> In article <8auf2s$bora$1@newssvr03-int.news.prodigy.com>,
> "Chuck" <CSONN@prodigy.net> wrote:
> >It's a conspiracy! A conspiracy I tell you! Reid is in reality
> >Lt. HIT-MAN himself! Yes! And he was on the grassy knoll too!
> >Yes! And he's the one who kidnapped Capt. Crunch! I have
> >proof!!!!!!
Oh shit they are on to me.
/me hops onto a plane for Wisconsin to deal with Chuck.
 

Heh heh heh, everything's going exactly as planned. I'll let Reid capture
me, tie me up, and tell me his plan so that I can escape and rescue the
captain!
DAMN YOU SOGGIES! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!

--
Chuck
"Beware the fury of a patient man" -John Dryden
 

MUHAHAHAHA my plan is going perfectly. I have already taken care of Oliver
Stone. And now when Chuck goes to rescue Cap. Crunch he will find him lying
back up in a bowl of milk. Then the whole place will blow go to hel as I
release 50 800Lb. Gorilla's on him.

--
Reid
"When two elephants fight it is the grass that suffers."
 

The Captain! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn you Reid, he was only three days to retirement! [Chuck storms past the
gorillas who all started masturbating when he whipped out a picture of
Sigourney Weaver he keeps in his pocket just in case this were to happen]
As always, a dead end; but one day, we will learn what's going on. The
secret decoder ring of the universe is waiting, waiting for us to find it
Scully. The truth is out there, and it's part of this complete breakfast.

--
Chuck
 

NOOOO My gorillas look what you have done to them. Your quest for a
complete breakfest has turned my gorillas into porn addicts. Now they want
a subscription to AOL. My beautuiful gorillas used too be killers.....
now... now they just want Sigourney Weaver... all they wanted before was
blood...
 

Chuck <CSONN@prodigy.net>wrote in message
news:8b0cd5$bpro$1@newssvr03-int.news.prodigy.com...
> This is the weirdest TGOD I've ever been in. :-)

TGOD was nothing but a cover up I created while I bred my gorillas. And now
it succeded. While the ASVS denziens were preoccupied with their "TGOD's"
my army of gorillas took control of the newsgroup. Now I CONTROL IT
ALL!!!!!! The few men who knew my true intentions are now dead... just one
remains Chuck.... MUHAAHAHAHA.... once Chuck is eliminated my true plan will
be revealed.... converting America to the Metric system....
 

Never! The Metric system was forged by Lucifer himself!
I must return to the base to get in touch with the leaders of the remaining
breakfast factions. Tony the Tiger, Lucky the Leprechaun, and Count Chocula
will be waiting, ready to launch their combined nutritious attacks and stop
Reid's madness once and for all.
Make way for....... THE CEREAL KILLERS!!!!!!
 

As chucks forces rushed into Reid's headquarters a small trap floor opened
and his cereal army fell into a swimming pool full of milk. As Chuck's army
of famous cereal mascots struggled to get out of the pool of milk an army of
800Lb.gorillas approached from all sides armed with giant spoons.

Your forces are dead Chuck surrender now!!! And yield to the metric system.
 

"The clones fooled them well enough," Tony the Tiger said, "But we must
crush him soon before he realizes the truth."
Tony the Tiger was the leader of the Kellogg's brigade, and as an ex-Navy
SEAL was quite equipped to lead this raid. However, the others that formed
this triad were also formidable. Lucky was the leader of an IRA cell in
Dublin and was famous for killing a man just for touching his lucky charms.
Count Chocula, of course, was the most notorious of them all. He had formed
his army in the hopes of driving out the communist revolutionaries in his
native land (located in Eastern Europe) and restore his own kingdom. Alas,
the Dunkin' Donuts that supported the communist regime had stopped him at
every turn. His wrath was known to all.
"I've brought in the big man himself," Chuck said. There was an audible
gasp as Fred Flintstone stepped up to the table.
Fred: [Godfather voice] It seems that Mr. Reid is muscling in on our
territory. I think it is time we bring in our, shall we say, mafioso
connections?

Reid walks into a building filled with thousands upon thousands of new
metersticks, laughing hysterically. It explodes, and nearby can be heard
the chuckling sound of Barney's voice.

--
Chuck
"Are you willing to die for stupidity? You see, I am, if it'll teach you
something." -187
 

Reid rolled up to the podium on his wheelchair. He held up a meter stick
high in the air, and adressed his army of Gorillas. "They tried to kill me.
But lukcy for me Barney does not know how to place explosives. All he
managed to do was take away my legs, righ arm, about half my hair, my
eyebrows... well you can see for yourself. Lets just say I'm lucky that
building was not powered by gas. Our mission is clear. Kill Chuck."
Hundreds of Gorillas beganto howl as those words echoed across the crowd.
"Kill him now. The forst one to bring me his head will be alowed to mate."
The horny gorillas marched off armed with milk filled guns.

Chuck woke up covered in sweat. The dream was so real. Grams, meters,
kilometers everwhere. But his thoughts were cut off by the sound of
hundreds of gorillas.

A smile came across Reid's face as he looked at the status of the neural
implant he put on Chuck.
 

Chuck screamed again as the implant tried to force him to accept the metric
system. "NO! I LIKE having things in base 12! Two pints to the quart,
four quarts to the gallon....."
"He's dilirious," the Cookie Cop announced. "Everybody give him some air."
"I've found a doctor," the Trix rabbit said.
"Dr. Pepper?" someone asked in surprise.
"Yes," he nodded, "He had a coupon on my box once." The good doctor
stumbled in and passed out on the floor.
"Dear God!" Count Chocula said. "He's been in the bottle!"
"We need to sober him up, now dammit," said Tony the Tiger. Fortunately,
Mr. Coffee was on hand to assist in the matter. Finally, Dr. Pepper was on
his feet.
"Okay, okay," he mumbled, and then sighed heavily. "Who needs the breast
implants?"
There was a long silence. "Why is everyone looking at me?" asked Mrs.
Butterworth.
"We need you to do brain surgery," Tony said. Dr. Pepper shook his head.
"Not my specialty," he remarked. "I'm a brain surgeon."
"Well, why don't you operate on his brain then."
"I've got a better idea. Why don't I operate on his brain?"
"Go for it."

Reid was furious. His beautiful brain chip had failed, and his gorillas
were unable to wipe out the Cereal Killers. He ducked as a jet of ape sperm
spewed through the air [as an aside: there's a sentence I never thought I'd
write], shorting out a nearby panel. Things were getting worse all the
time.
Meanwhile, the Irish Republican Army, under the command of Lucky, had
finished planting the devices.
"Rot in hell ye limey cocksucker," Lucky said, and hit the detonator.
Reid's headquarters exploded. "There's some orange stars for ye," Lucky
said and spit on the ground. Then the IRA forces whisked away.
 

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