Phong recently mentioned that he missed the days of fights between
Andrew
Muir and someone else and criticised my lack of imagination in taking
out
Kynes with a sniper rifle. So here's a thread to satisfy you. Here
you can
relieve your stress by disembowling or dismembering your enemies. In
a good
humoured kind of way. I'll get the ball rolling. Please remember this
is all
in good fun and not to be taken seriously. :^)
<Boyd gives Phong a Klingon painstick, where the sun don't
shine> Heh heh
heh.
Jonathan
ok how about borg nano porbes desinged to rend
flesh place on some one's nads?
HIT-MAN
Are you asking for fun ways, or sick and
twisted ways? Because I can do both. ;}
Elim Garak
Anything amusing or original. I like hitman's suggestion.
Jonathan
Too quick. Death of a thousand cuts is
better.
Elim Garak
hehe thanks
how abouyt throwing a nude victim into a room full of pissed off and
horny wookies?
*WEG*
HIT-MAN
Ah come on that would not be as bad as having some one siting on the
sun crusher's trop launcher and someone hit the fire button heheh
hitmanWhat about tying someone to a proton torpedo and launching it
down the DS exhaust port. Should be interesting when the torp pulls
off its several thousand g turn :^)
Jonathan
What about sending them to polish the barrel of
the superlaser just before the DS arrives in the Alderaan system.
Or how about making them spend the night in the snowcave on Hoth
(with that snowmonster thingy)
Michael January
Not a bad idea. I like the executions in Darksabre.
Jonathan
After being disconnected from the NG, Phong
notices his decoy with a rather painfull stick up ass. He then
proceeds to find Boyd and fire railgun-accelerated cheese graters at
Boyd...
Phong Nguyen
People, people, you are doing it all wrong! It
is not the quantity, it is the quality! You can tell a perfectly
normal story in such a way that it will make a guy with a titanium
lined stomach vomit his balls out. For instance, tell how you tried
to drink from a tea kettle and a cockroach jumped into your mouth and
you swallowed it - but do it imaginatively and with feeling. That is
the key to this game! ;)
Elim Garak
I hear Cardassians like the heat so here's your next holiday,
preplanned and
paid for :
First stop is the Rura Penthe 'Aliens' Graveyard" where you will
be mercilessly left exposed to the elements. This time, as the great
Montogommery Burns would have said "Release the hounds"
Assuming you survive this ordeal, as a member of the Obsidian
Order should, you will be projected back in time à la All Our
Yesterdays. Your tour guide will be a Vulcan who will swiftly regress
to a more primitive mindset, eventually going mad and entering Pon
Farr. Please bear in mind that you will take on the giuse of a female
Vulcan for this part of the tour.
Following extended bacta treatment, you will end your tour with a
bang. By being beamed out into space, a couple of million miles from
Nkklon's sun (I've probably spelt in completely wrong). Without an
environment suit. We thought we'd treat you to a bit of heat at
last.
Jonathan
Uuuh, heat is nice. I hate Seattle - it is very
cold here right now (well, cold for me who lived on Hawaii for
several years). Though Big Bang heat would probably be nicer.
Elim Garak
Jonathan finally remembered to pick up his jaw and close his mouth.
"The Obsidian Order trained you well" he commented wryly, as the
scorched body of Elim rose to greet him. "You say you like heat.
Perhaps you will enjoy 'the burning?" A cruel glint shone in his
eyes. Pulling out a Gorn Disruptor, he pointed it at Elim's gut. No
doubt you are familiar with the procedure. Well I have made a few
modifications. The Gorn Disruptor for instance. Intensely painful, so
I am told. Not in as many word of course. Those exposed to it are
quite incoherent after the 'treatment'" A vicious sneer lit up
Jonathan's face as he opened fire.
Jonathan
Which then turned into a grimace of pain, as
the beam reflected from Elim's black boots and hit Jonathan in he
groin.
Elim Garak
Saved by his armoured carapace, Jonathan shrugged off the hit and
proceded to remove Elim's boots. With nothing to hinder his shits, he
resumed firing.
Jonathan
"Nothing to hinder his shits?"
Michael January
Typo. read "shots"
Saved by his armoured carapace, Jonathan shrugged off the hit and
proceded to remove Elim's boots. With nothing to hinder his shots, he
resumed firing.
Jonathan
Okay, how about this.
This smartly dressed lady gets on the bus with me one day. She sits
down opposite me and promptly puts her head down on her arm and goes
to sleep. After a few minutes I notice that she is fast asleep and
drooling all over her hand. A few other passengers also notice this
and there is the odd snicker and whispered comment as people point
out the drool running all over her hand. Then, an indigent climbs
onto the bus at one of the stops. He is *filthy*, and *stinks*, and
is also totally *wasted*. He staggers down the aisle looking for a
place to sit, and people quickly move to make sure he doesn't sit
next to them, so he plonks himself down next to 'sleeping beauty'
with the drool all over her hand. This guy is too wasted to notice
the drool, and sits there quite happily, and she is fast asleep, and
doesn't notice him. Then the guy sneezes. And this humungous booger
drops into the drool. He eventually gets up and gets off the bus,
leaving the booger hanging in the drool, to the disgust of the
passengers. Eventually the woman wakes up, notices that she's been
drooling all over hand, and with a slightly embarrassed look around
the bus to make sure no-one has noticed that she's been drooling,
slurps it all up in one go. The bus promptly empties as everybody
rushes off to and lose their lunch.
Michael January
That's much, much better. Now do it along our
general theme. :)
Elim Garak