....

....

Purr. Purr.

 

His first feeling is that of his cat purring loudly in his face. His hand automatically moves to scratch its ears. Then pet it. But the cat won't go away. It never does. On some level he knows that he must feed the cat, or next it will put its paw on his nose and let out its claws.

 

Blearily he gets up, and staggers into the kitchen, the large black cat leading the way, its tail standing straight up. It is still purring loudly.

 

He stumbles into the kitchen, and gets a new can of cat food from the cupboard, and fishes a plastic fork out of the drawer. Washing the metal ones all the time is annoying.

 

First he fishes Boyd's 3 inch corpse out of the can. Since Friskie's started using the tissue compressor on insane homicidal maniacs his cat started eating much better.

 

He sticks the fork teeth into the eye sockets, and tears the head off. Then he uses the fork to cut it in half - leaving brains all over the bowl. He then proceeds to cut the body into several pieces blood squirting from it from time to time. Quite bone crunching can be heard. The intestines of the corpse get tangled on the fork, and he spills a little blood on the counter as he takes out the second body. This one he cuts in half first, leaving the head on this time - his cat likes to play with its food sometimes. He tears off a foot and gives it to the dog that is jumping around begging, though.

 

He gives the bowl to the cat that is still purring around his legs. Then he wipes blood from the counter, and almost goes to sleep where he stands.

 

He wakes up with a start and thinks to himself: "Wow, what a weird dream!"

 

He looks into the cat's bowl, and sees that it left the genitals.

 

He goes back to bed. Sleep comes instantly.

Elim Garak

 

 

Brilliant! The best one yet. I've continued the tale. I hope you enjoy it.

 

Boyd awoke slowly to the sound of a hearbeat. Not his own of course, it had long since been digested. Not that it was important. After all, as a cyborg, he had mechanical systems to back p his biological ones. Following the expansion of his head - whather it was because of a huge brain or huge ego, he was uncertain - it had been replaced by an advanced biomechanical processing unit. His neutronium encased head, stripped of all features by the digestive acids of the cat's stomach rapidly evaluated the situation. Trapped in the bowels of a cat, with his body parts spread few and far bewtween, how could he avenge has capture and humiliating destruction by that fiend, Elim. Escape was, of course, the most first priority. But without limbs, how would that be possible? Of course... Collapsing the artificial gravity field generated by his head, for the briefest fraction of second was just enough for the mass of the neutronium to effect its surroundings. There was no time for a squeal, or scream of pain. Any attempt would have been impossible, as the poor animal's throat had already been pulled well inside its gut by the time the sensation of pain reached the head. A quick death, unlike the one Elim had consigned him to. The cat was after all, just a cat. It had no way of knowing that Boyd was a king, no an emporer, perhaps even a god, on some level. It did not deserve the tortures Boyd would inflict on Elim.

 

Making minute adjustments in his artificial gravity systems, Boyd's head rose out of the cat's crushed and mangked corpse and floated towards the food bowl. Hungry as ever, Boyd was about to consume its contents, when he recognised them as his genitals. A plan began to form...

 

Eim awoke this time to the sound of an alarm clock, not the gentle purr of his friend. Rising, sleepily, he pondered his recent actions. He grinned as he recalled Boyd dashing eagerly out towards that huge banoffee pie and the comical way that he fell forwards into it, as the sedativfe took effect. Still groggy fromt he drunken revelry, as he celebrated the apparent demise of Boyd, crushed and defeated by the tissue compressor, he filled a kettle and headed for the shower.

 

The post was late that day, and Mr Pat, with his black and white was just approaching ELim's house when the scream shook him. It was terrible. Like nothing he had heard before. Except for the one he had uttered when forced to sit through a whole day of Disney movies. Of course, that experience had severely traumatised him and left the memories faded and confused. He shuddered at the thought.

 

ELim looked down in disbelief. Where once his genitals had been, there was nothing but a bloodied stump. It had taken considerable concentration, but Boyd had done it. Crushing first the nerves, so that Elim would feel nothing, then manouvering his now minute head into Elim's genitals - an unpleasant but necessary experience - he had again collapsed the gravity field, crushing those precious organs. Even as Elim screamed, Boyd had worked his way up into Elim's eyes and was ready to continue. is own body had been ripped to pieces, dissolved by acid, destroyed in a viscious and uncaring way. Soon ELim would know the pain this entaled. NO more nerves would be crushed. Sitting in the pupil of Elim's eye, Boyd collapsed the gravity field for the third time...

Jonathan

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