Love by The Singular Quartet

So I said, "BOOM, BABY, BOOM" and she was so totally like "Oh, yes!"
as we crossed the parking lot. I don't even know if she knew my name,
and fuck, I didn't even know hers as we got into her car and drove
off towards her apartment.

And you know what? I didn't particularly give a shit, either,
because she was HOT, I was hot, and we both wanted some action.

So we got to her apartment, and started playing strip poker with her
penguin, but we kept losing because it had a full tux on and had
waaaaay more clothing than we did, so we were naked in her apartment,
with this half-naked penguin which turned out to be an iguana, so we
both went to her room,  and we were like "woh..."

So we talked for a while, and covered the usual bases. You know,
Soviet love satellites, narcissism in monasteries, and just how many
licks it is to the center of a tootsie pop , and we figured it was
somewhere between minus one, forty-two, and lazy eight.

And after alllll that, we had hot monkey sex involving several
implements of mass depravity, including hot dogs, chocolate-flavored
strawberry ice cream, and a very disturbed banana, and it went
loooooong into the night and it was loads of fun.

After that, I woke up in the morning, and was like "wow, that was a
messed up dream..." and ten I turned over, and there she was, naked
in the glory only afforded to goddesses of sex and sin, which I did
consider now her to be. And she awoke from her slumber, licking a
little bit of whipped cream from her lips (when did we use that?!)
and said "Morning deary! Want some more?!"

Naturally, I said yes.