From: "LT.Hit-Man" Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars Subject: Re: [Nomination] ASVS Master Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 22:44:49 -0500 Chris O'Farrell wrote in message ... > >LT.Hit-Man wrote in message >news:91uh5q$5a8qf$1@ID-36661.news.dfncis.de... >> >> pablo_sanchez2000@my-deja.com wrote in message >> Absolutely right. I >> nominate Senator Palpatine for ASVS Master. >> > >> >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! >> > >> >I have been upstaged by a man who exists only on film! >> >> >> I hear by nominate myself as ASVS's high executioner. >> Anyone got a problem with that? >> *snap-hiss* > >/Sound of Fearmister engines reving >'Nope' >Sound of Hyperdrive kicking in The sound of _ The Fearmeister_'s hyperdrives kicking in, change to the sounds of Chris shouting in fear. As _ The Fearmeister_'s anti-theft deterent system kicks in. Bands of quadelium 5, impregnated with atoms of DU, snap around Chris's arms, legs and neck! Then, a small compartment in the pilot's seat between Chris's legs, pops open and spider mines begin to swarm over Chris's groin. Once there they began to spray a very slow acting acid over his nuts. "Well Chris it looks like you don't have to worry about birth control ever again!" LT.Hit-Man says as he entered his ship and watched Chris's suffering with unholy glee. "Or dating for that matter." He Added. After the spider mines finish their work LT.Hit-Man pulled out his E-11. Putting it to Chris's left shoulder. Then with a smile pulled the trigger! His manic laughter mixing with Chris's scream of pain and terror, as his left shouder was vaped in a spray of boiling blood, fried flesh and shattered bone. "The arm bone is connected to the shoulder bone!" LT.Hit-Man starts singing, in a voice that sounds like a cross between Emperor Palpatine's quite menacing tone and Jim Carry in his mask mode rolled into one. Then he put the E-11 to Chris's other shoulder and pulls the trigger, sending that arm and shoulder into history. "I thought after the first time your stole my ship, and what happened to you(See how to deal with a starship thief on the archive), you would get the hint. Leave my kriffing ship alone!" LT.Hit-Man said in a low snarl, as he pointed the E-11 at the smoking hole where Chris's manhood used to be. Then pointed it lower, as Chris began to cry like a baby, and blasted Chris's left knee cap clean off! The oily,smokey stench of charred flesh, mingling with the rich coppery tang of freshly spilled blood, that brought a cold, cruel smile to LT.Hit-Man's scarred face. "I mean, do you know how much trouble I went through to get a loan for this puppy?" LT.Hit-Man asked Chris as he mewled in agony. "I guess you don't." LT.Hit-Man said with a sigh and blasted Chris's right leg off at the hip! LT.Hit-Man slung his E-11 over his shoulder and pulled out his lightsaber, followed by a snap-hiss as the light saber's black blade sprung to life. Chris's eyes went even wider with terror, as LT.Hit-Man crouched down beside him in the blood and gore stained pilot's chair. "You must really like my ship, to keep getting your ass kicked like this!" LT.Hit-Man said to Chris, before he began to slowly cauterise the maimed stump where Chris's left shoulder use to be. Chris started to scream so loudly,that the pilots, tech. personnel and droids in the ISD _Federation's Doom_'s hanger bay, began to engage in savage hand-to-hand combat. As they ran to be the first ones to exit the bay where _ The Fearmeister_ was berthed! "Tell you what, since it's near Christmas time, I'm going to give you _The Fearmeister_!" LT.Hit-Man told Chris, with a smile so cold,it made the void of deep space seem like the surface of a sun going super nova in comparison. Then LT.Hit-Man began to cauterise the bleeding hole where Chris's right shoulder once was. "After all 'tis the season." LT.Hit-Man stated, as he finshed cauterising the rest of the, horrific, wounds he had inflicted, with such casual impunity on Chris. Chris started to blubber, as he tried deperately to beg for his life. But LT.Hit-Man simply melted his lips shut with his lightsaber. "And don't worry about getting me a present. Yes, I'm giving you my ship, and not only that, but I'm going to send you on a nice cruise as well. Because that's what a nice I am!" LT.Hit-Man told Chris, as he began to type in a course on _The Fearmeister_'s nav computer. Once that was done, he then ripped out all the controls for the nav system (after locking in the course he had typed), and set a countdown in the auto pilot for ten minutes. "Have a nice trip to the Maw, I hear that the black holes are really active this time of year. Be sure and get some good pictures, when you get within three inchs of the Event Horizon!" Chris began to mumble loudly, as he sees LT.Hit-Man sorted through a stack of CD's. LT. Hitman popped open a jewel case and inserted the disc. Selecting a Track, he put in on replay and cranked the volume to the max. "Every road trip needs some kick ass tunes! Enjoy it you lucky son of a bitch! Hehehehehehe!" LT.Hit-Man cackled as AC-DC's song "Highway to Hell" blared out from the speakers of _The Fearmeister_'s open comm system. LT.Hit-Man sealed up _The Fearmeister_'s hatch and watched as his, and now Chris's, ship took off from the hanger bay. On it's one way trip to the Maw. "Hon, what are you doing?" Grand Admerial Daala asked her husband, as she watched LT.Hit-Man open the weapons locker in their quarters. HE slung a Merr-Sonn Munitions PLX-2M missile tube over his shoulder with a grim look on his scarred face. "Well sweet-cakes, I'm going over to the Imperial Savings and Loans bank, to take out a loan for a new starfighter." LT.Hit-Man said to his wife, as he locked down a bandolier, of two Cryoban grenades, four C-22 frag grenades along with a Plank grenade and four class-A thremal detonators plus a proton grenade to boot, across the chest plate of his, blaster and phaser, scarred Stormtrooper armour. "Oh, what happened to the family ship?" GA.Daala asked, as LT.Hit-Man slung a BlasTech T-21 light repeating blaster over his other shoulder. "I gave _The Fearmeister_ to a friend of mine!' LT.Hit-Man said as he checked to see that his black bladed light saber was fully charged. Then hooked it onto his trooper belt. "That was nice of you sweety." GA.Daala said, before she got LT.Hit-Man in a lip lock. which LT.Hit-Man returned with a rapacious intensity, that left them both breathless after they broke their embrace! GA.Daala knew about Chris's unhealthy obsession with there families ship. She wholeheartly approved of her man's plan to deal with Chris, should he try to make another grab for _The Fearmeister_. "Don't worry Hon, I'm sure I can convince the ISLB to give me another loan." LT.Hit-Man said to GA.Daala, before he slapped a fresh clip into his E-11. The words that his old friend had once said "Pray I do not alter the deal any further." came to mind. "I'll have supper ready by the time you get back! If I should finish that before you get back, I'm going to head down to the brig and try out what I learnt in my force pike combat classes." GA.Daala said as she tied an apron around her slim waist, and began to cut up some fillets of ewok, for the stew she was going to make. "Oh why is that, love muffin?" LT.Hit-Man asked, as he took the time to watch his lovley wife move about the kitchen of their quarters. And felt a pang of lust, as she move gracfully from the ewok meat she was cutting up, to the hasprat roots that she began to peel with the butcher knife that she held in her skilled hands. As much as he wanted to strip out of his weapon-ladened armour, and blissfully ravage her right then and there, he had more pressing things to do at the moment, but when he got back....(well I'll leave *that* one to your imagination.) GA.Daala could feel the lusty stare that her husband was giving her, and she waggled her cute, bouncy behind before she looked over her shoulder and gave him an equally lusty gaze, "Well there are a few crewers that had made some rather rude comments about me. More to the point what they'd like to do to me, so I'm going to teach them how to respect a lady!" she said as she watched LT.Hit-Man lick his lips in a manner that left very little to the imagination. "Ok dear, but remember to give the force pike a sharp half-twist, in order to increase the damage and pain to the person that you are working over." LT.Hit-Man said, before he used Force Pull to bring his battered and dented stormtrooper helmet to his outstretched cybernetic hand, and added "On the way back, I'll pick up the kids from Lord Poe's Sith temple on Darven Major." "Ok hon, but Spike is on his first search and destroy mission for Grand Admrial Sheppard. It seems that there is a rememant of the old Federation, that has been raiding our convoys out near what once was Risa." GA.Daala said, as she began to add the spiced Ferengi eyeballs to the stewing pot. "I'm sure that Spike will do just fine! Shame he won't be here for Christmas." LT.Hit-Man said as he walked over and gave his wife another kiss. "Yes I'm sure he will be fine I just wished he could be here that's all. But, it's duty to the Empire first!" GA.Daala said wistfully, and when LT.Hit-Man went to leave their quarters she gave him a swat on his armoured ass. LT.Hit-Man took one look back at his wife, who leering at him, and by way of a Force Touch on her clit, he told her to be ready for a long night when he got back. Then LT.Hit-Man walked out of his families quarters, to make a deal with the ISLB. When he got to the ISD_Fedreation's Doom_'s hanger bay, he grabbed a pilot out of his Tie Interceptor and took off. All the while, he was thinking on what mods he should make to the new Tie Defender, the one he was yet going to snag. LT.Hit-Man -- " Someone one tell me why I come here for??...oh never mind I remember now, Fan Fics and to mangle anyone who annoys me,carry on."