Major Tierce <tierce@my-dejanews.com>

Here is a little fanfic I did inspired by Paul's idiotcy. I'm not trying to be
serious, just to have fun :)

Disclaimer: Lucas owns Star Wars. Paramount owns Star Trek. I own nothing.

[Pawn or Thrawn]

[Onboard the Federation cloaked ship, Sloan sits in his chair looking out at
the Imperial Stardestroyer Chimera. A fanatical Federation cultist walks over
to him.]

Sloan: You must be the new agent? Welcome to Section 31, ah, I'm sorry I
didn't get your name.

Person: Paul Jaques.

Sloan: Glad to meet you. (The two shake hands). Today I'm going to show you
how you can manipulate your enemy into doing your dirty work for you. Observe
(he points to the ISD).

Paul: What do we have here?

Sloan: That is a Imperial Stardestroyer in the command of a Chiss being who
goes by the name of Grand Admiral Thrawn. He's been leading a war against of
galactic government known as the New Republic. He and everyone believe that
he is the greatest military genius in this galaxy when in fact he is a mere
pawn.

Paul: But what's the point?

Sloan: We're using him to weaken the New Republic enough so that they'll be
forced into joining the Federation. So we're making so that he's winning the
war. Unfortunately we went a bit too far when we organized the Sluis Van
shipyard, so we had to reprogram all of Lando Calrissian's miner moles codes
to their original setting, but all in all, we're pleased with our progress.
We've been pulling the string all along, in fact, his bodyguard, Rukh, is one
of our spies.

Paul: Interesting.

Sloan: I think it's time for him to deliver his report.

[A Noghri Death Commando beams on board the bridge.]

Sloan: Greetings, Rukh.

Rukh: Greetings, Sloan clan Section 31.

Sloan: What is your report.

Rukh: The Grand Admiral is planning to attack Coruscant even as we speak.

Paul: But won't Thrawn know that his bodyguard just vanished?

Sloan: Don't be silly, Thrawn is an idiot. A pawn, if you get the pun. He is
not genius. Everything that he did happened according to my design.

Rukh: I see… (Rukh pulls out a dagger) Then it was you who betrayed my people,
not him. Die!! (The Noghri kills Sloan, and Paul could only turn in horror)

Paul: Oh my god, you killed Sloan. You bastard. (Paul pulls out a phaser and
shoots Rukh). Okay, what to do now?

Extra: Your in command now?

Paul: Well, we can't let Thrawn escape. I know! An ISD hull is made of
neutroinum or something alloy, right? We'll just use the old Dark Frontier
tactic. (Paul walks over to the ships computer and beams a torp) Done, I
beamed a Quantum torp on their warp core.

Extra: Um, Sir, Imperial Ships don't have warp cores.

Paul: (Looks at the computer) Wait, I beamed the torp on THIS ship's war… oh
shit! (Paul quickly runs off the bridge)

[Meanwhile, on the bridge of the ISD Chimera.]

Pallaeon: Admiral, the Federation cloaked vessel has been destroyed.

Thrawn: Excellent. Sloan really thought he could pull one over me.

Imperial Officer: Sir, we've detected an escape pod.

Thrawn: Bring it in.

[On the docking bay of the ISD, Thrawn walks to the pod to greet his guest.
Paul Jaques steps out.]

Paul: Mission accomplished.

Thrawn: Excellent work, Captain Sheppard.

-Major Tierce

Buffy:  "Your logic does *not* resemble our Earth logic."
Xander: "Mine is much more advanced."

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