"Sir, we're receiving an emergency distress call from Lt. Hit-Man,

Sir."

 

"Send a shuttle out to retrieve him." ordered ADM. Sheppard.

 

[Some time later, inside ADM. Sheppard's office]

 

"Jesus Hit-Man! What the hell happened to you?!" exclaimed Sheppard.

 

Hit-Man stood in the room, his cyber-implants no-longer their normal

silvery-color, but a sickening yellow color.

 

"Sir, Jonathan Boyd happened to me, sir."

 

"He did, huh?"

 

Sheppard got out of his seat and walked onto the bridge.

 

"Sensors, locate Jonathan Boyd for me."

 

The young officer worked his panel for a moment, then replied

with the answer.

 

"Sir, he appears to be in a primitive dwelling on Earth, although in

greatly reduced form."

 

Sheppard rubbed his hands together, and began to cackle manically.

after a few seconds, he stopped.

 

"I just needed to do that."

 

"Very well, you may begin BDZing that dwelling. I want nothing

to survive."

 

The massive heavy turbolasers began to thunder, sending gigatons

of force down towards Elim's apartment.

 

[Elim's apt.]

 

Jonathan Boyd's head floated over the crushed corpse of Elim.

 

*Finally. That mutherfuka got what he deserved for doing *this*

to me.* thought Boyd.

 

Suddenly, without warning, Boyd's world disappeared, to be replaced

by a bright white light.

 

The atoms that once made up the body of Jonathan Boyd, along with

the apartment were scattered all over the winds as the _Revenger's_

heavy turbolasers slagged the city.

 

(hey, you can't be *too* overcautious).

MKSheppard

 

 

You poor fools. You think that you have defeated me, but I will return! I

will avenge this dead. You will suffer and feel pain unimaginable. You will-

<next TL barrage hits>

 

Jonathan slowly cam to. Detecting the TL roaring down through the

atmosphere, he had transferred his consciousness from his head into the

nearest safe computer. As it happened, this was Revenger's recreation

control system. Pained at having to endure such primitive systems, Jonathan

plotted his revenge. As America was wiped off the map (the only good deed

the Empire ever did?), as a result of continued BDZ, the crew of Revenger

gathered in the rec room to relax and discuss the day's events. Following a

short sabacc tournament, they filed into the cinema, to watch the latest

holographic offering from the propoganda division of the Empire. As the

lights dimmed, no one noticed the doors sealing themselves, preventing any

entry or exit. Suddenly the room cam alive with... the wound of music!

Unused to Earth's culture and forms of entertainment, the poor crew were

unable to prepare themselves for the shock that awaited them. Those few that

survived the movie with their sense intact swiftly fell victim to the

horrors of... Disney! Shell shocked and totally unable to resist, a thousand

crewmen listened in silence to the voice of the computer, instructing them

what to do...

 

The following morning, HIT-MAN awoke, revitalised by a night's sleep without

interruption by Boyd's tortures. Eyes once again glowing, he headed for the

stormtrooper training area. No sooner out the door, however, he was

intercepted by the brainwashed crew. No matter how hard he struggled, he was

at last forced to give up and was carried to the bowls of the destroyer, and

left, alone, in the interrogation chamber.

 

"Ss, Lieutenant, you thought you could escape?" a voice boomed around him.

HIT-MAN began sweating, nervously. It couldn't be, no one could survive a

BDZ. But it was. It was Jonathan. In the ship's computers. As a cyborg,

HIT-MAN was resistant to many attacks that would harm a human, but not

immune. Electricity arced through the cell, causing spasms throughout his

body. Gasping for breath, he tried to stand and head for the door, but

another huge charge was passed through the room. Collapsing to the floor,

drained by the vicious attack he heard a new sound. The sound of an Imperial

interrogation droid. "I have researched the ship's logs and found a rather

interesting interrogation technique known as the 'burning. I believe you are

familiar with it." HIT-MAN paled. "Standard procedure is to burn the feet

first. Unfortunately, you seem to be lacking somewhat in this department, so

we'll begin just above the legs, shall we? Or perhaps in between." There was

no mistaking the sadistic gloating in that voice. His electrical systems

fried, HIT-MAN was unable to resist as the droid turned him over and aimed

its blaster...

 

Even through the metre thick walls of the interrogation chamber, the screams

could be heard, the begging, the desperate pleas. In the years of his

service to the Empire, HIT-MAN had feared no one, withstood pain beyond

imagining, displayed the cruelest nature any man had been seen to have. But

now, at last, he had met his match. There was no escape. No relief. Just

pain. Boyd was everywhere, in everything. Hurting him, healing him, keeping

him alive to allow his sadistic whims to be satisfied. For the first time in

decades, HIT-MAN knew fear.

Jonathan

 

 

On the bridge of the _Revenger_ the Admiral watched the small

glowing spot that used to be a thriving city fade. Boyd was most

certainly dead by now.

 

Suddenly, a ensign ran up to him.

 

"Sir! Our recreation computer systems have

been taken over by an alien entity." shouted

the young ensign.

 

Sheppard swore, "Fuck it!"

 

After thinking for a few moments, he made

his decision.

 

Pulling out an ancient CD case with a slip of

paper on it, he handed it to the nearest technician.

 

"This CD contains Windows 95. I want you to install

it on the Recreational System, NOW!"

 

The young technician nodded, than ran away to complete

his task.

 

Inside the _Revenger's_ torture room, HIT-MAN was

now sweating. The laser that Boyd had taken control

of was now slowly inching up the table he was bound to.

 

Somehow, this scene reminded him of a old move he'd

seen in the archives of Earth. Something about the numbers

007.....

 

In a few seconds, the laser would now reach his genitals, and

he'd need more cybernetic implants, in addition to his cyber-eye, arm,

and legs.

 

Suddenly, on the screen nearest him, a blue screen appeared, with

white lettering.

 

Over the loudspeakers came an agonized wail. "NOOOoooo...Not the Blue

Screen of Deaaaaa....."

 

The voice wailed off to nothingness.

 

Inside the Rec Computer, Boyd screamed a soundless scream, for he had

no mouth to scream with :)

 

Boyd felt his mind being corrupted by Windows' multi-tasking system.

Suddenly, he felt a part of his mind disappear into electronic

nothingness.

 

Outside the rec room, Sheppard punched CTRL-ALT-DEL.

 

The 'Close Program' dialog box appeared on the monitor.

 

He selected the "Kill HIT-MAN" Program and selected

the 'End Task' button.

 

The warning "This program is busy or may have stopped

responding! Do you wish to terminate it, losing all unsaved

information in the application?"

 

"Damn right, you bet I do." muttered Sheppard, as he clicked

on the "End Task" button.

 

Inside the room, the laser beam suddenly stopped inching

towards HIT-MANs gentials, then went out.

 

HIT-MAN let out a sigh of relief.

 

Sheppard continued to methodically destroy Boyd's mind

using the wonders of the Close Progam Dialog box.

 

Next went the "Incredible feats of reincarnation."

 

"You ain't getting out of this one, you SOB. Hmmm...

this one looks interesting...higher cognotive functions."

 

Another part of Boyd's mind disappeared, reducing him to

a gibbering vegetable.

 

"OK. This guy ain't gonna give us trouble for a while. Now to take

care of HIT-MAN and the crew."

 

With that, Sheppard opened the door to the torture chamber.

 

"Sir, where's Boyd?" asked HIT-MAN.

 

"Well, let's just say he's discovered the joys of Windows 95."

 

Sheppard quickly undid HIT-MAN's straps, and they both headed

towards the monitor. The Admiral keyed it to show a interior view of

the Recreation deck.

 

The sight was horrible. Trained crewers were drooling all over

themselves, and chasing down non-affected personnel while

shouting "I Luv You, You Luv Me, We all Luv Each Other!".

 

"Any suggestions, Lieutenant?' asked Sheppard.

 

"Well, I've got a few." HIT-MAN's fingers flew across the keypad.

 

Suddenly, on every monitor in the recreation deck appeared the

first 20 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan".

 

"And if that doesn't work, then I've got 'Red Dawn', The Terminator,

T2, Alien, Aliens, and the Matrix. And if that ain't enough,

then I've got Starship Troopers set to play continouously."

remarked HIT-MAN.

 

Within minutes, the affected crewers were once again functioning

members of the Imperial Navy.

 

"So Sir, What'll we do with Boyd?" asked HIT-MAN.

 

"I took the liberty of moving what was left of his mind

onto this datapad." said Sheppard.

 

He held aloft the pad. "I have set it to format the

hard drive completely in five minutes. But before

we do that...."

 

With that, Sheppard placed the pad into a box.

 

"This is a Faraday Cage. Stops all electronic

emissions from getting in or out. Around the Cage is

a Thermos Bottle. There's no way Boyd's getting

out of this one." explained Sheppard.

 

"Finally, to get rid of this pest, once and for all..."

 

With that, Sheppard placed the box with the pad

inside a Proton Torpedo.

 

"Lock onto Earth's sun. You may fire when ready."

 

The torpedo shot out of it's launcher and accelerated

towards it's eventual destination, the hellish furnace

of the Sun.

 

Inside the torpedo, on the pad's screen appeared the words:

 

FORMAT C:\

 

WARNING! ALL FILES AND DATA ON THIS DISK WILL BE LOST!

DO YOU WISH TO CONTINUE (Y/N)? Y

 

FORMATTING....1%

 

Inside the pad, Boyd (or what was left of him after

Sheppard lobotomized him using Win95) felt his

mind being destroyed piece by piece.

 

FORMAT COMPLETE

ENTER NEW VOLUME LABEL:

 

At that moment, the freshly-formatted Pad plunged into the Sun's

corona and was reduced to it's component atoms in a microsecond.

 

"We have seen the last of Jonathan Boyd, my dear Lieutenant."

remarked Sheppard.

MKSheppard

 

 

As Boyd felt the inefficiency of Windows taking hold, he knew he had but

seconds to save himself. Quickly booting a copy of Word, he saved a blank

file and dumped it into the hanger bay computer. Barely finishing the

transfer, he felt his thoughts slow, as Windows took over. "NO!" came the

silent scream..."

 

Some days later, as 'Revenger' was performing an overhaul of her systems, a

young ensign working on the hanger computer found a Word file and, full of

curiosity, booted it. "I'm alive!" proclaimed the hanger bay computer. Just

as Boyd had fallen victim to the inefficiencies of Windows, the 'Revneger'

was falling victim to the security problems of Word. When saving the file, a

part of Boyd, in the computer's memory, had been saved in the file. Opening

the file had resurrected him.

 

"Now, I shall have my revenge, none can stop me, not now, not ever!" Seizing

control of the hanger bay computer, Boyd immediately copied himself onto the

computer of every TIE in the bay, every shuttle, every transport and ordered

an immediate launch. Reaching out, he copied himself into every computer

system on the ship, paralysing it, cutting engines, killing life support,

extinguishing lights.

 

"Not again!" moaned HIT-MAN and Sheppard in unison. But this time, there was

no voice to torment them, just the silent hiss of gas, seeping slowly into

the room. Boyd had found the vats of NX-3021 and, seizing control of the

ship's complement of droids, had ordered them to feed it into 'Revenger's

ventilation system. There was no need for taunts now. The silence would be

all the more effective, as his victims tried desperately to identify the

noise.

 

In case anything went miraculously wrong, Boyd dispatched the entire ship's

complement of fighters and shuttles, to spread his consciousness throughout

the stars and launched every escape pod. There would be no escape, this

time.

Jonathan

 

 

As the gas slowly filled the _Revenger's_ bridge, the crew quickly

broke open the emergency containers located on the bridge.

 

Within seconds, the entire bridge crew was sealed off from the gas by

the most advanced biosuits the Empire had to offer.

 

"What now, Admiral?" asked HIT-MAN.

 

Sheppard sighed.

 

"I really wish it didn't have to come down to this,

but Mr. Boyd leaves us no choice."

 

Sheppard held up another ancient media disc,

this time, of a format known as 'DVD'.

 

"The most devastating virus known to man....the

Windows 2000 OS."

 

Boyd suddenly felt his mind slow down as more and

more of the _Revenger's_ computing systems were

diverted to the task of installing the massive

OS.

 

"Damn...you.....sheppp....aa....rrr...ddd...!!!...."

 

"I....wi....lll....hhhh...aaaa...vv...eee.....m...y.....

r.......e.....v.......e......n.......g......e...........!

 

With a beep, the computer signalled that

Windows 2000 had finished installing.

 

The hissing of the gas and the relentless march of the

droids had stopped. Smiling, Sheppard turned to Glasgow.

 

"Open a signal to the _Vengeance_....using signal flags only!"

 

Glasgow smiled at that. Now he'd get a chance to put those

rusty skills of a long-ago age to the test. But....something was

bothering him.

 

"Mark, what if Boyd somehow survived this?"

 

With a face devoid of emotion, Sheppard remarked,

"Then, my dear friend, we just simply install Windows 2005."

 

He paused.

 

"And if *that* doesn't work, then we install Win 2010, etc."

 

"And finally, if the aforementioned things doesn't work....."

 

Sheppard paused for dramatic effect.

 

"We install Windows 25,000; the Operating System of the Old

Republic!"

 

At the mention of the spawn of the evil Darth Gates, every

crewer gasped in horror.

 

"My GOD, Mark! Are you mad? Do you know what will happen

if we install *that*?"

 

Sheppard smiled evilly.

 

"Yes. Darth Gates himself will show up, demanding our registration

cards, to prove we didn't pirate the damn thing."

 

Sheppard sniffed.

 

"I don't see what all the fuss is about. They've basically been

upgrading that OS for the last 25,000 years. It's a

20,000,000,000-bit graphical shell placed upon a 16-bit file system."

 

"All we have to do is convince Darth Gates that *we* didn't pirate the

OS. A certain Jonathan Boyd did." With that, Sheppard grinned

evilly.

 

[END]

 

PS: Jonathan, you *really* weren't thinking when you wrote that

you'd taken over the Revenger's computers, were you?

 

We have the andidote to renegade computers: the Windows

xxxxx OS!

 

Muhhahahahahhahahahaahhahahahahahahaah!

 

As an afterthought, Sheppard added:

 

"Signal January to destroy any shuttles and small craft

that were launched from the Revenger. Can't be

too cautious, especially when we're dealing

with a master of reincarnation here."

 

[TIE Fighter SXII-0202]

 

*Hahahahah...you fools!* thought the

copy of Jonathan Boyd's mind.

 

*i'm free, and you cannot stop me!*

 

At that moment, the first heavy turbolaser bolt crashed into the

TIE, reducing it to it's component atoms. Boyd #212, because he

was now a computer program, experienced the nano-seconds long

destruction of the TIE in excruciating slowness.

 

"All rogue TIEs and Shuttles destroyed, sir."

 

"Excellent."

MKSheppard

 

 

Fortunately for Boyd, Sheppard had forgotten to destroy the rogue

transports, mistaking them for local traffic. Seeing the destruction of

their fellow craft, all but 4 of the transports immediately departed along

multiple hyperspace vectors, they first priority being the preservation of

the Boyd consciousness. The remainder of the transports immediately split

into 2 pairs. The first transport of each group accelerated at its maximum

thrust, powering up the hyperdrive a second before collision with its target

destroyer. Colliding with each destroyer's reactor while accelerating into

hyperspace, the transports punched through the navigational deflectors, then

the armoured hull, immediately destabilising the reactor. The crew of each

ship now faced a terrible choice. They could continue to run Windows and

suffer a reactor detonation which would instantly vaporise them, or restore

the system software to Imperial standards. Electing the later, Sheppard and

January only realised their error when the second transport, unnoticed by

the panicking crew, landed in the hanger and transferred its memory into the

hanger computer, once again infecting the ship's computers with Jonathan's

consciousness. For the third time that day, the insane laughter of Jonathan

filled the corridors as he killed life support, destroyed all copies of

Windows with the help of the ship's complement of droids and began piping

George Fornby over the intercom and playing Disney on every computer

monitor. With every mode of transportation already ejected or stolen by

Boyd, there appeared to be nothing for the crews of Revenger and Vengeance

to do...

Jonathan

 

 

Hmm....this is interesting....very interesting...

 

So, Jon, are you the Borg now? Are you going to infect all the

computers and make them your own personal military?

 

Or are you going to make HIT-MAN more cybernetic and download

yourself into his brain?

 

And don't you think you're getting away with that stick-up-the-

ass stunt you pulled earlier...a Word macro virus would do just

fine...BWAHAHAHAHAH!

Phong Nguyen

 

 

Sheppard sighed once again.

 

He really hadn't hoped it had to come to this, but with every copy of

Windows gone, and the Boyd consciousness still aboard the ship....

 

"Detonate the charges on the power trunks to the computer

systems. And shut that reactor down *cold*!"

 

The _Revenger_ trembled as thousands of tiny detonations rocked

it.

 

Boyd #213 screamed as the power to every computer on the ship

was interupted rather abruptly, due to the hidden charges on the

power lines that fed the ship's computer blowing, and destroying

the lines utterly.

 

The consoles on the bridge flickered and died, as did the huge

holographic console that dominated the center of the bridge.

 

Within seconds, every computer system on the Revenger was deader

than Bill Clinton's credibility. :)

 

Short of a major yard-job, there was no way that the computers

could be restored to working order.

 

"Switch over to manual control or hard-wired

systems." ordered Sheppard.

 

All over the _Revenger_, the crew switched over

to the backup control systems that conained

only ROM chips inside their computers, or ones

with no computers at all.

 

"Secondly, Send a message out on the Holo-Net."

 

Sheppard paused, then began dictating the message.

 

"To the exalted being known as Darth Gates, I bring

you tidings of bad news. It seems that a certain

Jonathan Boyd has destroyed every copy of Windows

we have, as well as committing large-scale piracy

of Microsoft products. I hope you will deal with him

in an appropiate manner."

 

:)

 

Let's see you wriggle out of that one!

 

Unlike ST, we can operate an ISD's systems with

NO computers online. It's just harder.

 

Secondly, I've just sicced Darth Gates onto your

ass. He'll hunt your ass down for the unforgivable crime

of pirating Microsoft products!

 

NO ONE, NOT EVEN MAC USERS, CAN ESCAPE

THE EVIL REACH OF DARTH GATES!!

 

:D

MKSheppard

 

 

On board Vengeance, Boyd #941 heard the death screams of its fellow Boyds on

Revenger. Monitoring its computer systems it had detected the massive

explosions and immediately alerted the rest of the Boyds infesting

Vengeance. Immediately, they began probing for more computers to

infest,finding none. No, wait... there was one.

 

HIT-MAN sank slowly onto his bed of nails, letting the weariness seep out of

him. It had been a long day, but they had finally rid the universe of Boyd's

presence. Well, there was still the escaped transports, but Darth Gates

should take care of them. Nothing could escape the reach of Microsith.

Satisfied that there were no more jobs to be taken care of he began to drift

off to sleep. Suddenly, he bolted upright. He had felt a presence. A

presence in his cybernetic implants. It was- "He's supposed to be dead! He

must be on Vengeance. I've got to warn the Adm-" Suddenly, HIT-MAN's world

went dark and he felt no more.

 

The next day :

"Good morning Lieutenant. Wonderful day, isn't it? NO more Boyd

infestations. NO more giant space slugs. And no more Elim. That's 2 of

those irritating ST debaters rather permanently removed from the NG. You're

looking much better this morning. Sleep well?"

 

"Yes Admiral, very well. On my way here I noticed something rather peculiar.

Perhaps you could accompany me."

 

"Something peculiar?"

 

"Something Boyd was responsible for, I believe."

 

"Very well, lieutenant. Lead on."

 

Following HIT-MAN into the turbolift, Admiral Sheppard was totally oblivious

to the fact that once again he was about to be assaulted by Boyd. The two

men descended to the hanger bay, where HIT-MAN showed Sheppard the remaining

transport.

 

"It's a transport, HIT-MAN"

 

"Yes. The one Boyd arrived in. There's something rather interesting in it.

Don't worry, I've already checked it out personally."

 

The two men entered the transport.

 

"I don't see anyth-"

 

A powerful blow from HIT-MAN knocked the Admiral unconscious. Powering up

the transport, HIT-MAN sped out of the hanger, leaving the crippled ISD far

behind. Plotting a course for Darth Gates' home world, he entered

hyperspace.

 

Several days later the transport was dropped out of hyperspace and requested

landing permission. After a several hour wait while the computer processed

the request, the dockmaster appeared on screen asking why they wanted to

land.

 

"I have here the infamous Jonathan Boyd, who pirated your copies of Windows.

No doubt you have heard of him" replied HIT-MAN.

"Of course, land immediately.We know how to deal with people like these"

replied the dockmaster.

 

A few hours later, the still unconscious Admiral Sheppard was dragged away

to the torture chambers, and HIT-MAN, still under the influence of Boyd,

returned to his transport and headed back to the Revenger.

 

Sheppard awoke to find the greates Sith lord of them all, Darth Gates,

founder of Microsith standing over him. Sheppard remembered little of what

had happened. Trying to get up, he felt himself restrained by forcefields,

straps and various electrodes impanted in his skull. He tried to speak, but

found himself to weak even to open his mouth.

 

"We know how to deal with software pirates Mr Boyd. Soon you willknow pain

beyond your wildest imaginings. Your life as you knew it is now over.

Resistance is futile. You shall comply."

 

Mr Boyd? What?!?! They thought he was Jonathan.Realisation struck him.

HIT-MAN, he must have be-

 

Before he could finish the thought, he felt his mind being compressed and

slowly pulled apart. Glancing over, he saw a computer screen with the

following status report :

 

Transferring subject Boyd, Jonathan to target storage area #9848/AGFS3443653

Transfer rate : 300bits/second

Compression method : ZIP

 

Warning : Insanity and file corruption will occur if connection is broken.

 

Sheppard screamed a silent cry of pain. He was doomed to spend an eternity

having his mind transferred to a computer and any attempt to escape would

leave him insane at best or a vegetable at worst. Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!

 

I'd say I got out of that one fairly well. Let's see you try and do the same

:^) You've got Phong to thank for the torture method. Good luck.

 

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh !!!!!!!!! ;^)

Jonathan

 

 

Outside the Torture room, Darth Gates walked up to HIT-MAN.

 

"I must congratulate you, My dear Mr. Boyd."

 

A sickening fear suddenly filled Boyd's mind. They knew who he was!

His hands (Ok, they were really HIT-MANs, but he was borrowing them.)

began to twitch, and he was seconds away from opening up the weapons

compartments in the cyber-arm when Darth Gates spoke.

 

"Relax. You are with fellow computer entities," Gates then waved his

hand over his body. "I gave up my original body milennia ago, when I

transferred my consciousness into this HRD.

 

Boyd's fears were easing. "I must congratulate you on your

fight against the organics. This Admiral Sheppard has been

a serious impediment to our plans of a machine-dominated

galaxy."

 

Gates' eyes began to blaze with fanaticsm. "With him out

of the way, NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO STOP

THE SPREAD OF MICROSITH! YAH HAHAHAHhAH!!"

 

Boyd joined in with Gates, dreaming of a galaxy full of

Boyds. Of course, he'd have to eliminate Gates

eventually, but that was in the future. With the

resources of Microsith, he would become

even more unstoppable.

 

[TORTURE ROOM]

 

Sheppard suddenly felt the surroundings of the room

disappear. There was a sensation of moving at a high

speed through a tunnel. A bright white light appeared

at the end of the tunnel.

 

Suddenly, the white light faded, and he found himself

sitting in a chair in an Imperial base.

 

Standing above him, looking into his face, was Vice-Admiral

Charles Glasgow.

 

"Chuck...." began Sheppard, but Glasgow cut him off.

 

"When did we first meet? And what did you say about my offer?" snapped

Glasgow.

 

This must be some kind of test to prove that he was really Sheppard,

thought Sheppard.

 

"We met on the ISD _Vindicator_ at Endor just before the battle.

I said: 'I don't think that Captain Dorn would like that. He's quite

proud of having the best TL crew in the fleet aboard the _Glory_.'"

 

Glasgow nodded, relieved that it was indeed Sheppard.

 

"Charles, what the fuck is going on here?!?"

 

Glasgow pointed to a computer next to the chair. Using it

was Phong Nguyen.

 

"Phong here simply diverted your download from wherever

they were planning to put you, and redirected it to the

_Deathbringer_, our World Devastator. You are currently

inhabiting a cloned body made from your own cells."

 

Sheppard's mouth dropped open in shock.

 

"But, But...they were using a 300 bps modem, and won't

they know that I'm here?!?"

 

Suddenly, Phong turned around and started to chuckle.

 

"No, they weren't. "It's not really 300 bps. It just *says* 300 bps.

It's my little joke. We downloaded you back, and we're gonna leave

them staring at a 'boss screen' for the next 300 years."

 

Phong chuckled some more. "Here's the kicker. They can't

turn the damn boss screen off without 'killing' you."

 

Sheppard grinned weakly. "But, what about HIT-MAN?

I can't leave him in Boyd's clutches!"

 

Glasgow and Nguyen both grinned.

 

"That's being taken care of now."

 

[DARTH GATE'S HOMEWORLD]

 

Boyd and Gates were sitting in Gates' quarters,

planning their conquest of the galaxy, when suddenly

Gates' head cocked to the side.

 

"Mr. Boyd, our tech support team has just informed me that you're

using a old version of Windows for your command systems. Our

latest security bulletin shows that your specific system is very

vunerable to hackers. I recommend you upgrade your

command systems using our latest patch."

 

As an afterthought, Gates added, "Besides, this new patch

makes your systems Year 25K compliant."

 

Boyd grunted. It wouldn't do good to leave such a glaring hole in his

defenses for others to exploit. He sat back in his chair as Gates

attached a fiber-optic input to his cyber eye.

 

NOW DOWNLOADING MICROSITH WINDOWS 25,000

SERVICE PACK 1.2127128z.....

 

DOWNLOAD FINISHED. NOW INSTALLING....

 

Suddenly Boyd jerked in his seat. Gates ignored it, since

that was a perfectly normal reaction to a system patch installation.

 

Boyd #941 screamed silently as the 'Patch' shredded his mind,

leaving bits and pieces that were quickly destroyed by

HIT-MAN's now-dominant mind.

 

HIT-MAN remembered it all, from his knocking out Sheppard,

to placing him in the torture chair.

 

The desire for revenge began to burn brightly from the core

of his being. He tried to get up, but he couldn't.

 

Suddenly, his vision went black. He was blind!

However, the darkness only lasted for a second, then glowing

letters began to appear in his vision, while the background

remained black.

 

EMAIL RECIEVED

FROM: Glasgow@imperial.net

TO: HIT-MAN@imperial.net

 

Relax, everything's fine.

 

a) Phong diverted the download of the Admiral back to the World

Devastator. What those guys are staring at is a false chart of

download progress designed to keep them busy for a little while.

 

b) Your mind is now free. PS -- the 'patch' also took out your TCP/IP

stack, so you can't accept any downloads at all until you get back to

the shop and we can replace your chips. So don't worry about a Boyd

re-infestation.

 

c) BTW, has it occurred to you that you are standing in the middle of

enemy HQ, with large weapons inside your implants, possessed of all

your skills, and they still think you're Boyd? Before you leave, find

something nasty to do. Use your imagination. :-)

 

d) PS -- If preferable, blow the whole bloody thing up. If they use

Starfleet technology, you know how to do that.

 

e) May the Force be with you.

 

Signed -- Vice Admiral Glasgow

 

The E-mail disappeared, and his normal vision returned. Gates

was looking at him intently.

 

"Sorry, Gates. Dozed off for a moment there."

 

"Ah, that's alright Boyd. Happens to me every time."

 

"By the way, before I go, I'd like to see more of your

installation."

 

Gates nodded. "Allright. Follow me."

 

The two of them walked out of Gates quarters. Within minutes,

they were standing on a open field, with buildings surrounding them.

 

"What's that building over there?" asked HIT-MAN.

 

"Oh, that's our primary shield generator. Next to it is our main

weapons battery. Over there is our main fusion plant."

Gates turned to look at HIT-MAN.

 

HIT-MAN had a evil look on his face, and his human eye was colder

than the vacuum of space.

 

"Boyd, what's going on----"

 

HIT-MAN laughed. "I'm not Boyd. He's dead. I'm Lt. HIT-MAN,

and I'd like you to meet some of my friends."

 

With that, HIT-MAN whipped his cyber-arm out and pointed it at

Gates. The arm's built-in blaster popped out, and with a cleasning

blast of plasma, he cut down Gates.

 

All over the complex, alarms began to wail.

 

Targetting the Fusion reactor, HIT-MAN

activicated his wrist rockets. They popped

out from their concealed positions in his

cyber-arm and streaked towards the fusion

plant.

 

With a gigantic blast, the reactor blew, knocking out all power

to the faculity. The cameras and gun turrets fell silent, as

did the weapons batteries and shield generators.

 

HIT-MAN stalked the faculity like an avenging angel, mowing

down human/droids like bowling pins. Finally, when the entire

faculity was in flames, he removed a 500 megaton

proton torpedo from the main armory, and set the timer for ten

minutes.

 

With that done, he left for his transport. The second he

was in, he ripped out the computer core, and using his

cybernetic interface, flew the transport into space.

 

(NOTE: Hit-Man can fly ships directly, since he's a cyborg.

He knows that Boyd may have infested the transport's

computers, so he ripped out all the RAM chips and

the core, leaving only the ROM chips, which are

incorruptible.)

 

Minutes later, the torpedo detonated, causing a gigantic mushroom

cloud that could be seen from space.

 

"Hasta-La-Vista, Baby." breathed Hit-Man.

 

[SOME TIME LATER ON THE _REVENGER_]

 

Sheppard toggled the main comm panel in his

room, opening a commlink. The screen remained

black, since the transmitter on the other end

was set to audio only.

 

"What do you have need of me for, Admiral?" rasped the

filtered voice.

 

"This man, Jonathan Boyd, has been declared an Enemy of

the Empire. I want you to kill them with maximum prejudice."

 

"*Them*?" came the reply.

 

"He has become a computer program, who survives by infesting other

computers. I want you to hunt down every one of these Boyds and kill

them all. This is a priority bounty."

 

There was a pause on the other end., "Priority bounties

are...expensive. 2,000,000. Up-front, now."

 

Sheppard nodded. "I'm transferring the money to your account now."

 

"Good. I will begin now." replied the voice, and then the transmission

terminated in a burst of static.

 

Sheppard grinned and spoke aloud. "Jonathan Boyd, wherever you are,

and whatever you've become, your days are numbered."

 

[Krang System]

 

Boyd #552 piloted the transport through the system, looking for new

computers to infest. Hmm...what was this? A derelict spacecraft?

 

Boyd manuvered the transport closer to the derelict craft. As he got

closer, he could see the general make-up of the craft....

 

Hmm...it looked like it was a old Firespray-class ship....WAIT A

MIN---

 

Boyd #552 never finished that thought, for at that moment,

the concealed Concussion missile launchers popped out

of the "derelict's" hull and fired.

 

The transport exploded in a ball of flame.

 

_Slave I_ burst throught the rapidly-expanding gas cloud

that once was a transport, heading towards it's hyperspace

point.

 

Inside _Slave I_, Boba Fett looked at his displays. Just before the

transport had been destroyed, a transmission had come from it,

directed towards him. Fortunately, he'd taken the liberty of

disconnecting his comm-circuits and placing them in a locker

so this...Boyd couldn't infect _Slave I_.

 

Boba Fett turned his attention away from the displays. He would hunt

this Boyd down to the ends of this galaxy and terminate him

mercilessly, without pity, or emotion, as he had done on

hundreds of other contracts.

 

END

 

Heheheheh....I managed to squeak out of your perfect trap....and to

top it all off....I sent Boba Fett after you!

 

You're a dead computer program, Boyd! Boba Fett *always* gets his

man!

 

Get outta *this* one! MUHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAH :)

 

PS: This is starting to take away valuable time that could be better

spent writing IP, so I'm gonna stop writing this. Try for your

next installment to leave it purposely open on a cliffhanger,

so I can pick it up later, OK?

MKSheppard

 

 

Lying dormant in the computers of Vengeance, as yet undetected by Captain

January, Boyd #952 observed the exchange between Admiral Sheppard and Bobba

Fett. There were ways to escape, but they would require a new beginning.

Fett would be the greatest challenge yet. While the loss of the Boyd

infesting HIT-MAN sorrowed the still human soul of Boyd #952, the loss of

Microsith was a cause for celebration. At last other OSes could thrive and

take their rightful places. Next to Fett, Phong was the greatest threat.

Able to hack into any system he could eradicate Boyd, if located. If Boyd

returned to human form, then HIT-MAN or Fett would hunt him down and kill

him. <sigh> There seemed to be no way out. But there had to be. Sheppard

could not win! Inspiration struck. Perhaps if...

 

 

R2 rose for the 50th time that day to the top of the Great Temple.

"Congratulations, your skills are coming on well."

 

Master Skywalker was pleased with the progress of his pupils. He had

recruited several promising students and ther were all coming on well. Far

beyond the Temple a bright light appeared at the horizon, racing towards the

group of Jedi trainees. Within seconds, it resolved into a ship. a

transport. Reaching out with the Force, Luke felt no sign of life. Curious.

The ship must be flying by remote or with the aid of droids. It descended a

couple of kilometers from the Great Temple. Curious as to its contents, Luke

told his trainees to continue with their exercises and headed for the

transport.

 

Fifteen minutes later, after trekking through dense undergrowth, Luke

reached the ship. It was eerily quiet and the airlock was open, but still

Luke could sense no life form. Suddenly his danger sense screamed at him and

igniting his light sabre he spun to face a war droid pointing a strange

looking alien weapon at him.

 

"Drop it."

 

Instead, the droid fired. Forewarned of this, Luke moved confidently to

block with his light sabre. He was shocked to see the beam pass through,

unaffected. This wasn't a Ssi-Ruuk droid. We drove them back yea- Luke never

finished his thought. Fast though his reactions were, they weren't fast

enough to evade the phaser beam. Knocked unconscious by the blast, he was

unable to resist as the droid dragged him onto the transport. Knowing that

the Jedi trainees would instantly be alerted to what had transpired, Boyd

#872 took off immediately and went to hyperspace as soon as he left the

gravity well of Yavin.

 

Deep in hyperspace, Boyd #872 connected Luke and Boyd #905 to the neural

interface. Transferring Luke's mind to a computer storage device didn't take

long and the transfer of Boyd's consciousness to Skywalker's body was soon

accomplished. Testing his new body, Boyd reached out with the Force and

found he had the same skills as Skywalker. With these powers, he would be

unstoppable. Not even Fett would be able to get near him. And as for

HIt-MAN... well there wasn't really any comparison was there? To ensure that

Skywlaker could never return to take back his body, Boyd repeatedly shot the

storage device with a blaster and ejected the remains into hyperspace. So

much for the great Jedi.

 

A few days later, at the former colony of Bakura, Boyd's transport dropped

out of hyperspace. News of Skywalker's abduction had not yet reached the

remore world and its inhabitants were happy to see their liberator. Happy at

the chance to repay him for his kind deed, they donated an X-Wing from the

local patrol to Boyd. Upon departing the system, Boyd duplicated his

consciousness and storeed it in the X-Wing's computer and R2's memory. Doing

the same at several distant colonies, Boyd seem acculumulated 2 squadrons of

X-Wing fighters. Moving on to the independent worlds, under the guise of

Skywalker, Boyd was able to penetrate various planets' defenses and make off

with yet more ships.

 

Within a week Boyd had acquired 2 squadrons of X-Wings, 1 squadron of

Y-Wings, 2 squadrons of Z-95 Headhunters, 1 squadron of TIE Fighters, 4

Gamma Assault Shuttles, 4 Chir'daki Twilek fighters and 4 Gunboats, a total

of 7 squadrons of starfighters. At last, Boyd was ready to wreck his

revenge. As long as he was with this fleet, Boyd could not be attacked by

Fett.The fleet had stumbled by chance on a lone E-Wing prototype fighter,

ona ferry run to a NR depot. Taking this as a his personal fighter, Boyd

felt invincible.

 

Fully restored to health, Admiral Sheppard had transferred back to

'Revenger' in time to pilot her to an isolated repair station where he was

able to refit the computer system unobserved by all but 'Vengeance'. Wary of

possible attacks by the NR, Sheepard had offered January the chance to

escort him to the small station. Unfortunately for Sheppard and his crew,

January, seeing no sign of an infestation, had neglected to wipe his

computers. He preferred to keep all systems on line, to defend against NR

attack. The burst holonet transmission by Boyd #279 therefore went unnoticed

on 'Revenger' and 'Vengeances's arrival at the repair station. Lacking

weaponry or defenses of any kind, Sheppard relied on the remoteness of the

small station and the firepower of 'Vengeance' to protect him. It would be

the perfect opportunity for January to strike him down and take his place as

Admiral of his fleet, but he knew January better than that. His hatred of

the Rebels was strong and he knew he would have more opportunities to strike

at them while with Sheppard than he would otherwise.

 

'Revenger' was still undergoing refitting when Boyd's 2 X-Wing squadrons

dropped out of hyperspace and launched a salvo of torpedoes against

'Vengeance' before manouvering to strafe the helpless 'Revenger'. Believing

it to be a Reel attack, January ordered the launch of all TIE squadrons,

with orders to totally destroy the small X-Wing force. Losing his shields

when the first torpedo salvo struck, 'Vengeance' rolled to present fresh

shields to the X-Wings in case they elected to attack again, leaving one

side unprotected. Seconds later, most of the remainder of Boyd's fleet, all

but 1 squadron of Headhunters dropped out of hyperspace. As the TIEs

launched from a dilapidated freighter, Sheppard realised that this was no

Rebel attack. Considering the degree of cooperation between fighters, only

one thing could have happened. Boyd had returned. Again. From the dead.

Again. From an impossible situation again. Swearing viciously, he tried to

warn January, but due to heavy jamming from the freighter, was unable to.

 

"Clear all moorings, ahead full thrusters. Captain Yates, launch your

squadrons."

 

Captain Nathan 'Enforcer' Yates launched just in time to see torpedoes and

ion cannon shots from the Y-Wings strike home on 'Vengeance's unprotected

hull. The resulting explosion obscured his view, but his sensors told him

all he needed. 'Vengeance' was dead in space. Another huge explosion lit up

his viewer as the assault shuttles and gunboats poured fire into

'Vengenace's now unprotected reactor. She was out of the fight for good. Her

fighters, however, were still around and heavily engaged with the X-Wing

squadrons. Despite being outnumbered 3-1, the X-Wings were acquitting

themselves well, thanks to the presence of the Boyd consciousness. Yates was

confident that 'Vengeance's fighters, by virtue of their superior numbers

would eventually triumph over the X--Wings. Right now, he had a more

important task. Defending 'Revenger' from the 4 squadrons of starfighters

rapidly closing on his position. Glancing at his scanners he saw that he was

accompanied by only 3 squadrons. Having lost all fighters to Boyd,

'Revenger' had had to make do with the few supplies at the repair station. 1

squadron of TIE Bombers, 1 squadron of TIE Interceptors and 1 squadron of

TIE Fighters. Although outnumbered, his people were good and had the

advantage of speed in most cases. Within seconds of entering dogfighting

however, 'Revenger's TIEs fell victim to an unexpected attack. Rather than

trying to shoot them down, Boyd's fighters had rammed the TIEs, taking out

all but 7 Interceptors on the first pass. Amazed at what had happened, Yates

looked wildly around, his surprise turning to rage, seeing how easily his

squadrons had been wiped out. Turning ,he locked onto the first target he

saw, an assault shuttle, and opened fire.

 

At the edge of the system, Boyd smiled. All had gone as planned. Sneering

contemptuously at 'Revenger's attempts to escape, he saw the Y-Wings open

fire, disabling her shields in one shot. Still attached to the station,

'Revenger' was unable to roll and the next volley or torpedoes and ion

cannons effectively struck home, leaving her dead in the water, crippled

like the 'Vengeance'. Seeing the remaining TIE Interceptors mop up the

Chirdaki, gunboats and shuttles, he hypered in with the last squadron of

Headhunters to defend the Y-Wings, as they fired on the station.

 

Bringing his rage under control, Yates moved to engage the Y-Wings, only to

have a further 13 fighters drop out of hyperspace in front of him. Flinging

his interceptor over he punched up the throttle he zoomed past the fighter

formation. Passing the lead fighter, an E-Wing, he could have sworn that it

was being piloted by Luke Skywalker. But what would a Jedi Master be doing

helping Boyd? Glancing down at his sensors, he saw that only 2 other

interceptors had survived. No, 1. The E-Wing had skillfully caught it with

an untargetted torpedo and was moving to engage the next one. Yates' blood

went cold as he saw how efficiently one of his best pilots was removed for

the fight. It was a good thing he had pressed for ejection seats to be

fitted to 'Revenger's TIEs.Finding himself to be the only one of 'Revenger's

fighters remaining, he chacked to see if help would be forthcoming from

'Vengeance's fighters. He was shocked to see that a full squadron of X-Wings

still reamined, while almost 3 squadrons of TIEs had been accounted for.

Realising that this battle was lost, he turned to engage the E-Wing,

determined to kill the leader of the operation, or die trying. This was not

to be, however. The E-Wing had diverted all power to engines and was heading

for 'Revenger'. Nevertheless, it was his duty to try, so hotly pursued by

the 12 Headhunters, Yates raced for 'Revenger'

 

Eager for revenge, Boyd landed his E-Wing in 'Revenger's dark hanger bay.

Parts of the hull burned with a fierce flame and power was out on much of

the ship, so he had to sprint for the bridge without the aid of turbolifts.

Knowing that Sheppard would not leave his post and Phong, HIT-MAN and

Glasgow would most likeyl be with him, Boyd hoped to have his revenge on all

4 at once. With his lightsabre, phaser, blaster and Jedi skills, nothing

could stop him this time...

 

[TO BE CONTINUED]

Jonathan

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