of years to 
hunt the most dangerous of animals that they knew of, man, 
but it had been a bad hunt so far. He had not found any 
worthy prey. A few gang bangers here, a cop there. It 
looked like that he would return home in shame, but 
something led him to this place. As he watched he saw a 
cyborg. Apparently this human was more advanced than any 
his people had ever seen. 

	T'isrrka watched as this strange human along with a 
female walked into the food repository. From the way the 
cyborg walked, the lethal and cold look in it's eyes, he 
could tell that this cyborg was a predator much like him. 
Truly this human's skull would bring him much honor when he 
went home, so like all good hunters he watched his prey 
waiting for the right moment to strike. 

	As he watched this human cyborg kill the other two 
human males with such casual brutality, he knew that the 
moment was upon him, the moment where the hunter and the 
hunted would clash in a deadly game of life and death. He 
silently prowled towards the food repository, his lethal 
weapons and even more lethal skills at the ready. 

	But without any warning whatsoever, his prey turned 
towards him. T'isrrka made the mistake of freezing up as 
his prey was looking right at him, knowing that he was 
there despite the cloaking shield he wore, then the cyborg 
raised a hand towards him and T'isrrka found the life being 
strangled from him. The human spoke, commanding him to show 
himself as the pressure around his throat increased most 
painfully. Over the long month he had spent on this world, 
T'isrrka gain a full understanding of the human's primitive 
language, so he could understand what this most worthy 
being was saying and an idea took root in his mind. 

	T'isrrka dropped his cloaking shield. As he did he 
felt the strangling start to ease up. It was apparent that 
this human wanted something from him other than to kill him 
or it would have so already, giving him the time to make 
one attack that would either spare him or kill him should 
he fail to end this human's life. 

	As the cloaking shield winked into nothingness, 
T'isrrka start to target the human with his phased particle 
beamer, but the human was not shocked by the sight of him. 
Most of the human he had hunted froze in shock at sight of 
his non-human form, giving him the precious few second to 
make the kill, but this human was not unsettled by the 
sight of him and he knew that his gamble had failed and he 
was going to die.  But when the human told him to back off, 
T'isrrka stopped targeting the human. At first he thought 
that this human was just delaying the inevitable, but 
something in his cold human eye told him that this human 
did not want to kill him in cold blood. Perhaps he wanted a 
duel. Truly this was a warrior with a sense of honor. 
T'isrrka would listen to what this human had to say. 

**********

	LT.Hit-Man saw that the alien was going to listen to 
reason. For some unknown reason he did not want to kill 
this alien; maybe he could see some of himself in this 
being. The killer instinct, the grim will to fight and 
survive at all costs. He could respect that. 

	"Right, take off that mask. I want to see who I'm 
dealing with," LT.Hit-Man said as he eased up on the Force 
choke hold and watched as the alien reached up and slowly 
unhooked his mask from a set of hoses that were hooked into 
the mask. 

	Once the mask was removed, LT.Hit-Man and T'isrrka 
stood there eyeballing each other for a few minutes, then 
T'isrrka spoke, "Who the hell are you?" 

	"I'm LT.Hit-Man of the Galactic Empire. Leave this 
world. We're coming soon, and we're going to put this 
planet under our boots and you don't want to be here when 
we do!" LT.Hit-Man said in his most menacing voice. 
T'isrrka looked at this human and he knew that it would be 
a wise idea to leave and leave soon. 

	LT.Hit-Man looked this being over. He could tell that 
this being was hunter much like the Hirogens, then he got a 
really nasty idea. LT.Hit-Man took the slaver's collar off 
of Jeri Ryan, who was now just about ready to faint from 
fright. "I can see that you are out for some trophies," 
LT.Hit-Man as he pushed Jeri towards the alien. "Here's one 
that is sure to bring you some honor back home." 

	T'isrrka just looked down at the human woman with a 
toothy grin, and when she saw that grin she just stood 
there unable to believe what was happening. 

	T'isrrka grabbed Jeri, threw her over his shoulder, 
and turned and looked at LT.Hit-Man. They exchanged an 
understanding nod, then T'isrrka fled into the night with 
his screaming prize. Yes, this hunt had been a good one. 

	LT.Hit-Man made tracks as the 7-11 was reduced to 
flames. Now it was time to leave. He had his fun for the 
day. 

********** 

[At the wormhole] 

	"This is Commander Mrith'hele'arana. I am now 
entering the wormhole. Looks bad in there, but I should be 
able to get though it no problem," Cmd. Mrith'hele'arana 
said in a clipped voice, steeling her grim resolve to get 
this mission done. The wormhole looked like a bloody gaping 
maw of some nightmarish creature. 

	With that said she gunned the modded combat shuttle 
into the jaws of hell. 

********** 

	As LT.Hit-Man gunned the ship past Mars heading back 
towards the wormhole that brought him, he looked over his 
shoulder at his captive who was quietly trembling with 
mindless fear. Rusty had real worked him over while he and 
Jeri had been at the 7-11. He was still pissed that he did 
not get his fritos. "Well, you can't have everything you 
want when you want it," he though to himself as he sat back 
and lit himself up a stogie after he put the ship back on 
auto-pilot. 

	LT.Hit-Man was in a good mood. He really had fun with 
his last in-your-face move before heading out into deep 
space. 

	As "The Fearmeister" screamed up into the Earth's 
atmosphere, he got a strange reading on his instruments. He 
decided that he had the time to take a quick look so he set 
course to the readings and lo and behold what did our 
lovable hero see? The space station "Freedom". 

********** 

[CNN news broadcast] 

	"This is Mike Wallace with a live broadcast from the 
Space Station Freedom, which was just finished earlier 
today." 

	(cut to the main module of the space station) 

	"This is Larry King live from the just completed 
Space Station Freedom. I am talking with the crew of the 
Space Station Freedom, members from fifteen different 
countries." 

	(cut to a shot of the Freedom's crew, ginning 
stupidly) 

	Larry King floats over to a tall burly guy in an 
astronaut suit with the Armenian flag on the left side of 
his chest. "This is mission commander Fred Finklseint. So 
Fred, what do you have to say about this momentous 
occasion?" 

	"Well, Larry, it's the happiest moment of my life to 
be here and to be a part of history," Fred said as he 
slowly bobbed around in zero-g. "It's an amazing view from 
up here." The camera swung around to look out a small 
viewport. 

	(cut to a shot of the Earth in orbit surrounded by 
the cold blackness of space) 

	"Yes it's su-" Fred's words died off as the space 
outside the view port began ripple, like water when someone 
throws a stone in it. Most of the people on Earth were 
watching the news broadcast, so when "The Fearmeister" 
shimmered in view people started to watch intently with a 
mixture of fear and wonder. 

	"OH SHIT!" Larry King said as he felt like his bowels 
were about to let go. The rest of the Freedom's crew felt 
the same way.

	Every military force on Earth was running around like 
a headless chicken. This was a moment that they had been 
waiting for with fear and dread as they scrambled to their 
assigned posts. 

	"Ahh, sir?" Astronaut Lo Wang, the station's chief 
communication's officer called out. His face was pure 
white. 

	"What is it?" Fred asked Wang, who told him that he 
was receiving a strange message. 

	"This is Larry King live from the Space Station 
Freedom, where an alien spacecraft has appeared just a few 
minutes ago and is now trying to communicate with us," 
Larry said breathless as the world watched in stunned 
amazement. "Wang, open the channel, will you?" Fred said as 
he forced down his fear as fate called out to him. 

	LT.Hit-Man started to snicker to himself when he 
heard, "This Mission commander Fred Finklseint of the Earth 
space station Freedom. We mean you no harm." 

	"Right, game time," he whispered to himself as he 
answered back. Anton was gagged so he would not interfere, 
but he had a perfect view of the space station. 

	"I have a present for you, special delivery NO 
C.O.D., courtesy of The Galactic Empire!" was the message 
that came back to the crew of the Freedom and they watched 
in horror was a pair of concussion missiles streaked 
towards them. They had time for a brief scream as the 
missiles slammed into the main module and blasted it into 
twisted scrap metal. 

	LT.Hit-Man started to laugh as he watched the 
stricken space station start falling towards the Earth. He 
watched for a few more minutes, then he slowly made his way 
into deep space.

********** 

[Just past Mars]

	LT.Hit-Man was enjoying a leisurely flight as he 
finished watching Anton freak out over the arbitrary 
destruction of the Space Station Freedom. This had turned 
out to be a fine day for him; not what he had hoped for, 
but all in all it was just fine by him. 

	Anton just watched as this loony cyborg sat down.  
LT.Hit-Man looked over his shoulder and smiled an evil 
smile as if to say "You're going to get it really bad when 
we get to where we're going" and then he started to regret 
his idiotic posts he had made on the net as despair slowly 
robbed him of the will to do anything but sit there as 
images of horrific suffering flashed though his mind. 

	As "The Fearmeister" was making it's way to the 
wormhole, it started to slow down and then came to a stop. 
"I can't believe this!" LT.Hit-Man yelled as he pounded the 
ship's flight panel with his fist. "Out of kriffing fuel!" 

	LT.Hit-Man just sat down, pulled out a data pad and 
started to play a game, waiting for the end. He was pissed, 
but there was nothing he could do about it. "I'm going to 
die in this shithole of a galaxy. What a way to go," he 
thought as he made his way though the fist six levels of an 
old Earth video game called Doom2. 

	A few hours later, after having finished Doom2 a few 
times with only the chainsaw and no cheat codes, LT.Hit-Man 
put the data pad down and kicked his feet up as the power 
started to fail. His only regret was that he never had the 
chance to tell his wife that he loved her, and goodbye. 

	Anton knew that the end was coming soon and he 
started to cry like a baby while blubbering that he did not 
want to die. 

	LT.Hit-Man got up from his seat, pulled out his E-11 
and put it to Anton's head. The last thing he wanted to 
hear was this asshole's whining. Besides, he could afford 
to be merciful for once, even if it was at the closing of 
his life. 

	"Trust me, it's better this way," LT.Hit-Man said as 
he tightened up on the trigger, but suddenly there was a 
low beeping from the ship's tactical display. LT.Hit-Man 
walked over to the display and saw that there was a ship 
heading his way. 

	"Oh hell yes!" LT.Hit-Man said as he read the other 
ship's IFF and saw that it was an Imperial ship. "We're 
going home buddy boy!" LT.Hit-Man said to Anton, who let 
out a sob. He knew that a shot to the head would be better 
then what this loony had planed for him. Yes, when LT.Hit-
Man had put the weapon to his head he found the guts to 
make his peace with the universe, but now he was in for a 
long, painful time before he died, and started sobbing even 
more. The dark side was not going to let either of them off 
that easily. 

	"This is the combat shuttle "Bonebreaker". I have you 
in my sights; stand by for docking," LT.Hit-Man heard over 
the comm-system. "Commander Mrith'hele'arana! It's good to 
hear from you! When we get back I'm buying you a round of 
beers, then I'm buying the whole damn bar," he said as he 
sat back down and waited for the combat shuttle to dock 
with his ship. 

	After the "Bonebreaker" docked with "The 
Fearmeister", Commander Mrith'hele'arana crossed the 
boarding hatch, and when she saw Anton, her faced twisted 
up with disgust. 

	LT.Hit-Man saw the look that the Commander gave Anton 
and he could tell that she was wondering why in the name of 
the Sith did he have this person on his ship. He waited for 
her to pop the question. He did not have very long to wait. 

	"I take it this person annoyed you?" she asked as 
they began to refuel "The Fearmeister".

	"Yep, so I thought I'd bring him back and sic a few 
mouse droids on him," LT.Hit-Man told her as he finished 
hooking up the fuel line to his ship's intake port. 

	Anton heard the strange alien lady let out a chuckle 
when the loony cyborg told her what he had planned for 
Anton, he started to get angry, but he damn well knew that 
if he said anything he was going to get hurt very, very 
badly. "I wish I had a gun. I'd shoot you for that you blue 
ass bitch!" he though as he watched the two of them work on 
the ship. 

	Commander Mrith'hele'arana was abut to go back to the 
"Bonebreaker" when she saw the dirty look that Anton was 
giving her. "What's your problem?" she asked as she felt 
her anger starting to rise, but when Anton just sat there 
giving her that withering glare she walked over to him and 
wiped the look off of his face with a vicious back hand to 
the face that sent a few of his teeth bouncing off of the 
bulkhead. 

	LT.Hit-Man started to snicker as he watched the 
Commander put the smack down on his prisoner. "Don't worry 
Commander, I'll make sure he suffers for that. You can 
count on that," LT.Hit-Man said. Commander Mrith'hele'arana 
shot Anton a cheerful yet malevolent smile, and said to the 
cowering man, "After the first five seconds of having 
LT.Hit-Man working on you, your going to wish it was me 
that was ending your miserable life you low down son of a 
bitch." And when she heard his name she just laughed out 
and started to snicker and LT.Hit-Man start to laugh evilly 
with her. She felt a lot better as she went back to the 
"Bonebreaker" and started to pump the fuel to LT.Hit-Man's 
ship. 

	Once LT.Hit-Man's ship was refueled, they headed back 
to the wormhole, all the while Anton was sobbing like a 
baby. 

********** 

[Back on Earth, CIA HQ] 

	Five grim people sat in a lowly lit room deciding the 
fate of the Earth. LT.Hit-Man's rampage had caused so much 
civil unrest as a small gang war started to get way out of 
hand as the two gangs called in their allies, which in turn 
brought various mobs into the fight, each of them wanting 
to take out their competition as body counts started to 
rise. The massacre at the Star Trek convention and the 
butchery of the cast and crew of Voyager had the more rabid 
trekkies out hunting for anyone who was a Star Wars 
supporter, and that caused the more rabid Star Wars 
supporters to return the favour in spades. That had started 
at a protest/gathering of trekkies who were marching down 
the street, while coming down the another street was a 
group of warsies, when they ran into each other 
unexpectedly. There were few cops that could be spared as 
most of the LAPD was trying and failing to contain the gang 
war. 

	The trekkies and warsies were generally being 
peaceful, but the tension was growing as each side claimed 
that Star Wars or Star Trek was better. As the shouting 
match started to reach it's high point, someone fired a 
shot, and then came a bloody free-for-all that left 
thousands dead or horribly maimed on both sides before the 
cops showed up. 

	When the few members of the LAPD showed up, and after 
a short but brief skirmish with the cops, both the trekkies 
and the warsies withdrew, each side declaring that this was 
now a holy war to the bitter and bloody end as they took 
their dead and wounded with them. Both sides would meet in 
secret as they gathered in numbers to make their plans that 
would lead to random shootings and bomb attacks. 

	The general population of the Earth was scared to 
death. The obliteration of the Space Station Freedom had 
them in a panic as they expected a full out-and-out alien 
invasion. The conspiracy nuts were having a field day as 
their rhetoric fanned the flame of chaos. People no longer 
looked at them like they were crackpots; no, people were 
starting to listen to them and in some of the poorer 
countries there were open revolutions against their 
governments. 

	"So it's agreed then?" Jake Rockwell said to his 
gathered colleagues. They all agreed that it was time for 
martial law to be enforced thought out the United States. 
US troops were recalled back home to put down the growing 
civil unrest, which in turn caused other UN countries to 
withdraw their troops that were on peace keeping duty. Once 
that was done the countries that had been biding their time 
began to settle old scores. Millions died before the 
fighting died down, and the UN died as other countries said 
to hell with it. 

	Jake Rockwell, however, was a rabid trekkie, but no 
one in the CIA knew this and he had his own agenda, thus 
Section 31 was born and soon the third world war came to 
pass and history played itself out as it was meant to be. 


********** 

[Back home] 

	"This is the Combat Shuttle "Bonebreaker" requesting 
permission to dock." 

	"This LT.Hit-Man I'm back!, did ya all miss me?"

	"The Fearmeister" and the "Bonebreaker" had to fly in 
tandem. A power overload circuit on the "Bonebreaker" had 
cracked and fried out the entire power system on the 
"Bonebreaker". "The Fearmeister" had not gotten off that 
easily as well; soon after they had crossed through the 
wormhole, a micro-meteor had punctured the fuel tank of 
"The Fearmeister", venting out the ship's fuel, so after 
LT.Hit-Man did a short EVA to patch the hole in his ship's 
fuel tank, he and the Commander spent sixteen hours linking 
their ships systems together. While they were doing this 
LT.Hit-Man could sense the Commander's growing annoyance 
towards his prisoner. 

	"What are you staring at?" Commander Mrith'hele'arana 
snarled as they started to finish with the repairs, but all 
Anton did was sit there and stare at them. Just as the 
Commander was about to slap Anton yet again, he spoke. "Go 
ahead kill me if you can," he said as he waited for her to 
strike him down, and she was more then happy to oblige, but 
LT.Hit-Man stepped in. "Commander, he's just trying to 
rattle you. Like I said before, I'll see to it that he 
suffers for annoying not only me but you as well." From the 
tone in LT.Hit-Man's voice, Commander Mrith'hele'arana knew 
that the matter was not open to debate, so she backed off. 

	Anton knew that his life was over and he had nothing 
to lose, so he spoke yet again. "So what if you hurt me 
before I die? Once I'm dead I'll not remember what you did 
to me." Then it happened.

	LT.Hit-Man threw back his head and started laughing, 
scaring Anton badly, and to a lesser degree the Commander.  
"There are things worse then death, as you will find out 
soon enough," LT.Hit-Man said as he put a Force choke hold 
on Anton, and as he was slowly choking Anton into 
unconscious he gave Anton a long and unwanted look at the 
dark side that was hungrily waiting for his soul as it 
slowly tore Kate Mulgrew's soul apart then reformed it and 
began to torture her yet again. 

	Anton let out a soul shattering wail before he passed 
out as he learned that there was no escaping the wrath of 
LT.Hit-Man, alive nor dead. 

	When the ships landed in the _Revenger's_ hangar bay, 
LT.Hit-Man put the slaver's collar that he had used on Jeri 
Ryan around Anton's neck and the three of them made their 
way to towards the hanger bay's turbolift while the crewers 
looked on, wondering who the poor SOB was that was with 
them. 

	"Tell me, Commander, have you ever played the old 
Earth game Doom2?" LT.Hit-Man asked as they got into the 
turbolift. 

	Commander Mrith'hele'arana looked at LT.Hit-Man. His 
face was blank. She was not sure where he was going with 
this question, but she knew she was going to find one way 
or the other, so she decided to play along with LT.Hit-Man. 
"No I have not. Is it a good game?" 

	"Yes it is. You should play it some time," LT.Hit-Man 
said as he took off his backpack of goodies and pulled out 
a small chainsaw. He handed the chainsaw to the Commander, 
who had a calm but slightly puzzled look on her face. Then, 
LT.Hit-Man handed her the controller for Anton's slaver's 
collar. 

	"Have fun. I have more important things to take care 
of," LT.Hit-Man said as he got off the turbolift when it 
reached the bridge. As he stepped out of the turbolift, he 
saw the wicked smile on Commander Mrith'hele'arana's face, 
and he knew that Anton was in for a long, painful death. 
Not as painful as what LT.Hit-Man had planned for him, but 
it would do. 

	"Hey Lucy, I'm home," LT.Hit-Man said in a cheesy 
Ricky Ricardo voice. When he saw his wife, he went to hug 
her, but he stopped up short when he saw the look of 
fearful confusion in her eyes. 

	"Hon, what's wrong?" he asked as the unfamiliar 
feelings of fear and dread began to twist his guts. Daala 
could see the look of fear in her husband's human eye and 
the stress of her secret finally got to her. "I'm 
pregnant," she blurted out, and there was a gasp from the 
bridge crew. They had been wondering why she had been in 
such a disjointed state of mind; now they knew, and they 
watched and waited to see how LT.Hit-Man was going to take 
the news with much fear. 

	"Huh?" was all LT.Hit-Man said, feeling like Daala 
had walked up to him and out of the blue kicked him in the 
nuts. "How?" was all he could say as he slowly walked 
towards her. As he listened to his wife explain what had 
happened with her derma implant, he felt his mind make a 
long jump into hyperspace as the shocking unreality of it 
all left him in a daze. 

********** 

[The Afterlife] 

	"A mean bastard are you," Yoda said as he tried to 
hide his chuckling. 

	"This is a hoot," Anakin Skywalker said before he 
started to laugh his head off. 

	"This is going to fun," Obi-wan said as he willed a 
drink into existence and drank it down.
 
	"Now we shall have our revenge!" Darth Maul said as 
he started to roll on the ground, laughing his ass off. 

	"Why, thank you. I was bored, so I decided to have 
some fun at my left hand of death's expense," Emperor 
Palpatine said as he watched the drama on the _ Revenger's_ 
bridge unfold. It had taken all of his waning dark side 
powers to speed up Daala's absorption of her derma-plant 
without making her sick. He knew that his time had come and 
gone, but he was not going to sit back in the hereafter 
without causing one last bit of trouble for the living. 
This was truly to be a fitting legacy of his. Both galaxies 
would know the true meaning of terror. 

	All the Jedi and the Sith of ages past came to see 
what the new arrivals were up to. When they found out, they 
all started to laugh with them. 

	"Just wait until LT.Hit-Man gets here and finds out 
what I have done," Emperor Palpatine said with a howl. He 
would cherish that look in his third favourite person's 
face when he found out he was reasonable for Daala's derma-
plant failure for all of eternity. 

********** 

	LT.Hit-Man reached out with his human hand and put it 
on Daala's belly and let out a shocked gasp as his Force 
sense showed he what he wanted to know. 

	"TRIPLETS!!!!!" LT.Hit-Man yelled joyously. Daala 
just about fainted with shock. GA.Sheppard and the rest of 
the bridge crew let a cry of utter despair as the mental 
image of three miniature versions of LT.Hit-Man running 
around raising the Sith came to mind. 

	Daala looked into her husband's human eye and saw 
that he was overjoyed, but before she could say anything he 
pulled her close to him and kissed her long and hard. After 
about ten minutes, or so it seemed that long, they broke 
their loving embrace and they both knew that they were in 
for their greatest challenge yet, but they would both meet 
it head on and would enjoy every chaotic minute of it. 

********** 

[The end of the wars] 

	The Borg were all but destroyed. A week after LT.Hit-
Man had gotten back from his last fan fic review, he went 
back to the Borg home world and engaged in a truly savage 
revenge. The Borg queen's head was mounted above his 
fireplace on his luxurious home on Risa. What was left of 
the Borg were thankful to the Empire for freeing them and 
they joined the Empire and would serve them faithfully as 
the most feared shocktroops under LT.Hit-Man's command 
after LT.Hit-Man trained them in the arts of war. 

	Species 8472 sued for peace with the Empire after the 
Sheppard unleashed the bio-toxin in fluidic space. Once the 
Empire and Species 8472 cut a deal, the deal being that 
Species 8472 would stay in fluidic space and the Empire 
would stay in their own space, Sheppard gave them the anti-
toxin and that was that. 

	The Federation, Romulans, Klingons and the rest of 
the galaxy knew they were beat, so they stopped fighting 
and joined the Empire, and life was good for them all. 

	The Empire went back home and laid waste the New 
Republic. Yes, the New Republic had made a mess of things, 
brush wars here and there, crime was out of control and the 
infighting in the New Republic senate was so bad that 
nothing got done. 

	When the Empire showed up with over one billion 
warships, the People welcomed them as they watched the 
Empire root out the New Republic, then the criminal 
syndicates such as the Hutts and what was left of the Black 
Sun. They had been truly crying out for order and when the 
swift, vengeful hand of the Empire crushed the last of the 
New Republic, there was a year long celebration. 

	Spike Rush and Lord Wayne Poe, along with LT.Hit-Man, 
exterminated the Jedi and established a proud new Sith 
order that would truly work with the Empire to keep the 
peace in both galaxies. Spike would marry Jenny Talya and 
they would have a fine daughter that would become one of 
the reborn Sith's finest Battle Maidens as LT.Hit-Man and 
Daala's children would when their time came to join the 
Sith. 

	Daala had two boys and a girl, but due to an 
unexpected complication the triplets had to be delivered C-
section and it was touch and go for awhile, but they would 
grow up to be healthy children. The Emperor's dire 
prediction of dark terror that these three children would 
cause was way understated. Think of LT.Hit-Man and 
GA.Daala's kids as the Warner brothers and sister with vast 
Force powers as they were growing up and throw a practical 
joker streak that made Spike Rush's childhood wild side 
look lame and you're fairly close to how the Sith Triplets 
are. They had a mean streak fifty thousand light years long 
and fifty light years wide.  Needless to say, LT.Hit-Man 
and Daala had their work cut out for them. They loved every 
minute of it. 

	Rob, Ryan and Jessica (LT.Hit-Man and GA.Daala's 
kids) adored their older brother, and Spike took his new 
brothers and sister like a fish takes to water. Lord Wayne 
Poe would have his work cut out for him when they came for 
their formal Sith training on Yavin 4. 

	A new golden age had dawned on both galaxies. Peace 
and order, through superiour fire power, ruthlessness and 
Dark Side Force powers, was established. 

	Don't you just love a happy ending? 

                                                              
					THE END.